Last night we had the closing function for Apricot, and afterwards we went back to the Hotel bar to carry on drinking. At the bar I was on a couch, and the rest of the Kiwis on chairs.
A very drunk Japanese couple in their early 40s comes over to us. We know they were drunk because they asked us ten times how long we were staying in Japan for.
The couple insisted on buying us round after round of drinks, and we enjoyed some great saki. They sat next to me on the couch, and I could not avoid noticing that they were, umm feeling each other up repeatedly. This was a bit surprisingly, as he claimed they were brother and sister.
Anyway as the drinks continued, their aim got worse, and they both started to grope my legs at increasing frequencies. My friends, from the safety of their chairs, were signalling to me not to walk away, as this might dry up the rounds of free alcohol. And they were trying to stop themselves bursting out laughing at the increasingly distressed looks on my face.
The woman thought she was being subtle by placing her arm beneath her own leg, as she reached over for mine. Unfortunately it did not work and my colleagues almost lost it at this point as at the same time the guy reached over her leg to do the same.
Just as I was reaching the limit of my ability to prostitute myself so my friends get free drinks, the couple decided to call it a night. Once they leave the bar, said colleagues burst into hysterical laughter and suggest I follow the couple.
Moral of the story – always choose a chair over a couch.