NZ leads the world

March 14th, 2010 at 10:30 am by David Farrar

According to a global survey on market research website onepoll.com, New Zealand women are the most sexually experienced in the world, with an average of 20.4 sexual partners in a lifetime, more than any other nationality.

Comedian Michele A’Court thinks the findings prove New Zealand women are more honest than those in other countries.

In the US, for example, some young women proudly proclaim their virginity, despite engaging in non-penetrative sex acts, she says. “Without making myself sound like a slapper, my initial reaction is that 20.4 doesn’t sound like a huge amount over a lifetime.”

20 is quite a bit more than Cactus Kate’s number and quite a bit less than Busted Blonde’s!

Society has changed massively in the last 30 years. Women used to not go to university, work for a few years, marry their first or second boyfriend in their early 20s and start popping out kids.

Now far more women than men go to university, and are career focused. I’d say the same proportion still want kids, but not until the early to mid 30s – and generally one or two only.

And this reflects in relationships also. As the baby age has got older, the marrying age has changed from 20ish to 30ish. And in that extra ten years of singledom, a couple of different bonks a year isn’t a huge deal.

Sexologist Dr Michelle Mars puts the result down to the failings of Kiwi blokes.

“New Zealand men aren’t very good at picking up women unless they’re really drunk. So what tends to happen is in New Zealand, women are just as likely to ask men to have sex as men are to ask women.

Heh, Australian women are even more, umm, assertive.

“While a lot of people would read that statistic quite negatively, I think it’s quite a positive. It’s more of a gender balance in people getting the kind of sex they want.”

Former gossip columnist Bridget Saunders, who is writing a book on bad sex, believes New Zealand women are “incredibly sexually active” and is worried by the trend.

“A lot of it is to do with the new ‘ladette’ culture,” she says. “It’s almost like wanting to be one of the boys, or to be more like one of the boys than the boys are themselves.”

One sees the ladette culture, in more than just the bedroom. Go to a rugby match – once they were 90% male spectators, and now there are huge numbers of female fans.

Society used to teach young men and women to have very different expectations in life. Women’s job was to get married and have kids, and men’s job is to get a good job and by the family provider. Men with multiple partners were studs and women were sluts. Men were seen as more suited to higher education, and women were not.

I think one of the best things about living in today’s world, as opposed to in the past, has been the increasing equality of women. WWII started the cultural change, and it has been for the better – even if some people don’t like the fact that women are catching up to men in the bedroom stakes – not just the education and work stakes.

Tags: New Zealand, sex, women

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96 Responses to “NZ leads the world”

big bruv (11,207) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:35 am
” New Zealand women are the most sexually experienced in the world,”

Bloody hard to believe really when Kiwi women are also the least feminine and worst dressed in the world.
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RKBee (1,344) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:38 am
According to a global survey on market research website (that I cant find) New Zealanders are the most gullible and scammed people on earth.
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George Patton (300) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:39 am
And DPF makes the point of the day thus:

“even if some people don’t like the fact that women are catching up to men in the bedroom stakes – not just the education and work stakes.”

Womens lib, the emancipation of women, whatever you want to call it, has been an extraordinary positive thing for western society. We are more productive, more aware/cultured and more even-handed in our work and everyday lives. We therefore can not mourn the sexual equalisation of women as they too seek the easier sexual morals of men just as they seek higher paying and more powerful jobs than clerical/secretarial and teaching careers.
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Pete George (17,596) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:42 am
Number of partners does not necessarily equate to sexual experience. It’s possible to gain very good experience with one partner. It does depend on what meaning of “experience” is used – I guess chalking up a number of drunken night out bonks is experience, of sorts.
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wat dabney Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:48 am
“The HoS reports:”

There’s an ‘e’ in “hoes”
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Fletch (4,314) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:49 am
I don’t think that is something to be proud of.
It is sad that sex is separated out from love – a temporary pleasure, like having a beer or something, and the partner to be discarded the next morning like a used condom. It’s no wonder society is what it is like. Teens do want more though, as evidenced by an article a few weeks back in the Herald-

Sex education is too much about the mechanics of sex and not enough about relationships, the Families Commission says. An issues paper published by the commission yesterday says the health education curriculum is sound, officially covering relationship skills as well as sex. But it quotes high school students who say they learn little about relationships in practice.

“The teacher gets a condom, gives a demonstration on how to use it, but they don’t talk about the emotional side,” one group of Wellington teens said. “They tell us you have sex, get pregnant or you get Aids and die. They don’t teach how to deal with a breakup.”

