Am in Melbourne, and we are sharing a two bedroom apartment. As all good mates do, we routinely greet each other with terms of affection such as f***wit, c**t etc.

Yesterday I had headed back early, and was alone. Heard someone opening the door (they did not knock) so assumed it was the ginga and as the door opened yelled out “F*** Off C***”.

The hotel staffer asks if this is an inconvenient time to check the mini-bar, as I profusely apologise and explain my comments were not meant to be directed at him!

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