The Green Party today released a further policy on how New Zealand can make a goal of a 40% reduction in carbon emissions by 2020 and 80% by 2050.
“We realised our previous policy of de-stocking dairy herds was not going to be enough. Yes Cows fart and belch more methane than humans, but they don’t travel in cars and use heaters” said the Green Party.
New Zealanders emit 7.4 metric tons of carbon emissions per capita. The more New Zealanders we have, the more emissions we have. Hence the solution is to have less New Zealanders”
We have decided abortion is the best way to reduce the number of New Zealanders, as this is preferable to euthanasia. In 2007 the abortion rate was only 22.2% of pregnancies. If we can triple that to 67%, that will mean 37,000 less New Zealanders every year.
Over 10 years until 2020, that is a massive 370,000 fewer New Zealanders. That will reduce annual emissions by 2.8 million tons of carbon emissions. And by 2050 that will see annual emissions down by 14 million tons.
The Greens wish to make it clear they are not proposing that abortion be compulsory for all New Zealanders.
“We propose a lottery, like the US green card for immigrant visas. Every month all pregnant women will be entered into the lottery, and only two out of three of them will have to abort their pregnancy. One in three women will be allowed to keep their pregnancy viable. Of course they may miscarry, which will be great for the environment, but that is just an added bonus.
We wish to make it very clear, in case our opponents scare-monger, that a woman who has to have an abortion for the sake of reducing our carbon emissions is allowed to get pregnant again. So really it is just a small delay in having children for most women.
Some parties may decry this policy as extreme, but they should remember that unless carbon emissions in New Zealand are reduced to 40% of 1990 levels by 2020, the world is doomed and we will all end up aborted. So this is about saving the planet for the one in three who are allowed to be born.Tags: abortion, carbon emissions, Greens, Satire