Spot the Spoof

April 16th, 2014 at 1:33 pm by Jadis

* Jadis post

So yesterday we had the dump truck policy from David Cunliffe, where he said:

“There’s nothing Kiwis like more than getting on the road and going on holiday. But on public holidays like Easter and Anzac Weekend fun can quickly turn to frustration when the family realises the rego for the caravan has expired or there’s a big hogging the fast lane.”

Then today we get this different kind of statement from Cunliffe (via Imperator Fish)

But we’re not stopping there. People also tell us that they can’t stand it when they’re merging in traffic, and when some clown in a souped-up car tries to push ahead of everyone else. We’ll make sure everyone merging in traffic follows the rules.

I’ve been travelling up and down this country talking to people, and I hear a lot of complaints. People are fed up. People have had enough. They’re at their wits’ end. They want to know why it is that when their neighbour’s car alarm goes off at three in the morning for the fourth night in a row, the police lack the power to confiscate the vehicle. We’ll fix that.

It simply isn’t good enough for this government to throw up its hands and say “not our problem” every time you go to open a tin of baked beans, only to find that the tin opener fails to cut the last bit, and then you have to get a spoon or a knife to twist the lid up, and then you have to wiggle the lid until it breaks off.

It’s not good enough for John Key and his rich mates to say “we’re not responsible” when you buy a carton of Anchor vanilla custard from the supermarket, take it home, and then open the carton at the top to pour the contents out, only to find that the custard is too thick to come out. Where’s the support for hardworking Kiwis forced to use a pair of scissors to cut the top of the carton off? Who’s looking after ordinary mums and dads forced to scoop the custard out with a spoon?

This is quality satire – all within the realms of possibility.  Well done, Scott.  I am sure you got a few heads nodding in agreement.

 

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14 Responses to “Spot the Spoof”

  1. mikenmild (11,247 comments) says:

    Three posts from Jadis on one point in a Labour policy announcement. Hurry back DPF: you are missed.

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  2. ROJ (121 comments) says:

    Someone help me here – I couldn’t spot it ?

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  3. Jadis (146 comments) says:

    Oh dear Milkenmild. If you wait a few hours I am sure there’ll be a nice travel blog post just for you from DPF

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  4. Elaycee (4,393 comments) says:

    @Milkmilo: Have you got a sore arse from sitting awkwardly on your Union Card? :?

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  5. markm (114 comments) says:

    You are amazingly quick to read and respond to Jadis’ post , mikenmild , considering you dont like them

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  6. chris (647 comments) says:

    From the not-spoof statement:

    But on public holidays like Easter and Anzac Weekend fun can quickly turn to frustration when the family realises the rego for the caravan has expired

    So Labour has decided people don’t need to take personal responsibility for silly rules like caravan registration, so they’ll just get rid of that one. Great, I’d like to not have the “hassle” of renewing my car rego every year too. Can they get rid of that one please? And all those other asinine taxes, fees and charges they have for other stuff too.

    Oh and surely caravan rego is like car ones, and they actually send you a notice that it needs to be done…

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  7. mikemikemikemike (325 comments) says:

    I don’t know why, but given the headline I thought you were going to show Cunliffe with what looked like evidence of a Winston money shot – proving that there has been a backroom deal done (so to speak)

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  8. Rich Prick (1,705 comments) says:

    I love it when satire could be easily mistaken for the real deal. Labour’s shower-head policy had me wondering for a bit at the time.

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  9. greenjacket (466 comments) says:

    “But on public holidays like Easter and Anzac Weekend fun can quickly turn to frustration when the family realises the rego for the caravan has expired”
    Yeah – because Labour Party analysis has shown that of the 800,000 people who didn’t vote in 2011, most are actually caravan owners. This is a brilliant political tactic by David Cunliffe to mobilise the electorally decisive caravan owning bloc to swing the 2014 election. Hundreds of thousands of caravan owners are becoming engaged by David Cunliffe’s vision of New Zealand as a caravan owning democracy.

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  10. Keeping Stock (10,342 comments) says:

    Fast forward to an election won by Labour at some date in the distant future. All sorts of unregistered caravans, motor homes and the like suddenly hit the road on a long weekend. Here’s a glimpse of what David Cunliffe’s policy will lead to :D

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  11. emmess (1,428 comments) says:

    There’s nothing Kiwis like more than getting on the road and going on holiday.

    Does he mean Kiwis going on holiday on holiday highways?
    I thought they were big no no’s for the Labour Party?

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  12. tom hunter (4,898 comments) says:

    Speaking personally, the biggest impact on my personal welfare is widespread anti-social behaviour, such as aggressive drivers, people texting while driving, people who walk their dogs without leads or let their animals wander the neighbourhood, and slow vehicles blocking the road (including people driving giant tractors on well used roads at peak times).

    A government that aggressively pursued the 30% of the population who think the rules don’t apply to them would get me voting again.

    Looks like Imperator Fish has got the vote of Tom Jackson. ;)

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  13. seanmaitland (501 comments) says:

    This is hilarious – I was reading it not realising it was satire and slowly nodding my head believing that Cunliffe would say such idiotic things.

    hahahaha

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  14. RF (1,407 comments) says:

    Jadis… Keep them coming … I enjoy reading the blogs.

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