Therein lies the problem. Sex has been reduced down to mechanics and being safe. Sex used to be called the act of “making love”, but love doesn’t enter into it much these days. Instead man has invented ways of circumventing nature by blocking the sperm, stuffing around with the woman’s womb using chemicals, or killing an unwanted baby; all so we can have all the fun we want with none of the responsibility.

And we wonder why half of all marriages fail, relationships break up, and of the violence between partners and ex-partners.

You think you can stuff with nature, but you can’t. I remember the lyrics of a Joni Mitchell song –

If you’re smart or rich or lucky
Maybe you’ll beat the laws of man
But the inner laws of spirit
And the outer laws of nature
No man can

Sex has become disposable, and therefore, so have people.
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Patrick Starr (3,673) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:52 am
It’s true , NZ – home of the no elastic womens underwear.

……mind you I’ve met a few that are responsible for raising the national average
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Chthoniid (1,912) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:53 am
I always feel skeptical about these surveys, especially when I know little of the sampling approach?

Was this an online survey that invited the web to participate, or part of a properly screened, sample based survey?

How many kiwi women answered the survey? What were their demographic properties? How reliable are the numbers?
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andrei (2,064) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Now far more women than men go to university, and are career focused. I’d say the same proportion still want kids, but not until the early to mid 30s – and generally one or two only.

Now far more women than men go to university, and are career focused. I’d say the same proportion still want kids, but not until the early to mid 30s – and generally one or two only.

Which begs the question where do the next generation come from? Since “one or two only” the population does not replace the whole problem becomes one of demographics – to use a modern buzzword “unsustainable”.

In reality New Zealand is just maintaining the birthrate required to maintain its population but it is because of the fertility rate amongst those who hang their offspring from clotheslines – that demographic who some would encourage to be sterilized.
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side show bob (3,660) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Hay what gives, where are my other eight women. Do you think if I tell the wife there must be eight women out there not keeping up their averages and I should help out she would agree, no I don’t think so !!!!!!!!!
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:59 am
” I think one of the best things about living in today’s world, as opposed to in the past, has been the increasing equality of women.”

“equality”..?????

Really, has there ever been a word more abused since wimmin started being indoctrinated with the Marxist based idea they needed to break free from their existence as lifelong victims of male “dominance”.

The whole scenario is a sick Progressive fabrication, a poorly scripted play that is only going to play through to a gradual realization that it was all a sad desperate politically motivated farce, and a closing scene full of anguish and bitter regret.
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Fletch (4,314) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:02 am
RB, you’re right.
Equality? It’s man who invented the Pill so he could have more sex without the responsibility of children and they conned women into thinking it gives them freedom. Women have been sucked in badly.
I’m sure men were quite happy when women burned their bras. What a mind-job.
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Yvette (2,419) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Well after the SST exposé on our vulnerability to terrorist attack maybe I feel slightly heartened by this items – perhaps no one will come here seeking paradise and 72 virgins after all.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:12 am
Or it could just be that NZer’s like taking the piss on silly online surveys which have zero statistical credibility.

I’ll go out on a limb and say that the average of 20 is too high. Based unscientifically on my peer group, the majority of whom have been in various long-term relationships for most of the time since leaving uni and most of the rest have been resolutely single. And of course we all know that averages are rubbish. What was the median?

NZ Women; world leaders in taking the piss.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:18 am
It’s man who invented the Pill so he could have more sex without the responsibility of children and they conned women into thinking it gives them freedom. Women have been sucked in badly.

Rubbish. How have we conned women into using the pill? They’re quite smart, you know. A lot of women enjoy sex and they don’t want to wait until they’re married or run the chance of getting pregnant each time.
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reid (13,566) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Former gossip columnist Bridget Saunders, who is writing a book on bad sex, believes New Zealand women are “incredibly sexually active” and is worried by the trend.

“A lot of it is to do with the new ‘ladette’ culture,” she says. “It’s almost like wanting to be one of the boys, or to be more like one of the boys than the boys are themselves.”

Yes, sad to see the feminist poison has so successfully inculcated our women’s psyches.

The poison being of course the notion that in order to be “equal” one must be the same as the boys. Drink the same, think the same, act the same. All of which leads women away from their designed role as child-raisers and transmitters of culture to the next generation. A woman is designed to be actuated by sacrificing herself for her family, a man is designed to be actuated by protecting and providing for his family. If people don’t get that experience in life, they almost always wind up unfulfilled and unhappy. Look around you.

