Transport policies for Labour

July 27th, 2010 at 5:24 pm by David Farrar

I blogged yesterday on how had announced:

“Labour would support the lowering of the alcohol limit, because anything that will save lives on our roads is worth doing,” says Ms Fenton.

Readers helpfully suggested a number of policies for Labour, which meet their criteria of saving lives on the road, regardless of the impact it has on motorists. Some of them include:

  • All cars to be fitted with 1-metre thick foam rubber bumpers.
  • All cars to have a man with a flag and loudhailer walking in front of them to alert pedestrians of the imminent appearance of a motor vehicle.
  • Abolish cars, everyone to travel by moonhopper.
  • All vehicles to be painted violent pink for improved visibility.
  • Data loggers for every vehicle with instant tolls and fines, combined with implants on people to catch the cyclists and skateboarders on any decent hill
  • Abolish roads
  • A “Working for Families Ferrari tax credit”
  • Mandatory roller derby style body armour for all children
  • Allow only one person per car so there is no distracting chatter
  • A ban on Prime Ministerial motorcades
  • Stop running trains on any tracks which cross roads by means of level-crossings
  • Make all roads one way.

All of these excellent proposals will clearly significantly reduce the , and hence are “worth doing”. I look forward to seeing them in Labour’s 2011 manifesto.

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16 Responses to “Transport policies for Labour”

  1. GPT1 (2,122 comments) says:

    Phil Goff was quoted as saying that it is important that the public have their say on these proposals designed to save live and attacked the National Party for not sending the proposals to a select committee for debate.

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  2. davidp (3,587 comments) says:

    These will all be worth it if they only save a single life. Think of the children!

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  3. Steve (4,587 comments) says:

    Automatic choke for the backseat driver

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  4. RKBee (1,344 comments) says:

    DPF..I look forward to seeing them in Labour’s 2011 manifesto.

    Little will throw them out… by passing them on to the Greens… were lunacy belongs..

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  5. Bevan (3,924 comments) says:

    Phil Goff was quoted as saying ….

    Ahhh Phil, desperate for relevancy.

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  6. vibenna (305 comments) says:

    If we have mandatory birth control with a zero child policy, then eventually :
    – there will be no road toll at all
    – the environment will be saved
    – the balance of payments deficit will be eliminated
    – workplace accidents will drop to zero
    – teachers will be just as well paid as any other profession

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  7. Nookin (3,462 comments) says:

    All children entering preschool should be issued with a free scooter. This will be upgraded to a free skateboard at primary school and a suspension long long board at secondary school. Special lanes should be constructed on every road for non-powered vehicles. There should be an additional lane for mobility scooters. Labour should subsidise car pooling. In order to reduce road transport, the working week should be reduced to 3 days and all employers must provide a bus to collect employees on work days. In order to reduce congestion, vehicles will be colour-coded (7 colours) and only vehicles of a particular colour will be permitted on the roads on individual days. Heavy transport vehicles will only be allowed on the road between 10 PM and 5 AM. Campervans will be prohibited on any road upon which I am travelling.

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  8. burt (8,312 comments) says:

    DPF

    I’m sorry you have completely misread the situation. Perhaps being on holiday has distracted you from the normal MO of the Labour party. Tax my friend, tax – how could you forget tax.

    It’s simple. A device fitted to the car which serves a dual purpose of track and control but also records the actual speed over time profile. Tax is progressively applied in 10kph bands after the ‘fast prick’ speed threshold. The fast prick threshold will be established in 2010 applied late 2011 and will remain in place for 9 years. The threshold will be the top 5% of the speed all licenced drivers drive. (not actual drivers who are driving).

    The best thing about this policy is that we all know rich pricks drive fast cars but wait there’s more – extending the top end sped limits is both popular with voters and brings in extra revenue making this a perfect pluck the goose with the least amount of hissing policy.

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  9. Nookin (3,462 comments) says:

    Burt – Dont forget GST (Going Somewhere Tax)

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  10. side show bob (3,660 comments) says:

    Heard Phil of it on Larry Williams, what a shallow little man this prick is. If he wants to implement a road safety idea perhaps he should put governors on ministerial limos, given the fondness socialists have for getting to the game on time.

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  11. projectman (228 comments) says:

    Well, if we really want to decrease the road toll here’s a suggestion (and it’s a wonder it wasn’t thought of by the previous Government).

    Given (if my perception is correct) that more than half of the road accidents are caused by males, simply ban all males from driving!

    Easy isn’t it!

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  12. burt (8,312 comments) says:

    projectman

    No revenue in that, tax men more via ACC for their drivers licence… This is Labour remember.

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  13. Nigel (517 comments) says:

    It’d be even better “project man” to ban any sexes ending in “male” and to allow no vehicles on days sending in “y”.

    Of course to keep the traffic “people” occupied, they will then be diverted to ensuring no one walks faster than 3.15km/h or slower than 3.14km/h on footpaths to ensure public safety, straight well marked and maintained footpaths will be heavily monitored, footpaths with corners/maintenance issues will be left alone as will tail gaters, cell phone users ( who are banned from breathing whilst using a cell phone to reduce carbon emissions ) & politicians on their way to sporting events.

    Walking will require a 5 year progressive license and breath testing will be mandatory at all traffic lights, running will be banned to ensure ants do not suffer undue ground vibration which has been proven to induce post traumatic stress syndrome in the ant colonies by a computer simulation run by the department of green policy in the ministry of never ending red tape.

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  14. dion (95 comments) says:

    Some good ideas here. I’m sure labour will be pushing to implement whichever one involves pissing the most money against a wall.

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  15. RightNow (6,995 comments) says:

    Steven Joyce has good suggestions too:
    “They also tell you that if you didn’t allow anyone to have any alcohol, you would save more lives, and if you actually didn’t let anybody drive, it would save the lot.”

    hat tip Lindsay Mitchell http://lindsaymitchell.blogspot.com/2010/07/well-done-and-well-said-stephen-joyce.html

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