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May 4, 2011 9:50am by David Farrar

A John Key prunciation guide

This is superb. Not sure who did it, but well done.

Hat Tip: Brian Edwards

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Comment51

Humour
NZ Politics
Humour
John Key
You Tube

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Comments (51)

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Manolo

Not far from the truth. Key’s enunciation is atrocious.
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May 4, 2011 9:53am
smttc

When he talks to the media, he is natural and okay. When he makes a speech, he sounds wooden and his allocution and pronunciation go out the window.
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May 4, 2011 10:01am
lofty

Bloody funny , made me laugh prior to a very serious meeting in 20 minutes. I don’t feel so wound up now.
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May 4, 2011 10:13am
ciaron

Yeah, youtube subtitles and the New Zilnd accent don’t really gel…
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May 4, 2011 10:17am
lyndon

We had an American working in the office recently; she said John Key had the thickest NZ accent she’d heard.
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May 4, 2011 10:34am
magic bullet

“We had an American working in the office recently; she said John Key had the thickest NZ accent she’d heard.”

yeah – and Key has spent over half his adult life outside of NZ. Like many of his apparent “common touch” qualities, his thick accent is actually just over-done affectation. It’s quite painful to see once you start to watch out for it. The John Key that we know is a creation of the PR industry, not a REAL, well-rounded person.

Presumably the “common touch” side of brand Key was designed to counter the perception that he’s an out-of-touch banker with $60 million worth of assets. Pretty cunning really.

[DPF: you really are paranoid you know.]
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May 4, 2011 10:42am
DT

Hilarious!
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May 4, 2011 10:55am
thedavincimode

Never mind bullet. I’m sure that if he ever contemplates his self-made success, he won’t get to upset about his pronounciation. What will upset you when you contemplate your own life of non-achievement and petulant small-minded envy?
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May 4, 2011 10:55am
Manolo

… the “common touch” side of brand Key was designed to counter the perception that he’s an out-of-touch banker with $60 million worth of assets.

Ah, the unstoppable and undeniable sense of envy from the left!
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May 4, 2011 10:57am
Murray

Meanwhile the in-touch left of New Zealand still soiling their nappies over the killing of a terrorist.

Hey mb word puzzle for you: life – a – get.
Rearrange to get the special message just for you.
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May 4, 2011 10:58am
magic bullet

TeDiuM –

I’ more concerned about the future of the country, than what John Key thinks about himself. to be honest. In any case, if you define the success of your life as being relative to other people’s affluence and status you’re endorsing a oneupmanship existential philosophy which can only result in a global tragedy of the commons (no you will not solve collective global environmental problems by using property rights as per the original tragedy of the commons). Like it or not, humble people are essential to everyone’s ongoing well being.
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May 4, 2011 11:08am
jaba

magic bullet .. what a tosser
I assume you think Julia Gillard should NOT be a PM of Aust due to her accent or appalling droning voice.
JK looks and sounds far better than a previous PM who had a MASSIVE image problem. It never stopped her from being, what the left call, the greatest PM NZ has ever had .. choke.
all the Labour wankers have is a deep desire to attack their opposites be it their speech or their age .. goodness me.
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May 4, 2011 11:09am
Auberon

Absolutely brilliant. I expect he’ll love it.
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May 4, 2011 11:11am
magic bullet

Sorry my rightist peeps but i will not censor what i see as the truth for you, or any one else for that matter. If you can’t see that Key’s common touch media persona is affectation then i despair for your naivety.
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May 4, 2011 11:19am
nasska

magic bullet

You’re not paranoid….look under the bed. The capitalists ARE there & they’re out to get you!
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May 4, 2011 11:54am
thedavincimode

“Like it or not, humble people are essential to everyone’s ongoing well being.”

Really mb? I can’t say that I’ve ever regarded humble people as the footstools for the rest of society. You mean kind of like worker bees or something??

My experience of life is that humble people, rich or poor, tend to have high self-awareness and don’t feel the need to brag of their own success or envy the success of others. They tend to be quite comfortable in themselves.

Whereas people who are envious, petulant or derisory of the success of others, in whatever from that may be, tend to lack self-awareness and the ability to address their own shortcomings that are impediments to them enjoying the achievement to which they aspire.

Interesting theory you have though. But as for Key’s pronounciation being an affectation. Good grief, why would anyone do THAT to themselves?
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May 4, 2011 11:56am
RRM

Ahh, the undercut.

Haven’t seen one of those for a while.
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May 4, 2011 12:00pm
Manolo

Comrade magic, if you hate capitalism so much, why don’t you emigrate to a socialist paradise, say Cuba? What is stopping you from moving to a society which embraces the ideology you love so much?

It couldn’t be that you and people of your ilk find it easier to criticise the system from whitin, from the comfortable position you have in it, could it?
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May 4, 2011 12:01pm
Viking2

Manolo (4,012) Says:
May 4th, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Comrade magic, if you hate capitalism so much, why don’t you emigrate to a socialist paradise, say Cuba? What is stopping you from moving to a society which embraces the ideology you love so much?