Many otherwise astute people clearly don’t draw this distinction and instead celebrate what they see as a freeing of the bonds of serfdom. This attitude of course is precisely what the architects of feminism want people to think.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:31 am
” A woman is designed to be actuated by sacrificing herself for her family”

That is crap. There is no “sacrifice”. That’s just buying into the false Progressive scenario. Shooting yourself with your own bullets. Nurturing children to adulthood is an inspirational and aspirational mission. Its not the chained to the kitchen drudge the left script it as.
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Pete George (17,596) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Nurturing children to adulthood is an inspirational and aspirational mission. Its not the chained to the kitchen drudge the left script it as.

That’s funny. Does “the right” script say that all women should aspire to cook inspirational meals for their husbands like good subservient wives?
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reid (13,566) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:40 am
“Nurturing children to adulthood is an inspirational and aspirational mission. Its not the chained to the kitchen drudge the left script it as.”

And how do women nuture children to adulthood, RB?

By sacrificing their time and labour for the sake of their children and in times past, also for their husband, back when marriage actually meant something.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Karl Marx on women-

“Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.”

” Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.”
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:41 am
Its not a SACRIFICE you dolt.
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reid (13,566) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:43 am
“Does “the right” script say that all women should aspire to cook inspirational meals for their husbands like good subservient wives?”

Pete you personify the confusion. Psychology is not political. Men and women think differently – feminists fudge that distinction, deliberately.

It’s not a question of submission or domination, it’s a factual question of what actuates people, and whatever that actual answer is, let the chips lie where they fall, don’t for goodness sake, simply chose the answer you prefer to hear.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:45 am
” all women should aspire to cook inspirational meals for their husbands like good subservient wives? ”

Once again, PG demonstrates his shallowness of mind by means of his willingness to utter the tired and meaningless platitudes of the left in place of actually providing fresh information.
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reid (13,566) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:47 am
“Its not a SACRIFICE you dolt.”

RB if you insist on labelling the process as something other than what it is, aren’t you merely committing what we both abhor: propaganda?
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Pete George (17,596) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:50 am
That’s a rhetorical question, isn’t it Reid. You and he both know you are right.

Being a good parent (either gender) means always making some personal sacrifices.

shallowness of mind by means of his willingness to utter the tired and meaningless platitudes of the left in place of actually providing fresh information.

Do you ever see your reflection in your screen while you are typing Red?
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Chthoniid (1,912) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Went to the onepoll.com website.

It’s just an online poll. It has no validity to extrapolating to NZ.
I suspect any digging up of numbers will show that the NZ sample set is very small and biased heavily towards a few women taking the piss out of the survey.
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andrei (2,064) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:55 am
Well chained to a kitchen sink with a husband and children probably beats being chained to the checkout counter in the supermarket or warehouse without either – which of course is the more probable outcome for todays “liberated” woman when she is no longer pretty.

I guess she can sustain herself through the long cold nights with the memories of all those one night stands.

What a con
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:58 am
A woman is designed to be actuated by sacrificing herself for her family…. If people don’t get that experience in life, they almost always wind up unfulfilled and unhappy. Look around you. Many otherwise astute people clearly don’t draw this distinction and instead celebrate what they see as a freeing of the bonds of serfdom.

Reid, so basically you’re saying that the majority of women are too stupid/brainwashed/mislead to figure out what’s best for them and thus make a huge mistake over the course of their life?
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:59 am
” Do you ever see your reflection in your screen while you are typing Red?”

No I don’t PG, becasue its always only your crippled perceptions that project this view, and since when have you, a tired and blinkered old warhorse of the left and totally bereft of any ability to see and comprehend beyond the limited horizon of Progressivism, ever been right about anything??

(You’re arguing for the status quo you commie dumbfuck, so how can you have anything new??)
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RKBee (1,344) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
According to a global survey on market research website (that I cant find) New Zealand drink more alcohol ( binge drinking) per capita than any other country in the World.. Could this be the reason for NZ womans many sexual partners. And that they are most sexually experienced with many drunk men and women to be more honest.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
“I suspect any digging up of numbers will show that the NZ sample set is very small and biased heavily towards a few women taking the piss out of the survey.”

