More prison blog extracts

Tim Selwyn continues to blog from prison, or more accurately to send letters to Bomber who puts them on his blog for him.

His latest post is fascinating. I’m quite amused that the Corrections Department allow Tim to slag off the prison warden and guards in such colourful terms.

With his sunglasses propped atop his boofy hair, white trousers and boat shoes it was a look that died in the early ‘90s where I come from.

His manner is somewhere between an ungracious maths teacher and a disappointed car-yard owner chastising his salesmen.

Throughout this time he fidgets : clenching his keys and coin change with his hands thrust deep in his straining white pants, with his billowing gut hanging out over the top like a giant blob of golden syrup ready to drop

Well everything in Klink’s hyperactive, neurotic imagining is a stand-over or potential stand-over I was quickly learning.

Tim also gives us an invaluable insight into how effective prison security is:

Well for a unit with more cell phones than an Auckland high school and more cannibas than a Northland one

All we need are photos of the nicknamed Colonel Klink!

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