Dim-Post: John Key Watches Third Season of Lost; National Surges in Polls

The Dim-Post gives us another edition:

John Key Watches Third Season of Lost; National Surges in Polls

Wednesday December 21, 2007

The results of the latest Dim-Post/U Will Kneelsoon polls show a strong surge for the National Party and place National leader John Key neck and neck with Helen Clark for preferred Prime Minister.

Transferred to seats in Parliament the National Party would be able to govern alone, a result that has delighted Key and his deputy leader Bill English.

‘John has been putting in a lot of hard work and that’s obviously paying off,’ English told the Dim-Post. ‘He’s been walking his dog, clocked the new Half-Life episode and he’s also watched an entire season of Lost on DVD this week alone. It’s been a tremendous effort.’

Key attributed recent successes to the strength of his team. ‘I couldn’t have done it without Murray [McCully] who walked up Molesworth St and rented me the DVD, or Simon [Power] who figured out how to play movies on my laptop. This is an amazing group of people and I’m proud to be their leader.’

Independent political analyst David Farrar credited the decision to watch Lost as the crucial factor behind Keys massive rise in popularity.

‘I think that voters respond to decisive leadership and the decision to watch Lost was obviously the right one,’ Farrar said. Any clear-thinking impartial observer would have to agree that John Keys’ flawless political instincts are almost God-like while a unbiased and objective analysis of the polling data suggests that Helen Clark secretly drowns kittens.’

The National Leader is understood to have watched all twenty one epsiodes of the show in under four days. Senior National sources indicated that Key also viewed some episodes more than once and spent significant time studying background details while the show was paused. He has also spent time on the internet fan site ‘LostPedia’.

‘The final episodes of season three left many unanswered riddles,’ Key told National party MPs at an improptu game of lawn cricket yesterday afternoon. ‘Who is Jacob and what was all that weird powder outside his cabin? How does Desmond’s girfriend Penny tie into what’s on the Island? And who was in the coffin at the funeral Jack attended? The Prime Minister cannot answer any of these questions, either because she doesn’t know or she doesn’t care. The people of New Zealand deserve better than that.’

‘Also what about that thing with Sawyer’s Father,’ Key added. ‘That was intense.’

Key denied that his decision to sit around in his bathrobe watching TV all day was a calculated political move. ‘Unlike the Labour Party, National is not poll driven,’ he said. ‘I am not catching up on my sleep and hosting Battlestar Galactica marathons because of polling data. I’m doing these things because I feel they are the right things to do.’

Talking of Battlestar Galactica, a few of us have been doing a Season Three marathon – this series is one of the best on TV – period. I’ve already watched Season Three when it aired in the US, but now am watching it again on DVD.  Season Four starts in early 2008 and will be the final season.

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