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July 1, 2005 7:45pm by David Farrar

Helen Clark Artist

A reader has sent me the graphic below. Very funny. 2005 is going to be the election with the best vandalised art 🙂

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Adolf Fiinkensein

They’ve superimposed Maharey’s eyes and Goof’s mouth but the bitch is still ugly.
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July 1, 2005 8:04pm
Graeme Edgeler

I was rather surprised when I saw this photo on a poster advertising the front cover of this month’s Australian Women’s Weekly…
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July 1, 2005 8:05pm
David Farrar

AL – language please.
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July 1, 2005 8:07pm
coge

Maybe she can attach it to her C/V when she posts it to the U.N. Hopefully in the not too distant future.
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July 1, 2005 8:15pm
Gaz

She is still horsey.
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July 1, 2005 8:29pm
spector

To be fair, Helen is not the only one that could do with a bit of a touch up. If I was Nationals campaign manager the first thing i’d do is get everyone down to the stylist for a haircut… and then whisk them straight off to the hand-tailored suit shop. John Keys, if you’re reading this, you’re a rich man go and get a decent suit and a spruce up by jim!
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July 1, 2005 8:33pm
Craig Ranapia

Photoshop? Try ‘You Looko Betta with Weta!’ And if anyone sends the National front bench down High Street for an Xtreme(-ly Stupid) Makeover I’ll kill them all. Slowly. With a teaspoon and copious amounts of salt.
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July 1, 2005 8:46pm
S Heath

They ran out of time to photoshop her teeth this time.
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July 1, 2005 9:40pm
phil u

and your illustrious leaders are don brash..gerry brownlee..and rodney hide..and you are making disparaging comments about clarks’ physical appearance..cor!.

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 1, 2005 10:03pm
Whaleoil

Yeah Phil, but at least they don’t forge art or photos of themselves.
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July 1, 2005 10:09pm
phil u

sigh..still with the forged art, eh?…

and clark photo-shopped her own photo and sent it off to australian womans weekly, eh?..

bit lame really..eh whale..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 1, 2005 10:15pm
ZenTiger

David: AL is not Adolf and vice versa. And I’m not either of them, despite some far fetched theories.

Airbrushing seems to be SOP nowadays. And do you really think less of Sports Illustrated for condoning the practice?

No, the trick is to get Brash out there, sleeves rolled up, 6 pack abs hinted under the whirt shirt, one bulging arm having lifted a Holden Kingswood and the other replacing the front left tyre, grateful blonde bombshell still sitting in the front seat looking on in adoration.

The lost art of oneupmanship.
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July 1, 2005 10:21pm
Craig Ranapia

Phil –

No, sweetie. I’ve said more than once I actually used to respect Helen Clark when she didn’t give the proverbial toss about looking like the arsehole of a constipated cat. I guess that was a simpler and more naive age when women (and most of the men) in politics had a little more dignity and self respect; when people were occasionally trusted to give a damn about ideas, and not treated like brain-damaged children who can be stilled with pretty pictures.

And please spare me the canting outrage – with the amount of personal abuse you throw around the blogisphere (and direct at women on the right) I’d rather listen to a morals lecture from Rev. Capill.
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July 1, 2005 10:53pm
phil u

um craig, can i repeat that most probably australian womens weekly did the photoshop..not helen herself (after a busy day at parliament)..got that now..?

“..And please spare me the canting outrage..”

oh well, if pointing out that possibly the best the mothers of brash, brownlee and hide could say of the fruit of their loins is that they are homely is canting outrage..so be it..

“.. with the amount of personal abuse you throw around the blogisphere (and direct at women on the right)..”
um, any examples..?..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 1, 2005 11:05pm
jeffry

I never thought before that in downunder there is a strong woman leader like her. Not so many women in the world can achieve such leading position. But why? How come?
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July 2, 2005 12:03am
Gaz

She looks good with a goatee and devil horns too.
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July 2, 2005 12:09am
Liz

I hate helen clark with a passion, but this picture almost makes her look human. She must have been air brushed hugely for this to happen.
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July 2, 2005 12:40am
tim barclay

She looks nothing like this. What the public see night after night on TV is this frumpy woman with towel dried hair, not this sexy one that looks years younger than she is. Maybe the Labour Party think a sexy image of the PM after all these years will sell her.
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July 2, 2005 7:51am
Craig Ranapia

PhilU –

Let’s add disingenuous to your personality profile. You wrote: “an i repeat that most probably australian womens weekly did the photoshop..not helen herself.”

Wow, no shit Sherlock! No, Clark merely agreed to be turned into PM Barbie (again) by a “team of Australian stylists” to “reveal the woman nobody knows”. Or did the AWW drug Clark and make her over while she was looking the other way?

