TO: Parliamentary Staff (especially Labour)
FROM: Press Gallery Executive
SUBJECT: Press Gallery Party tonight
DATE: 16 December 2009
To avoid any of the problems we had last year, parliamentary staff are alerted to the following:
- Please do not steal any wine until after the party has finished
- If you do steal any wine, please take the cheap stuff that the MPs like, and leave the finer vintages behind for the gallery
- Note that we have micro-chipped all the beer
- Taking a bottle of wine as you leave, to drink as you stumble your way home, is fine – setting up a trafficking operation to move three dozen bottles to your car is not.
- We are placing gallery life member Richard Long on security for the wine. Think of the analogy about getting between a mother bear and her cubs and proceed at your own risk!
- Simon Power has agreed to a law change removing legal aid eligibility for anyone caught pinching the wine
We hope you enjoy yourselves tonight.
Jane, Vernon & Ian.