What the hell are you talking about Clint? Its a fact, and its partly down to you and your misguided mission to separate irrational savages from their one link to morality.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
And another of these silly surveys tells us that married people have more sex than unmarried people. So how do we square this circle – well you can’t because these surveys have as much credibility as…. an online survey conducted by a ice-cream maker’s PR firm.
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Short Shriveled and Slightly to the Left (722) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
I dont know if this survey offends me more as a statistician or as someone with much less than 20 sex partners. I still consider myself to be experienced thank you very much. Since I’ve been with the same woman throughout my twenties and have had no dry patches I’d say I’ve got more experience than a bar skank (either male or female). I find it funny that number of partners is equated to sexual experience.
As for the survey methods, Chthoniid has already pointed out the flaws. Even if it isnt some women takng the piss it is still likely to be self selected. No one wants to be the person who answers 0, 1, 2 or 3 in these types of surveys. These types of surveys always use means to boost up the numbers.
What I’d like to see is reporting of stats like these along side STI rates. Some reality would be good.
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reid (13,566) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Reid, so basically you’re saying that the majority of women are too stupid/brainwashed/mislead to figure out what’s best for them and thus make a huge mistake over the course of their life?

Malcolm, where did I say that? I’m simply stating observable reality. If you choose to draw a conclusion from my statement then that’s your conclusion, not mine.

There’s a common saying: “History repeats itself.” Some people don’t know that the full quote is: History repeats itself when you forget it.

If you don’t understand the origins of feminism then you’re unlikely to understand what it does, how it does it and why it does it. That doesn’t make you stupid but it does make you ignorant. And most women and men, are indeed ignorant of the origins of feminism. Hint: it didn’t start in 60′s USA.
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RKBee (1,344) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Your playing into the hands of sensational journalism with this survey DPF… your as bad as the SST and others that thrive of this type of crap.
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Paulus (1,687) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Where would a terrorist jihadist find the required virgins in New Zealand. We are still fairly safe.

Underlying the New zealand situation, which has changed the world, is the invention in 1960′s of the Pill.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Oh what wonderfully progressive explanations to some very ugly statistics.
Time for some honesty me thinks.

The kiwi female is one of the most skanky, nastiest, man hating self loathing creatures on this planet.
The reality is driven home dramatically when you go overseas and see that most women are actually comfortable with being a woman and horrors, actually like men!!
There is no way to “sex” it up DPF, the kiwi female has now been proven to be exactly what all us honest blokes always knew to be true, a black widow spider of a creature that is angry with her vagina.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
# Shunda barunda (987) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Oh what wonderfully progressive explanations to some very ugly statistics.
Time for some honesty me thinks.

The kiwi female is one of the most skanky, nastiest, man hating self loathing creatures on this planet.
The reality is driven home dramatically when you go overseas and see that most women are actually comfortable with being a woman and horrors, actually like men!!
There is no way to “sex” it up DPF, the kiwi female has now been proven to be exactly what all us honest blokes always knew to be true, a black widow spider of a creature that is angry with her vagina.

Wow. Looks like you haven’t scored lately.
Maybe time for some self reflection rather than dishing out blame.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
“Wow. Looks like you haven’t scored lately.
Maybe time for some self reflection rather than dishing out blame.”

I just celebrated my 11th anniversary with one of the few kiwi women that is not like the above, “scoring” aplenty thanks very much.

Don’t lie to yourself eszett, there is a big problem with the way kiwis play the mating game.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
you have to laugh at these comments.

So, here are kiwi women, doing what men have always taken for granted. Enjoying their lives and their sexuality.
It takes two to tango. If they hate men so much why are they sleeping with them? You can’t say they are all lesbians.
And where are they getting all these partners from? Seems like men are happy to help out with their experience.

I have been out a while from the dating game, but I never encountered any of those things that you describe. Then again, I prefer strong and self assertive women, women with ambition.

And that’s the problem with the true blokes. All they are interested is cars, fishing and sports. Funnily enough women want more than that.

There is no problem with kiwi women. Kiwi men just need to grow up and learn how to hold a conversation. Most men who complain about kiwi women can’t just can’t cope with a woman with a brain.
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jaba (1,924) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I wish I had met more of these friendly woman .. looks like I missed out
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Tauhei Notts (1,259) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Escett, Shunda Barunda’s comments are very well spot on the mark.
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Pete George (17,596) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
His comments may be spot on the mark for some kiwi women, but he is well wide of the mark for kiwi women I know.
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wikiriwhis business (1,301) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I find Oz women far more engaging than Kiwi women

they’re more sophisticated and don’t wait for men with ESP

they take the initiative.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
The kiwi female is one of the most skanky, nastiest, man hating self loathing creatures on this planet.

