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December 5, 2009 7:20pm by David Farrar

Peter the Xmas Elf Caption Contest

Enter your captions below. As usual, funny not nasty.

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Comment58

Humour
NZ Politics
caption contest
Peter Dunne

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Caption Contest

Comments (58)

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Rod

That’s no elf. It’s Grumpy the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Where are the others? Oh, I know Happy was at the cricket.
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December 5, 2009 7:25pm
slightlyrighty

That’ll teach me for not reading the fine print on the coalition agreement!!!
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December 5, 2009 7:28pm
littlebluedroid

Well it’s not the prime ministers chair, or the speakers chair, or even the finance ministers chair, but it will do….. for now
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December 5, 2009 7:56pm
Hurf Durf

What? This? This is what John Key said I had to do to get a Cabinet position. I hope he isn’t lying this time.
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December 5, 2009 7:58pm
Gooner

If I just push a little harder, who brought the loo paper.
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December 5, 2009 8:04pm
dad4justice

Poor possum Pete should consult a shrink, as he looks like he is suffering bad from low elf esteem.
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December 5, 2009 8:05pm
Gooner

What’s that John? You’ll wipe my $58,000 debt from 2005 if I wear this outfit?

Done.
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December 5, 2009 8:07pm
philu

dunne tries on his leaders’ outfit..

for his new medieval-party..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:10pm
philu

dunne tries out a new facade..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:12pm
philu

dunne:..”..mm!!..wollen tights..!”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:14pm
noskire

Global recession forces a lower budget for filming of The Hobbit.
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December 5, 2009 8:14pm
philu

dunne:..’if that knight thinks he’s going to ride me..!”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:16pm
Blue Coast

At last in the right party. All our polices suit this party and its the first chance for me to out myself. Always loved being a friend of the fairies.
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December 5, 2009 8:16pm
philu

dunne:..’this medieval longdrop leaves a bit to be desired..”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:19pm
Fisiani

I’m Dunne and out
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December 5, 2009 8:20pm
philu

dunne:..’what a guy has to do to get an invite to keys’ xmas bash..”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:20pm
philu

dunne:..’oh no..!..here comes brownlee..!..dressed like a fairy princess..!”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:22pm
philu

dunne:..”if that frog fingers me again..i’m gonna crack him one..!”

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:24pm
philu

dunne:..”rams’ balls dumplings for lunch..!”..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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December 5, 2009 8:25pm
Political Busker

Pay your child support or Father Christmas will get you.
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December 5, 2009 8:55pm
noodle

“I’m going to find the dirty rotten bastard who organised this fucking fiasco and stick my bleeding piles where his sun doesn’t shine. What do you mean, in a nice, sensible, egalitarian and finely considered way? “
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December 5, 2009 9:14pm
Put it away

Peter was finally convinced to get a hearing aid after an embarassing situation arising from a telephone call offering him the job of “Health Minister”
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December 5, 2009 9:22pm
getstaffed

“See my clothes – Green Red and Blue. So offer me a portfilio and I’ll vote with you”
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December 5, 2009 9:49pm
Rex Widerstrom

D4J: “low elf esteem” I LOLed 😀

“I knew the qualification for a reindeer was a red nose… but who knew the entry requirements for an elf was a brown one?!”
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December 5, 2009 9:51pm
Fletch

Don we now our gay apparel,
fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
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December 5, 2009 9:58pm
Peter

Puritanical white mofo colonialist elf.
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December 5, 2009 10:55pm
getstaffed

Anyone heard of the Tiger Woods Index (TWI)? Note related to the jokes above. This index is quite cool. It’s a Google-derived measure of what people are interested in vs what the MSM think should be interesting.

It’s essentially a ratio, calculated by taking the general Google hit count for a term, and dividing it my the number of News site hits for the same term. Here are some examples:

1. “David Farrar” kiwiblog: 79,200 – 1 = 79,200 !!!
2. Climategate: 28,400,000 – 2,930 = 9693
3. Afghanistan: 143,000,000 – 154,145 = 928
4. Obama: 202,000,000 – 252,583 = 800
5. Tiger Woods: 22,500,000 – 46,025 = 489
6. Gordon Brown: 12,300,000 – 37,021 = 332
7. Climate change: 22,200,000 – 68,419 = 324
8. Sally Bercow: 25,000 – 86 = 290
9. John Key: 201,000 – 1420 = 142
10. David Cameron: 545,000 – 4837 = 113