Nah, can’t afford the air fare or even a broken down boat so he just will never leave. Sad bastard really
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May 4, 2011 12:37pm
magic bullet

I’ve got a band. We’re called “The NACT!” We gotta song called Dianne Forearm. I think, as the front man i’ll dress as Brash, with one of those dorky politician’s masks you can get – i figure this makes sense seeing as Key and Brash probably have the same backers anyhow.

Read these lyrics along to the following song: tell me what you think.

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Miss Forarm?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin’ off the Diane Forearm
Always getting stuck,
taking calls on the business line
Gotta get get it up,
get it up, just one more time

My my my i yi woo. M M M My Miss Forearm

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look at my tie Miss Forearm
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs Miss Forearm
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Miss Forearm

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Miss Forearm
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or are you just a business client Miss Forearm
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Miss Forarm!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1T71PGd-J0&feature=related
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May 4, 2011 1:59pm
lofty

Confirmation::: as we have always suspected bullet is a child, somewhat gifted in its spelling and general comprehension but still a child.

Me I am still smiling after 3 hours of meetings.
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May 4, 2011 2:05pm
magic bullet

I guess k-blog isn’t exactly the audience we’re going for anyhow. Thanks for having a sense of humour lofty.
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May 4, 2011 2:23pm
magic bullet

“DPF: you really are paranoid you know”

Nah just studied up good on you guys. Anyhow, you’re a Nat pollster, and the last person i’d go to for an unbiased opinion re Key’s public persona.

[DPF: I seriously think you should seek help. It can’t be healthy to be that paranoid.]
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May 4, 2011 2:44pm
wreck1080

An orator he is not.

I cringe every time I Key talks. He needs lessons , fast.
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May 4, 2011 3:35pm
Dazzaman

Double speak. I knew it.
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May 4, 2011 4:47pm
joana

Yes Wreck ,
I don’t know why he doesn’t get help. There used to be excellent speech teachers in Wellington. It is much more than just a NZ accent.. It is endless mispronunciations.
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May 4, 2011 6:07pm
Manolo

There used to be excellent speech teachers in Wellington.

There still are. Lindsay Perigo could teach him how to pronounce and enunciate correctly. 🙂
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May 4, 2011 6:10pm
kiwi in america

magic
Me thinks you’re really a masochist. You’re getting owned on thread after thread. At least you communiicate in whole sentences and don’t have a faulty …. key like a fellow lefty who I’m assuming is still banned.
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May 4, 2011 6:55pm
magic bullet

Since when was it loony to point out that Key is a focus-grouped composite? All he does is smile and wave, so you’d expect him to have invested quite a bit of time training for the role he is playing. We know that crosby textor, and various other PR firms are used by National to develop ways of selling policy, so why not ways of selling Brand Key? I just don’t see why it’s a controversial claim given that he talks like Lynn of Tawa – and her accent was an affectation. It was supposed to be a parody of the New Zealand accent. Key’s voice is also a parody. He’s attached brand Key to a “NewZealandness” in every way the PR team can think of (Green stone suit etc) The phoney voice is just a part of that. It’s about getting New Zealanders to identify with you. It’s very shrewd politics.
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May 4, 2011 7:07pm
Put it away

magic bullet once again you answer entirely from your imagination, and once again you get destroyed by the facts. I don’t know why I’m even bothering to answer such a prima facie fucktarded claim, but look up the TVNZ doco on currency traders from 1987 that happens to include Key http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/close-up-big-dealers-john-key-1987 , and you’ll see his accent is the same as it’s ever been.

[DPF: Don’t you go bring facts into this. If Magic bullet insists that John Key really has an American accent and Haliburton trained him to hide it, who are we to argue]
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May 4, 2011 7:25pm
Dazzaman

The phoney voice is just a part of that. It’s about getting New Zealanders to identify with you. It’s very shrewd politics.

Um, no. It’s just the way he speaks…nice try getting THAT conspiracy theory off the ground though. Ha!

’tis the season for them though…
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May 4, 2011 7:28pm
magic bullet

PIA – thanks for that. Key’s accent in that doco doesn’t sound at all like Lynn of Tawa’s. Current-day focus-grouped Key is definitely more in the “Lynn of Tawa” mould.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT7mupw8QXY

He dumbs himself down a lot when he talks as well.
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May 4, 2011 7:37pm
Put it away

Once again reality doesn’t matter at all for Magic Bullet.
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May 4, 2011 7:42pm
magic bullet

No i think you’re missing the point PIA. When he did the letterman show, he put his American accent back on. He’s a chameleon – an impersonator, “the invisible man who’s always changing clothes” as one word-smith put it. Call him an “indigo child” – comfortable anywhere, at home nowhere.
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May 4, 2011 7:57pm
Put it away

mb you are just nuts. Why just make something up that anyone can see is bullshit just by going to youtube ? Hint – search john key letterman, if it’s too complicated for you to find. Nothing american about his accent at all in that appearance. Once again, reality is irrelevant to you and you just invent an argument in your imagination.
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May 4, 2011 8:22pm
magic bullet

