Transport policies for Labour

I blogged yesterday on how had announced:

“Labour would support the lowering of the alcohol limit, because anything that will save lives on our roads is worth doing,” says Ms Fenton.

Readers helpfully suggested a number of policies for Labour, which meet their criteria of saving lives on the road, regardless of the impact it has on motorists. Some of them include:

  • All cars to be fitted with 1-metre thick foam rubber bumpers.
  • All cars to have a man with a flag and loudhailer walking in front of them to alert pedestrians of the imminent appearance of a motor vehicle.
  • Abolish cars, everyone to travel by moonhopper.
  • All vehicles to be painted violent pink for improved visibility.
  • Data loggers for every vehicle with instant tolls and fines, combined with implants on people to catch the cyclists and skateboarders on any decent hill
  • Abolish roads
  • A “Working for Families Ferrari tax credit”
  • Mandatory roller derby style body armour for all children
  • Allow only one person per car so there is no distracting chatter
  • A ban on Prime Ministerial motorcades
  • Stop running trains on any tracks which cross roads by means of level-crossings
  • Make all roads one way.

All of these excellent proposals will clearly significantly reduce the , and hence are “worth doing”. I look forward to seeing them in Labour’s 2011 manifesto.

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