Memo from the Press Gallery

MEMORANDUM

TO: Parliamentary Staff (especially Labour)

FROM: Executive

SUBJECT: Press Gallery Party tonight

DATE: 16 December 2009

To avoid any of the problems we had last year, parliamentary staff are alerted to the following:

  1. Please do not steal any wine until after the party has finished
  2. If you do steal any wine, please take the cheap stuff that the MPs like, and leave the finer vintages behind for the gallery
  3. Note that we have micro-chipped all the beer
  4. Taking a bottle of wine as you leave, to drink as you stumble your way home, is fine – setting up a trafficking operation to move three dozen bottles to your car is not.
  5. We are placing gallery life member Richard Long on security for the wine. Think of the analogy about getting between a mother bear and her cubs and proceed at your own risk!
  6. Simon Power has agreed to a law change removing legal aid eligibility for anyone caught pinching the wine

We hope you enjoy yourselves tonight.

Jane, Vernon & Ian.

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