The Muppet Show

Red Confectionary has the text of an amusing pamphlet dropped around Vic over the weekend.  It’s called a year in the rear and covers all the antics of the VUWSA Executive.  As someone has noted, the Salient staff are spoilt by getting so many easy stories!

Some extracts:

Education Vice President Joel Cosgrove set the standard straight away this year, making a lone stand against Prime-minister Helen Clark and her Australian counterpart John Howard in the first week of class. After screaming angrily at the two Prime-ministers, Cosgrove had to be restrained by police. That wasn’t enough for the Education Vice-President however, who then proceeded to place the eighty-three year old University Games Shield on Trade Me with the help of former President Nick Kelly. At just one dollar it would’ve been the bargain of the year if the university management hadn’t stepped in.

By the end of March Clubs Officer Melissa Barnard was making a name for herself as well. In an interesting interview, Barnard expressed the view that the new student hostel was preferable to ‘students paying $130 to live in an arsef**k flat in f**ken arsef**kville.’ Later in the week she was again in trouble after screaming death threats at Activities Officer Bernard-Bernard Galaxy.