This bullshit pissed me off when Jenny Shipley did it; and as I said above, if Don Brash gets tricked out in World Man and does a similarly dumbed-down spread I’ll be equally contemptuous.

The sad thing is that if this is how Clark thinks you appeal to women (or if she’s right), it doesn’t say much about anyone concerned. It certainly says volumes about how dumbed-down and trivial our political and media culture has become.
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July 2, 2005 8:41am
gazzadelsud

Craig, you are of course completely right, but don’t waste your breath arguing with Phul, he only comes here because he gets lonely on his own blog – he’s just trolling for business

Its a bit of a shame really, cos he really does put so much time and effort into it, and for so little return.

and…cor!…as … for…u …phul….(!)

did….you….really….think…Clark….DIDNT… plan out…the whole shoot/….as an attempt to …”connnect”….with the little people?

“..got that now?:”..
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July 2, 2005 8:53am
phil u

craig..don and gerry and rod for bodyshots in a muscle-mag..?

a music video..doing a duet..?(title suggestions welcome..)

btw..astonishing levels of personal vitriol towards clark ..eh?…very schoolyardish..eh?

esp with the pug-ugly fucks you’ve got running your gigs..(oops..sorry,just got caught up in the general theme/moment there..i actually meant homely..ahem)

i mean, wtf has a persons physical attributes/or lack of them got to do with the political ideas they espouse..(have you never been fortunate enough to meet anyone who dazzles on a verbal or intellectual level..and in doing so proves to you what really matters..

gazz..same old , same old, eh?

(i think i’ll downgrade the assesment from schoolyardish to infantile..sort of at the nyah, nyah, nyah level of debate..eh?..)

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 2, 2005 9:24am
gazzadelsud

yeah whatever phul, up to your usual level of insightful analysis i see

run along now
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July 2, 2005 9:32am
phil u

that’d be game set and match then gazz..?

defending the indefensible is difficult..eh..?

cheerio…off to soccer now..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 2, 2005 10:05am
Adolf Fiinkensein

Is there any truth to the rumour that after September there will be a withdrawal of social welfare benefits from those fit to blog all day but not fit enough to work?
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July 2, 2005 10:43am
mara

I have always thought it a “kiwi” trait,that men who fancy a particular bird,tend to disparage her publicly in order that other men don’t see her special qualities and steal her away from him.
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July 2, 2005 11:36am
Krimsonlake

Phil u is right they’re all bloody woofers if you ask me. There’s no denying it. Look at those triple Labour/National/Act billboards, it’s an advertisement for ugly. No amount of photoshop would fix any of their mug shots.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being ugly, but to have people like Brash and Hide attacking Helen for her mature dyke look is hilarious.
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July 2, 2005 11:43am
ZenTiger

Mugabe is no looker, but the ICC want to kiss his arse. It’s not how you look, its how attractive you make something appear. No wonder he is demolishing the shanty towns. Zimbabwe looks more prosperous already.

Oops, sorry, off topic again.

Phil U has a point, attack the marketing tactics the people use, not the people themselves. I’ve had a bash at that with “Hear Me Roar” post at Sir Humphreys. On the edge – yes. Maybe some-one can improve it?
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July 2, 2005 11:59am
Megs

Hmmmm… everyone seems to have forgotten that there is a very fine female politician who requires zero airbrushing (and indeed looks like her photo spreads)… Katherine Rich.

Has anyone actually seen the full Clark spread… I’m pretty sure that the mag has put her in a semi-see-through top in one them… eeek.

And, just for the record. Many of us females on the right are more than happy to present the full package (at the appropriate times) of having brains and beauty!

Has anyone noted the line in the mag article where Clark says she couldn’t have got to where she is today if she’d had children (hmmmm… and this is the proponent of the Working Families package… interesting).
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July 2, 2005 1:28pm
phil u

quite appropriate and telling that clark climbs mountains for fun..

meg..yes, for those demi-gods doubly blessed, life can indeed be sweet..

but there is nothing sadder than a physically beautiful person, with no brain..they are invariably very confused..you sort of look at them and go “huh, what a waste..”
you almost feel like poking them with stick to see if there is any life..

so, if its an either or..i’ll have the brains please..

but of course both is best..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 2, 2005 3:25pm
baxter

The photo is as genuine as the painting she sold and as true as the lies she told about Doonegate and the reasons for the release of the findings of spygate…For all that, it is good politics, and I agree with Specter the National Front men need all the professional appearance help they can get.
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July 2, 2005 4:05pm
phil u

baxter..broken record..baxter ..broken record..baxter ..broken record..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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July 2, 2005 4:23pm
David Farrar

Paula – when has Dr Brash ever commented on Clark’s appearance?