Rubbish PIA – you’re either being mischievous, or you’re in denial. It’s patently obvious.
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May 4, 2011 8:25pm
Put it away

Magic Bullet you should seek psychiatric help, if you actually believe the things you say on here.
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May 4, 2011 8:30pm
magic bullet

You know, it could just be that the kiwibblog right aren’t very normal as people. I’ve seen an amazing amount of denial exhibited by people on this web site. Some like KIA are sly and wilful about it, but i fear many others are just rabidly right, quite naive and simple people. Key takes advantage of that simple minded naivety in the provincial centres, which are National strongholds. Sad really.
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May 4, 2011 8:38pm
Put it away

Just nuts. I actually think you can’t help saying the opposite of the truth on every issue. Like some odd personality problem that makes you feel clever and creative by inventing something different to that boring old reality that the simple people see.
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May 4, 2011 8:41pm
magic bullet

” I actually think you can’t help saying the opposite of the truth on every issue. ”

I actually think you just can’t handle cognitive dissonance. Several scientific studies have shown that it’s a big problem with rightists.
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May 4, 2011 8:46pm
magic bullet

Have a look through these articles and you’ll see what i mean.

http://scholar.google.co.nz/scholar?q=cognitive+dissonance+conservative+liberal&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart
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May 4, 2011 8:50pm
magic bullet

Rightists can’t accept the truth if it clashes with their core values system. They are scared of change. It’s a primitive response in the Hominid brain, which serves the purpose of encouraging routine – but the world is changing too fast now, so it’s less relevant than it was in our hunter gatherer past…

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201104/conservatives-big-fear-brain-study-finds
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May 4, 2011 8:56pm
Put it away

MB your solution to your own cognitive dissonance is to completely throw away those jarring notes of reality that clash with what you want to be true, and just live in your imagination, where everythign agrees with you. I know you will never be convinced of anythign by reasoning and facts, I only respond to your nonsense for the benefit of any sane bystanders that might be interested. Since no one else is in this thread, there is no point talking to you.
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May 4, 2011 8:57pm
magic bullet

I’m fine with cognitive dissonance. It’s what happens when you’re a liberal realist. The world is a complicated and confusing place, but not everyone’s brain is capable of dealing with it. Paticularly those of the conservative ilk. i just think well-intentioned, simple-minded right-wing folk are getting taken for a ride by the PR-manufactured city slicker. Sorry to point this out. I can see that it’s painful for you.
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May 4, 2011 9:14pm
magic bullet

I’d also like to point out that this guy’s, quite superbly nuanced representation of Key, is supposed to give the impression that he is the plastic tiki of NZ prime ministers. A kind of overwrought, painfully-crass characatured version of the modern kiwi male.

This is part of the role that humour plays in society. It crystallises uncomfortable or “latently conscious” truths in the public domain, in a way that is socially acceptable. When we feel the impulse to laugh, it suspends our rational critical faculties, so information that would usually be thrown out as “against my politics” can be absorbed. This performer understands that role. He knows that much of the laughter he receives is derived from the uncomfortable realisation that he is right about Key. So he gets a “cringe response” kind of laughter and also a – hahaha! how clever! kind of laugher at the same time.
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May 5, 2011 6:38am
thedavincimode

mb, I really think that you ought to confront some of the negatives in your life and then be very honest with yourself about what YOU can do to change them and why it is that others around you, at work or wherever, have achieved whatever success you seek but cannot find. You will then have something positive to work on and will feel a much person for it.
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May 5, 2011 7:06am
magic bullet

TeDiuM – doesn’t right wing orthodoxy hold that every individual is the best judge of their own needs? Or are you now admitting that the rational consumer model of society is bunkim, and it makes sense to encourage good choices and discourage bad ones? If so, i congratulate you on joining reality.
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May 5, 2011 7:48am
magic bullet

Another instructive quote that comes to mind:

…….You think you know what brings me down,
when you want those things i could never allow,
when you see me smile, and you think it’s a frown,
turned upside down….
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May 5, 2011 7:52am
thedavincimode

I am just telling you what I think. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. I think my advice well help you become a happier person. That comment wasn’t directed at bringing you down but rather at lifting you up. I don’t have to dump on you in order to feel better about myself. I don’t care if you don’t take my advice. Its over to you. Your frail tilt at trying to juxtapose my comments with so called right wing orthodoxy is so wide of the mark it just isn’t rational.
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May 5, 2011 8:12am
magic bullet

More cognitive dissonance and denial from TeDiuM. Surprise, surprise…
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May 5, 2011 8:28am
David Cairns

Hahaha love it. Gotta love the kiwi accent.
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May 25, 2011 1:55pm

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