Clarkson on NZ

March 18th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Adam Dudding at Stuff reports:

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has broken the habit of a lifetime and said something nice about a foreign country – namely New Zealand.

Clarkson, who has referred to Mexicans as “lazy, feckless, flatulent” oafs, given a Nazi salute in an episode about BMWs, and labelled Australians “convicts”, raves about New Zealand in his column in today’s London Sunday Times.

New Zealand, he writes, is “absolutely stunning; bite-the-back-of-your-hand-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-out lovely”.

It is. I think we take what we have for granted sometimes.

With characteristic humility, Clarkson uses his newspaper column to advise God that he made a mistake when choosing the Middle East as his religious base.

“If you were God and you were all-powerful, you wouldn’t select Bethlehem as a suitable birthplace for your only child because it’s a horrible place.

“And you certainly wouldn’t let him grow up anywhere in the Holy Land.

“What you’d actually do is choose New Zealand.”

If God really were all-knowing, continues Clarkson, “children at Christmas time today would be singing ‘Oh little town of Wellington’ and people would not cease from mental fight until Jerusalem had been built in Auckland’s green and pleasant land.”

Perhaps the most startling compliment, however, is Clarkson’s claim that if God had got it right, “Jesus would have been from Palmerston North”, a stark deviation from the verdict of his countryman John Cleese, who once said the North Island city should be renamed “suicide capital of New Zealand” because “if you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick”.

Where would they find a virgin in Palmerston North?? :-)

Tags: ,

Also too sensitive

October 4th, 2012 at 3:00 pm by David Farrar

The Herald reports:

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson breached BBC guidelines by comparing a Japanese car to people with growths on their faces.

A report by the BBC Trust’s editorial standards committee (ESC) found he “strayed into an offensive stereotypical assumption” with the scripted remarks during an episode of the hit motoring show.

A member of the public complained about the “offensive” remarks after Clarkson likened the shape of a Prius campervan to someone with “a growth on their face” and referred to it as the “elephant car”.

He also described it as “not a car that you could talk to at a party unless you were looking at something else”.

The ESC said the show’s audience enjoyed the presenters’ “sometimes controversial and forthright views” but ruled this remark “played on a stereotypically negative reaction to facial disfigurement”.

It said it “strayed into an offensive stereotypical assumption” and was “not editorially justified”.

Oh Good God you can’t even joke about elephantiasis now?  This must be one of the least offensive things Clarkson has said!

Tags: ,

300 km/hr!

May 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am by David Farrar

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is under attack for admitting he once drove over 300 km/hr on a public road.

Is anyone surprised? It is classic Clarkson.

He was driving a Bugatti Veyron, which has a top speed of 407 km/hr. That is one third of supersonic speed!

Sadly the fuel tank only lasts 12 minutes at that speed, but on the plus side you can travel 80 km in those 12 minutes! This is not a bad thing though as after 15 minutes the tyres have melted!

The acceleration is very nice – reaches 100 km/hr in 2.5 seconds which is equal to 1.2G. And it can brake at 1.3G. It can go from 400 km/hr to a stop in under 10 seconds.

I wonder how much one costs to buy?

Tags: ,

Blog Bits

May 27th, 2008 at 3:00 pm by David Farrar

Tony Milne links to a CNN piece of possible Vice-Presidential candidates.

On the Republican side I think Minnesota Governor Tim Rawlenty would be a good pick. He is a popular Republican Governor in a Democrat leaning state. The convention is in Minnesota

Not PC has a very comprehensive round-up of the work done by Trevor Loudon on Barack Obama. He describes Obama as “Keith Locke with charisma” :-)

Bernard Hickey has graphs of petrol pump prices, and how much goes to the producers, the local oil companies and the Government. The local company margin is currently close to 20c – a three year low.

Phil U at Whoar finds Jeremy Clarkson’s best and worst cars.

The worst is the Tata Nano and the best is the Nissan GT-R.

Tags: , , , , , , ,