Imperator Fish on Shane Jones

March 14th, 2014 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

Some very biting satire from Imperator Fish:

I’ve been drawing a bit of flak for my criticism in recent days of the Green Party. I’ve now had time to reflect on my comments, and I’ve also spoken to my leader. David has reminded me that we can’t afford to take our eyes off the prize. When we fight with our political allies the only winners are National. …

I was probably out of line when I called Green Party MP Gareth Hughes a “mollyhawk”. And not just because the correct name for the bird is “mollymawk”.  I don’t have time to concern myself with matters of avian etymology, because, unlike some political parties I could name, I’m more interested in jobs and growth than in saving some stupid bird. But I accept that the analogy was an inaccurate one. The Greens have always struck me more as ostriches with their heads in the sand.

Still, I was wrong to attack a Green MP so publicly, because we all want the same thing: to get rid of John Key. That’s why I have promised David Cunliffe that there will be no more attacks on the Greens. I won’t have a bad word said about that unwashed anti-growth lentil-eating pack of luddites.

It’s too soon to tell whether a Labour-led government would include the Greens, though that’s certainly a possibility. We will have to wait and see until after the election. We may have options of forming a government with my good friend Winston, or we may decide to opt to go with a dangerous and radical party full of ideologues with lunatic ideas.  I personally don’t have a preference.

Heh.

I have nothing against either of the Green Party co-leaders, and I have worked with them in the past without difficulty. Russel Norman is almost tolerable for an Australian, and I am starting to warm to his annoying and irritating accent. Metiria seems pleasant enough as a person, even if the way she goes on about the environment fills me with rage. I would have no problem being in Cabinet with either of those idiots.

So let’s put to rest any suggestion that I have an axe to grind against the Green Party. I will work with anyone who shares my goal of kicking John Key’s government out, even if those people turn out to be economic vandals intent on destroying jobs and growth for the sake of a few dolphins. That’s why I want to assure the Green Party leadership that I’m committed to making our relationship work.

There’s part of me that almost wishes for a Labour/Greens/Winston/Hone Government, just for the sheer pleasure of seeing the fighting!

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20 Responses to “Imperator Fish on Shane Jones”

  1. Jim (398 comments) says:

    “So I’m sorry to say I will be making no more public statements about the Green Party and all the terrible things they have planned for New Zealand.”

    lololol. Is it still satire if it’s true?

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  2. Bovver (173 comments) says:

    The only thing wrong with the popcorn show that would be a Labour/Greens/Winston/Hone Government is that we the taxpayers would have to pay for it.

    Maybe we could get NZ on Air to fund it as a reality TV show.

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  3. Harriet (5,145 comments) says:

    “….I will work with anyone who shares my goal of kicking John Key’s government out….”

    Well that won’t happen as no one ever does any work on their side.

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  4. redqueen (583 comments) says:

    Fantastic…

    And yes, there is a certain sadistic enjoyment in the idea of these clowns ‘governing’.

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  5. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    “….I will work with anyone who shares my goal of kicking John Key’s government out….”

    Yeah, and I’ll vote for anyone if it achieves the same result! Never thought I’d agree with something Jones said – goes to show you never know what life will dish up!

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  6. jp_1983 (227 comments) says:

    Judith (5,136 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 1:38 pm
    “….I will work with anyone who shares my goal of kicking John Key’s government out….”

    Yeah, and I’ll vote for anyone if it achieves the same result! Never thought I’d agree with something Jones said – goes to show you never know what life will dish up!

    Judith- Its satire (not true)

    Oh by the way at least 50.1% of the population dont want John Key gone

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  7. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    jp_1983 (82 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 1:43 pm
    Oh by the way at least 50.1% of the population dont want John Key gone

    Could you please post evidence of this ? Whilst you’re at it, you might like to tell us how you established which way children and minors (who are members of our population) think regarding this issue?

    Prone to exaggeration … Much? Or just acting like our politicians and doing anything you can to feed us a good story? ;-)

    As soon as you start suggesting you know what the ‘population’ wants, you lose any credibility you might think you have.

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  8. burt (8,324 comments) says:

    Judith

    As soon as you start suggesting you know what the ‘population’ wants, you lose any credibility you might think you have.

    Yes, agree. The vast majority of Labour/Green party policy is proof of this.

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  9. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    @ burt (6,998 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    Anyone – no matter what their political affiliations are cannot possibly know what the population thinks unless they have canvassed the entire population.

    Those are the sort of statements stupidly made by our politicians, of which so many brainless wonders accept without question.

    Goes to show how so many people are so easily sucked in …

    And in case you are trying to suggest I have Labour/Green affiliations – I don’t. My votes this year will be against John Key, not for whoever gets them. I have only one aspiration and that is to see John Key hung up to dry … can’t stand the man, can’t stand his politics and can’t stand his influence on the political environment of this country. I have a poor opinion of all our politicians – but think the worst of JK.

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  10. mikenmild (11,777 comments) says:

    Judith
    It doesn’t work that way – whover you vote for is getting your support.

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  11. Pita (374 comments) says:

    Judith

    “As soon as you start suggesting you know what the ‘population’ wants, you lose any credibility you might think you have.”

    I agree entirely, that’s why I can understand why Cunliffe and the Greens keep banging on about the “Majority” of New Zealander’s being against asset sales when a general election and a referendum would suggest otherwise

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  12. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    @ mikenmild (7,813 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Then that’s something I’m prepared to lose … I’d do whatever it takes … There is no way in this world national will ever get my vote again as long as they have John Key on their team. But as I was bought up that one must vote, I will make my vote cancel out a JK supporter. I’m encouraging others to do the same – they may be like me and not like any of the other parties, but as I say, work out who do you dislike the most – and vote against them if nothing else.

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  13. mikenmild (11,777 comments) says:

    I think it’s a valid enough miotivation to want to vote against Key, but that will lead you to consideration of which candidate and party represent the best chance of achieving that.

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  14. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    @ mikenmild (7,814 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I doubt I will put that much thought into it. I have very little respect for any of our politicians (having said that I do like Gerry and hope that one day he gets the recognition he deserves). I shall simply vote for anyone who would definitely not go into coalition with JK. Will be the first time in my 56 years that I will have voted so irresponsibly, but there’s a first time for everything.

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  15. griffith (1,111 comments) says:

    http://www.angelfire.com/or/sociologyshop/lazlong.html
    Notebooks of Lazarus Long

    TIME ENOUGH FOR LOVE

    Robert Heinlein

    If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for…but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.

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  16. mikenmild (11,777 comments) says:

    That takes us some of the way, but voting against someone really requires an exercise in considering how your votes might best achieve your desired outcome.

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  17. griffith (1,111 comments) says:

    How do you think I feel mike?
    Who does a realist vote for when most of the right are running around in total denial of the findings of climate science?.
    The greens are to full of moonbats labour is stuck in the seventys. Act is infected with wingnuts. I am seriously looking at a protest vote for nzfirst gag gag

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  18. mikenmild (11,777 comments) says:

    Start your own party and vote for yourself.

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  19. BeaB (2,148 comments) says:

    Or just stay home and reflect on why the suffragists fought for the vote.

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  20. Yoza (1,913 comments) says:

    Pita (349 comments) says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Judith

    “As soon as you start suggesting you know what the ‘population’ wants, you lose any credibility you might think you have.”

    I agree entirely, that’s why I can understand why Cunliffe and the Greens keep banging on about the “Majority” of New Zealander’s being against asset sales when a general election and a referendum would suggest otherwise

    National got 47% of the vote from the 74% that voted in the last election.

    67% of those who voted in the referendum on asset sales voted against the idea.

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