Ooooky. One silly survey (Chthoniid got it in one) and misogynists come to the surface like worms in the rain.
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Angus (535) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
“there is a big problem with the way kiwis play the mating game”

That goes without saying.

http://kiwigirl28.blogspot.com/
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Jeff83 (758) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Got laid last night, was good.

And I prefer my progressive world RB and the rest. If you want to go back in time why not move to a country in the middle east, they share allot more of your “values”.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
“Got laid last night, was good.”

Date with your sister?
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Pauleastbay (3,726) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Reading some of these comments, alot of you lads need to get out and get some of the experience thats out there.

It was a fucking stupid survey and sadly any irony has been lost;

One clue – you will not get fucked sucked and blow dried-sitting around commentating on blogs. (Even though this is a very enjoyable way to spend some time)
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
# Redbaiter (9285) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 7:29 pm

“Got laid last night, was good.”

Date with your sister?

Just because you like to keep it in your family doesn’t mean everyone else has to, Red
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
“So, here are kiwi women, doing what men have always taken for granted. Enjoying their lives and their sexuality.
It takes two to tango. If they hate men so much why are they sleeping with them? ”

The kiwi male has on average 3 sexual partners I believe, and perhaps you need to talk to more women, turns out many of them later don’t see having 20 or so partners as “Enjoying their lives and their sexuality” more like dragging around emotional baggage.

“Ooooky. One silly survey (Chthoniid got it in one) and misogynists come to the surface like worms in the rain.”

Oh right, so because I don’t accept the default man hating hyper feminist as a positive influence on our society I am a misogynist pig.

Perhaps some of us just prefer women that are actually comfortable in their own skin.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Shunda barunda (989) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:10 pm

The kiwi male has on average 3 sexual partners I believe, and perhaps you need to talk to more women, turns out many of them later don’t see having 20 or so partners as “Enjoying their lives and their sexuality” more like dragging around emotional baggage.

Where did you get that number from? 3? Are you serious? You ARE living in a different century.

Here’s a little quote from the 2004 durex sex survey:

“The survey also found that Kiwis have had on average 11.9 partners, which is ahead of the global average of 10.5, the US and UK (10.3), and Canada (9.8). Kiwi males admitted to having had more sexual partners than their female counterparts with 4% saying they have had between 51-100 partners, and 3% saying they have had more than 100 partners. In comparison, only 1% of Kiwi women have had more than 50 partners.”

But such numbers are always to be taken with a grain of salt, especially corporate one.

But to suggest that men have an average of 3 partners in a lifetime and women have 20+ just doesn’t have anything to do with reality.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
“Where did you get that number from? 3? Are you serious? You ARE living in a different century.”

Nope, based on a recent NZ documentary on Kiwi sexuality.
Yes some men screw their brains out (4%) most others don’t.
Many kiwi women on the other hand are having sex with men of all ages. Kiwi women have many more sexual partners than kiwi men.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
“But to suggest that men have an average of 3 partners in a lifetime and women have 20+ just doesn’t have anything to do with reality.”

Maybe not your reality, but it is the sad truth.
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Pauleastbay (3,726) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Seriously guys, dead priests get more action than three in a life time ( no alter boy gags either).

And 20′s fuck all for a woman as well, two a year for 10 years its hardly Wilt Chamberlain territory.

Lies lies and statistics lads.
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dad4justice (7,339) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
What a sick country.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
“Lies lies and statistics lads.”

Well whatever, the fact remains that Kiwi men and women are struggling to couple in a way that doesn’t cause long term emotional baggage from previous sexual experience.
And when they eventually settle down with a mate, they spend the next 20 years projecting all the crap from previous relationships onto each other.
It turns out that mental health is often directly related to how many people you have rubbed genitals with in your youth.
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Pauleastbay (3,726) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Reading comments here suggests there needs to be alot more genital rubbing with other people rather than rubbing their own. We may then see an improvement in mental health
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dad4justice (7,339) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Paul get your filthy mind out of the gutter you sad twit.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
So Paul, you see no problems at all? Talk about head up the razoo.
Shows like Outrageous Fortune would be funny if they weren’t so damned accurate.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
# Shunda barunda (993) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:02 pm

“Lies lies and statistics lads.”