The higher the ratio, the less the MSM think the topic is important. The lower it is the more it’s being pushed by the [online] MSM. Not sure what measuing stick Google uses to determing which sites are searched for ‘news’, but this index is kinda interesting regardless.
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December 5, 2009 11:07pm
getstaffed

.. ooops. Wrong thread. Sorry.
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December 5, 2009 11:11pm
pentwig

When I asked to be rid of the fools, I meant the phool whoar

Not dunne whore
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December 5, 2009 11:18pm
Rich Prick

I’ve rocked back and forward, and I still can’t break the suction. Bugger.
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December 6, 2009 12:50am
paradigm

United future flip-flops on policy to ban hero parade?
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December 6, 2009 1:17am
Sam

Where’s my assistant! I said Robin Hood – not a frickin elf. The Minister for Inland Revenue should dress as Robin Hood!!
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December 6, 2009 1:58am
Robert Black

“Wow these herbal party pills really do work!”
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December 6, 2009 6:37am
Inventory2

So how come I’m the only one that turned up for the United Future caucus fancy-dress Christmas party? Oh, that’s right ……
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December 6, 2009 6:51am
Robert Black

“Holy shit! That’s the last time I do mushrooms with the Dalai Lama!”
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December 6, 2009 7:13am
Michaels

If mummy dresses me like this anymore I’m just going to scream.
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December 6, 2009 7:17am
Pete George

“I hate my hair being flattened like this.”

(BTW I wouldn’t have recognised him)
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December 6, 2009 7:21am
Robert Black

“Hi-de-hi little boys and girls. Come in and take your clothes…I mean coats off.”
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December 6, 2009 7:24am
Andrew W

“Well, Key got to be Santa cos he gets to hand out all the lollies”
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December 6, 2009 7:39am
Adolf Fiinkensein

Now, where the hell is that money machine at the bottom of the garden?
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December 6, 2009 7:40am
Simon

I steal from the general population and give to the rich. It is called carbon tax.
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December 6, 2009 7:57am
OECD rank 22 kiwi

“At least I can claim this costume on MP expenses”.
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December 6, 2009 8:26am
OECD rank 22 kiwi

“I am Gaia, goddess of destruction. Present your children for de-carbonisation.”
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December 6, 2009 8:33am
alex Masterley

Bloody piles!
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December 6, 2009 9:52am
Manolo

“No, no, no. I borrowed this outfit from Nick Smith.”
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December 6, 2009 10:52am
Guy Fawkes

Guess who has been put in charge of ‘Elf an Safety. He’s been Dunne up like a kipper, or Arbroath Smokie.
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December 6, 2009 10:53am
Simon

Climate scientist to ride to Carbonhagen to rescue earth.
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December 6, 2009 11:24am
DRHILL

Peter Dune Finds Second Job to Pay for MP Expenses
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December 6, 2009 11:41am
Richard Hurst

Little boy: “Mummy that elf looks funny. What’s wrong with him?”

Mother: “Its not an elf darling. Its a parasitic byproduct of the MMP system in the form of a desperate politician from a very minor party. Do you remember what your father told you to do if you see one?”

Little boy: “Yes mummy. Ignore it and it will eventually go away to die quietly on a gold plated parliamentary pension with perks.”

Mother: That’s right. Good boy. Now who is the donkey this year in the nativity scene? On no, don’t look dear…its Phil Goff.”
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December 6, 2009 12:14pm
noskire

Would post this under GD if there was one today <a href="http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/bdwViyLPQrjfuA1A"Merry Xmas from JK".
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December 6, 2009 12:16pm
noskire

Sorry, stuffed up the link. Just copy and paste the bit in the quotes your browser address bar.
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December 6, 2009 12:21pm
kaya

The new Elf Minister, finally! A position with some respect!
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December 6, 2009 2:03pm
AndyC

The new minister for Elf and Safety inspects ARTA’s latest open wagon.
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December 6, 2009 5:38pm
Dolan

I’m gonna sack that bloody press secretary… I said put out a release on my human genome quote, not put me in fleece on a firkin Gnome float!
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December 7, 2009 3:52pm
Dirty Rat

It aint easy being Green when Turai sits on your face
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December 7, 2009 6:35pm
RRM

This isn’t the fence…
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December 7, 2009 6:37pm
getstaffed

RRM – that 2x +ve’s from me in a day. Sheesh!
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December 7, 2009 6:44pm
RRM

getstaffed – discussing politics can be fun AND productive when people aren’t slagging each other off in some kind of ongoing, juvenile flame war…
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December 7, 2009 6:50pm

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