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October 4, 2014 10:00am by David Farrar

Translating academics

Very good. Taken off Conrad Hackett on Twitter.

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Comment11

Humour

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Nice parody

Comments (11)

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Reid

I wonder how many times Peter Davis and other luminaries have used those precise phrases.
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October 4, 2014 10:31am
radvad

I recall some years ago a survey of “researchers” done by a science publication that showed that much ” research” has predetermined outcomes (read politically correct) which is designed to get more funding (read other peoples money), to be published and to obtain/retain sinecure.
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October 4, 2014 11:13am
Komata

Thank you DPF: At last I understand what my Professors’ were REALLY trying to tell me….

Quite made my morning actually….
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October 4, 2014 11:13am
Reid

…much ” research” has predetermined outcomes (read politically correct) which is designed to get more funding (read other peoples money), to be published and to obtain/retain sinecure.

Where do you think AGW comes from.
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October 4, 2014 11:25am
itstricky

The same translation chart suffices for most KB posters who just can’t bring themselves to say “I know nothing about the subject but my opinion is…”

Such as:

I know nothing about academic research but I recall some years ago, a survey or researchers done by a science publication showed that…

Or:

I am not involved in AGW research, nor anti-AGW lobbying but my personal opinion is that AGW research money comes from..
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October 4, 2014 11:34am
G152

As we’ve always suspected 🙂
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October 4, 2014 11:35am
mavxp

This is humorous because it exposes through humour what is sometimes true about academia.

– when writing papers you often fall into the trap of using a certain style of language. The style appears designed to obfuscate and make academic work seem more intellectual than it is. Good researchers who can write well often cut through that crap and get a reputation for leadership in a field – it is the lower tier academics who produce more dubious work and actually try and obfuscate or talk up unimpressive work. People in the know can see through it pretty quickly, and it would be rare to get such work published in the top tier journals.
– there is the `publish-or-perish’ mantra associated with maintaining academic positions. It ain’t just teaching next years graduates the fundamentals, universities must also produce research to maintain the reputation of the school. In the US the reputation is tied to what they can charge students to attend. In NZ more research funding from the Govt is dependant on the performance rating of the department
– obtaining competitively sought research funding can be very hard, so sometimes they need to respond to the “market forces” within academia. Winning clients in industry is likewise difficult- similar problem really.
– experimental research is often fraught with problems and results don’t always match theory -particularly if you are new to it and starting out (masters or PhD students). That’s the nature of the beast, but how we advance in knowledge – trying things out, failing, then trying again (or someone else learns from your mistakes and succeeds). This is why industry rarely invests in research – since it is a long term pursuit and may not achieve desired outcomes.
– academia is often a lonely unrewarding career when it seems no one gives a shit about your research but you and maybe a handful of others around the world. Industry is often more dynamic and interactive and feels more rewarding, because others give a damn about your knowledge and work.
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October 4, 2014 1:15pm
Johnboy

Lard is good for you! 🙂

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/10571864/We-ve-been-eating-the-wrong-fats-all-this-time

God I really hope my current guts-ache isn’t cancer from too much rice bran oil! 🙂
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October 4, 2014 1:21pm
lolitasbrother

Our research and data when assessed should show that …..
[ outcomes favourable to us here ]
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October 4, 2014 2:12pm
Fisiani

“Obviously” is a word used when the rest of the sentence is not indeed obvious at all. It’s a word used by linguistic bullies. It implies that any reasonable listener would infer it to be be true. Spot the fallacies in the following.
eg. David Cunliffe is obviously the best person to lead Labour
The Greens obviously care more about the environment.
Now that National has won they will obviously bring in right wing policies.
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October 4, 2014 2:48pm
Steve (North Shore)

‘Recent studies have shown’ = I am not going to expose those who told lies
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October 4, 2014 7:39pm

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