Megs incidentially is one of those with both brains and beauty – except for maths problems when pregnant 🙂
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July 2, 2005 4:35pm
Krimsonlake

Sorry DPF, I admit I don’t recall Brash personally attacking Helen for being a dog. You’ve got me there. But people who represent his politics most definitely do, so it reflects on him, unfortunately.

Does that mean Rodney Hide has attacked her looks? Bahaha. I would hope not.

Personally I understand why in jest we attack how our opponents look, but coming from a political angle no side has a leg to stand on because all the party leaders are a little challenged in that particular area. Winston excluded, he’s not too bad in the looks department.
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July 2, 2005 5:50pm
Craig Ranapia

Krimsonlake:

Well, back in the 90’s I knew a Labourite who habitually called Jenny Shipley “that fat f***ing c**t”. I think that reflected on a very ugly-minded individual, not Clark or the Labour Party.
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July 2, 2005 6:33pm
phil u

craig said..”..back in the 90’s I knew a Labourite who habitually called Jenny Shipley “that fat f***ing c**t”. I think that reflected on a very ugly-minded individual..”

craig said about clark..”..looking like the arsehole of a constipated cat..”

nuff said..?

phil(Whoar.co.nz)
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July 2, 2005 7:24pm
Krimsonlake

Craig: So tit for tat? With a little extra venom, because people do seem to crow about her looks incessently.

It was Shipley’s voice that drove me batty. And that stupid ‘social responsibility’ questionaire she wasted government money on.
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July 2, 2005 7:33pm
Megs

Believe me it’s not just math problems I struggle with at the moment, the joys of having a one-track mind.

It is curious that so many of us think about the ‘looks’ of politicians when really their looks determine little (if anything) about how they will govern. Saying that, we all make judgments every day about a person based on how they look.

Off topic I know but the rugby is damn good (I’m watching at home having sent hubby off to the actual game – excellent for brownie points)
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July 2, 2005 7:38pm
David

I’ve had a go at a revised red/blue National Party billboards. The result isn’t on my blog, which is non political, but here…

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/295/3636/1024/NewHelen.jpg

Sorry I’m so shite with PhotoShop 🙁
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July 2, 2005 8:00pm
Craig Ranapia

Phil U:

Sweetie, I certainly think ‘enough said’ if you’re going to engage in blatant Dowding.

First, I find calling any woman a c**t totally unacceptable.

Second, if you actually want to cite your extremely selective quote in full context it was actually quite complimentary of Clark. “I’ve said more than once I actually used to respect Helen Clark when she didn’t give the proverbial toss about looking like the arsehole of a constipated cat.” She’s not a raving beauty – neither am I, come to that – but there was a time when she wasn’t interested in playing the image game.

I wish there were a lot more politicians like that today.
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July 2, 2005 8:37pm
TheProphet

Megs – Pity you’re already married , anyone that send their husband to that rugby game I would like to marry. I’m married to so its just a temporary net fantasy but WHAT A GAME.

Isn’t this all about the touch up more than the original product.
Phil – you’re naive in the extreme to think that Helen (or a staff member) didn’t give the OK for which photo’s were used after very obviously being touched up to max.
HC doe’s not look like that.
Spin,spin,spin.

Allah protect us.
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July 3, 2005 12:08am
Shawn

“btw..astonishing levels of personal vitriol towards clark ..eh?…very schoolyardish..eh?”

No. Very justified. The women and her vile government deserve any abuse anyone can think up.
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July 3, 2005 1:19am
sally

I was in the shop of clothes designer ‘Andrea Moore’on Friday, whose velvet top is featured in the photo of our Dear Leader. The shop assisant was proudly showing the photo spread to the half-dozen female customers, our unnanimous howls of derisive laughter filled the shop and we all commented on what a hoot it was having the Dear Leader trying to desperatley connect with Mrs/Miss Average in a pathetic and patronising gesture, especially since the content of the Womans mags is un-PC territory to Wimmin in the Labour Party.

Because of my gob-smacked astonishment of Dear Leader in her photo spread, I forgot to read in the mag’ wether Helen submitted her favourite Pavlova with Sour Grapes recipe or her ‘Household Hints’ on how to get art paint stains off her hands, or her hilarious recall in the ‘Mere Male’ column of our Peter Doone got himself in bother. I can’t wait for her Election predictions in the ‘Psychic’ column either.

FYI – the featured velvet top is over $500 for Mrs/Miss Average to purchase. C’mon Helen, what’s wrong with a natty little frock from where your average Labour Party voting gal would go for price-concious fashion shopping eg The Warehouse/Farmers/Glassons?
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July 3, 2005 11:45pm
Nathan

Awesome pic if you ask me, go you good thing.
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July 5, 2005 3:58pm
Nathan

Awesome pic if you ask me, go you good thing.
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July 5, 2005 4:02pm

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