Sent to me from a reader:
A New Zealander dies and goes to Heaven.
As he stands in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates, he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.
“What are all those clocks?” he asks.
St Peter answers, “Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” says the man. “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” says the man. “And whose clock is that one?”
St Peter responds: “That’s Nelson Mandela’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Amazing” says the man. “Where’s Helen Clark’s lie-clock?”
“Helen Clark’s clock is in Jesus’ office,” St Peter says. “He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”