Well whatever, the fact remains that Kiwi men and women are struggling to couple in a way that doesn’t cause long term emotional baggage from previous sexual experience.
And when they eventually settle down with a mate, they spend the next 20 years projecting all the crap from previous relationships onto each other.
It turns out that mental health is often directly related to how many people you have rubbed genitals with in your youth.

Again, you are just projecting your prudish and antiquated morals.
There is nothing wrong with having sex, even lots of sex and certainly not “long term emotional baggage”

And you last sentence is just pure and utter nonsense! Puritanical bullshit with no base in reality whatsoever.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
# dad4justice (6059) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 8:57 pm

What a sick country.

Not really. Just for some who cannot bear the fact that we are not living in 19th century any more.
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Pauleastbay (3,726) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Lighten up you two

It was a unscientific survey done by a Sunday news paper and then we get the moral police going off on here .

Dad have a few laughs, I didn’t know onanisim produced children.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
“Again, you are just projecting your prudish and antiquated morals.
There is nothing wrong with having sex, even lots of sex and certainly not “long term emotional baggage”

And you last sentence is just pure and utter nonsense! Puritanical bullshit with no base in reality whatsoever.”

Ooooh didums, somebody is in denial and doesn’t like his lifestyle being criticised.

Not a prude and not antiquated!!
Long term baggage is a sad fact of NZ relationships, my wife and I deal with these screw ups all the time and quite frankly I think I am more than qualified to comment.
Same stories, same situations, unhappy messed up people who can’t couple properly.
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dad4justice (7,339) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
At least in the 19th century they didn’t show crap TV shows like Shitland Street, Outrag Fortune etc…
Promiscuity is the name of game, just check STD stats or an Abortion clinic you stupid knucklehead.

Dads with teenage daughters move country asap!!
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:44 pm
“It was a unscientific survey done by a Sunday news paper and then we get the moral police going off on here .”

Moral police? more like reality police.
This issue always stirs up controversy, it is one of NZ’s biggest lounge room elephants, tends to provoke that collective insecurity that pervades kiwi culture.
Drinking and rooting, is there any other way?
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dad4justice (7,339) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
“Lighten up you two”

Do you have a couple of teenage daughters dropkick?

What a SICK COUNTRY for CHILDREN.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Shunda, you are in no position to criticise my lifestyle as you know nothing about it.

And I feel for the people you deal with if your comments are anything to judge how you deal with them. Because, yes, you are a prude and your morals are outdated.
It is beyond laughable to say that with your ill-informed and misogynistic views (men 3 partners vs women 20 partners) you are more qualified to comment.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
# dad4justice (6061) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:40 pm

At least in the 19th century they didn’t show crap TV shows like Shitland Street, Outrag Fortune etc…
Promiscuity is the name of game, just check STD stats or an Abortion clinic you stupid knucklehead.

Dads with teenage daughters move country asap!!

Maybe because they didn’t have TVs? Pretty sure STDs were more rampant in the 19th centurty then they are today
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dad4justice (7,339) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
“morals are outdated.”

What an absurd statement from a deranged twit. The BIBLE is still the number ONE best seller.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
eszett, its ok screw as many people as you like, us misogynists will just keep to our prudish ways, forever in regret of not contracting chlamydia, herpes, love bugs, or genital warts.
You are right, I am a unenlightened fool, there are no problems and certainly no evidence what so ever to suggest there is any problem with the sexual behaviour of New Zealanders.
If only I had an STD, then I could shake of this prudishness once and for all.
Oh well.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
# dad4justice (6062) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 9:55 pm

“morals are outdated.”

What an absurd statement from a deranged twit. The BIBLE is still the number ONE best seller.

*yawn* I’ll not get into this silly discussion about the bible and it’s absurd morality regarding sexuality.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
“*yawn* I’ll not get into this silly discussion about the bible and it’s absurd morality regarding sexuality.

No need to eszett, the facts do all the talking, no biblical attitudes required.

Oh and by the way here is one of those facts:

“Another study that looked at promiscuity based on total number of sex partners found that Austrian men were the most promiscuous males in the world with 29.3 sexual partners on average, while New Zealand women were the most promiscuous females in the world with an average of 20.4 sexual partners. New Zealand was the only country studied where women averaged a higher number of sex partners than men.”

Air NZ should start flying direct to Austria, get those cougars some fresh meat!!
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Short Shriveled and Slightly to the Left (722) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
““Got laid last night, was good.”

Date with your sister?”

You got to hand it to Red, he does have a succinct wit. In four words he had me laughing hard.

Eszett – Shunda might not be too far off with his comment “It turns out that mental health is often directly related to how many people you have rubbed genitals with in your youth.”
arent there studies that show that young girls that have high numbers of partners have higher rates of depression and suicide etc. Also they are finding that women who have had abortions are more likely to suffer from schizophrenia and such from what I remember reading.
Im not religous and I have taken some feminism classes just for the hell of it, and I honestly think that women are short changing themselves by sleeping around. Just seems like males are benefitting and females are suffering the effects.

Jeff – yeah I got laid yesterday too. and this morning. and will get more this week. long term relationships are great
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 14th, 2010 at 11:53 pm
“Jeff – yeah I got laid yesterday too. and this morning. and will get more this week. long term relationships are great ”

Once had a Guy trying to “pull rank” over me regarding sexual experience, seems he thought that screwing more women = more experience, didn’t like it too much when I pointed out I had probably had sex 2-3 times as much as he had.
Never mind, women talk and my wife tells me he couldn’t satisfy his wife despite all that “experience” he claimed.
Quite frankly sex is something that gets better the longer you know somebody, a long term relationship is the best sex you will ever have, not casual encounters with people you hardly know while pissed out of your tree.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:42 am
arent there studies that show that young girls that have high numbers of partners have higher rates of depression and suicide etc.

I don’t know, are there? I haven’t seen any, and it seems to me rather unlikely. And what about young boys then?

Also they are finding that women who have had abortions are more likely to suffer from schizophrenia and such from what I remember reading.

That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it? The link to abortions.
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eszett (2,020) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:46 am
Quite frankly sex is something that gets better the longer you know somebody, a long term relationship is the best sex you will ever have, not casual encounters with people you hardly know while pissed out of your tree.

Now how would you know that? Given the heaps of casual sex that you have had?
And why do you assume the every casual encounter is due to alcohol?

You just are making silly generalizations and you are making them up as you go.
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Thomas the Unbeliever (140) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 7:24 am
What’s the problem here? I’ve read the pamphlets sent home from school with my kids ; as long as our teenage girls have had their HPV shots it’s all OK.

Surely there is no evidence of any sort that an average of more than 20 partners could have any negative effect; medically, psycologically or spiritually. All responsible parents should be teaching their kids that it doesn’t matter how many you root – just go for it!! What possible downside could there be?
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Pete George (17,596) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 7:38 am
Quite frankly sex is something that gets better the longer you know somebody, a long term relationship is the best sex you will ever have, not casual encounters with people you hardly know while pissed out of your tree.

I agree with this for myself. But I think there are two types of people around. Those who get as much out of the mutuality of it, the shared experience, the love, as they do out of the physical enjoyment. And I agree that the more experience with one partner the better it can get. Well, different but no worse, the initial excitement of fresh love isn’t there but that is more than compensated for – be experience with one partner.

And there are those who see themselves as studs, where the conquest factor rules.
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bustedblonde (137) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 9:08 am
well as I apparently have more experiance than most according to Mr Farrar I will blog on this later…. roarprawn.blogspot.com
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 9:37 am
“Now how would you know that? Given the heaps of casual sex that you have had?
And why do you assume the every casual encounter is due to alcohol?

You just are making silly generalizations and you are making them up as you go.”

Are you even living in NZ eszett?
Drinking and rooting is about as cultured as we get.
In fact, any new national flag would have to represent both!
But you are right, it is not all due to drinking, a significant proportion is due to being wasted on drugs as well.
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Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 9:49 am
“And there are those who see themselves as studs, where the conquest factor rules.”

And the funny thing is Pete, the “conquest” is often linked to a lack of respect for the opposite sex, the fellas I know that do this are far more likely to have misogynist attitudes and at the very least objectify women.
But because promiscuity is seen as progressive it all goes under the radar.
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Scott (1,381) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 10:00 am
eszett — the devil has a fine advocate in you. What we need is to do away with any of this boring traditional/Christian morality and just bonk anyone we like.

Except we see the damage all around us of this licentious, nihilistic worldview. Just take a look at the New Zealand Herald Web site right now. The headlines include “five-year-old sex offender on crime list” and “man abused schoolgirls met through Bebo”. This kind of stuff happens all the time now that we have become an anything goes society. People get hurt and abused and their hearts broken. Unfortunately that sinful human nature keeps rearing its ugly head.

What we need is some decent morals, not the degrading snake oil we have been receiving over recent decades from our leaders and opinion makers.
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Jeff83 (758) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 11:02 am
“What a SICK COUNTRY for CHILDREN.”

Never knew having sex was sick.

But there you go.
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Jeff83 (758) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 11:05 am
“Are you even living in NZ eszett?
Drinking and rooting is about as cultured as we get.
In fact, any new national flag would have to represent both!”

My friend at work, does drink or do any drugs or anything of the sort (not religous just doesnt like not to be in control). However she has casual sex on a relatively regular basis.

The people I seen who get messed up are those which get into ‘bad’ relationships where their self esteme gets systematically destroyed.
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Russell Brown (401) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 11:17 am
The headlines include “five-year-old sex offender on crime list” and “man abused schoolgirls met through Bebo”. This kind of stuff happens all the time now that we have become an anything goes society.

You have to read halfway down the story to find that the number of children apprehended for criminal offences has halved in the past 10 years. It’s a bit hard to divine the apocalypse on the actual facts, but I’m not expecting you’ll let those get in the way.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 11:57 am
What we need is to do away with any of this boring traditional/Christian morality and just bonk anyone we like.

The “sky is falling and everyone is having far too much fun and sex and young women are a disgrace” brigade need to get out a bit more. As an exercise, go out this Saturday night and see if you can entice a young lady to come home for a coffee. It’ll be much harder than you think, being pissed won’t help, you’ll probably need to dance and you might be surprised at how engaging, funny and smart those young ladies are, and what a small-minded old prude you’ve been each time you tut-tut them as you drive home from the Chinese restaurant.

In the unlikely event that you do actually manage to entice one home, you could whip out a copy of the Old Testament in the taxi and give them a few lessons in morality.
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Short Shriveled and Slightly to the Left (722) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Eszett-
“I don’t know, are there? I haven’t seen any, and it seems to me rather unlikely. And what about young boys then? ”
Can you point me to the part in DPFs report that mentions the number of partners boys have? no? ok then.
Do a google search and im sure you will find plenty of research that links sleeping around to mental issues.

“That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it? The link to abortions.”
no not really. the rising abortion rate is a symptom of our lax attitude toward sex. The effects an abortion can have on women is linked to research, yet that information doesnt seem to be common knowledge. We just think there are no issues involved with sex.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Malcolm, I’d guess there’s few here who would want advice on woman from a homosexual.
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
They might – give it a whirl, old man.
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Jeff83 (758) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
“Malcolm, I’d guess there’s few here who would want advice on woman from a homosexual.”

Would be more inclined to take his than advice from someone who last saw any action ago last century and whose ultimate form of wit is pulling a sister joke.
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Redbaiter (13,197) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Ok, so it wasn’t your sister, it was Malcolm…
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Jeff83 (758) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Haha. Damn it you caught me out. I knew I had a feeling I was being watched, you should have come and joined in
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malcolm (2,000) Says:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
It nice to see you trying some humour, Red. Stick at it, you’ll get there. Perhaps wait until the self-awareness course is complete – it’s too much at once.
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cosmopolite (7) Says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:12 am
To create a web page with a survey, and to invite anyone to fill it out, does NOT result in numbers that tell us anything.

Valid sex research requires choosing several thousand adult New Zealanders at random, and interviewing them face to face in the privacy of their homes. The interviews have to be conducted by well trained women at least 30 years of age. What I propose is quite expensive, but unfortunately quality research does not come cheap.

My sexual experience in New Zealand is confined to my wife. I always wear my wedding ring, and no woman has ever had anything close to a suggestive convo with me.

The conclusions of this survey are consistent with a few facts. NZ is in the throes of an STD epidemic. I have been told that single NZ women in their 30s and 40s have no problem with bonking on the first date. Finally, my job takes me to NZ uni campuses. I find the way women students dress in warm weather highly provocative, consistent with NZ young men not being good at approaching women, so that women have to take the initiative. This does not offend me.

Is this sexual free for all making anybody happy? I wonder. When I introspect about sex and relationships, I do so with foreigners, on internet forums. No point in trying to do so with my fellow Kiwis.
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kiwigirl (23) Says:
March 18th, 2010 at 3:40 am
I think if most commenters of this blog had regular sex, then they may be a little more happy, and a lot less judgemental.
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