Sideswipe today highlights one of the funnier comments made this week on this blog.
And NBR’s In-tray has a brief mention of (presumably) me as Ahmed P Farrar, Nigerian businessman.
The In-tray article is over the break, being a Labour parody of the Nigerian 419 scam.
The National Business Review – 15 September 2006 : 20-02
Subject: NOTIFICATION OF PRIZE
To: [undisclosed list]
From: The Office of the Chief Executive
It is my great pleasure in writing you this letter.
I am writing to you on behalf of Miss Clark, the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs Mhmd el-Clark of the blessed memory. Her father was a very wealthy tribesman and cocoa merchant in Port Mallardy, the capital of Papua New Zealand, but her father was poisoned to death by his business associates in one of their outings on a business trip. Her mother died when she was a baby and since then, her father took her so special.
All she have left in life is her Official Position leading the tribe. This she desperately wishes to keep.
Before the death of her father on jenuary 2003 in a private hospital here in Port Mallardy, he secretly called her on his bedside and told her that he had the sum of EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND NEW ZEALAND DOLLARS left in a fixed/suspense account in one of the prime banks here in Port Mallardy, that he used her name as his only dauther as the next of kin in depositing the fund. He also explained to her that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That she should seek for a partner in an organization of her choicewhere her office will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or funding political pledge card.
Unfortunately the Political Party to whom was subsequently transferred the authorized EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND NEW ZEALAND DOLLARS soon will be told by Mr. Brady to pay back all money.
I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following
ways to help me:
1 To provide a bank account into which this money would be
2 To serve as a guardian of this fund since Miss Clark is only 56 years old;
3 To make arrangement for Miss Clark to come over to your country;
to further her education and later head the United Nations; and
4 To Respectfully petition Mr Brady’s Office that we not refund money.
Moreover, we are willing to offer you 100% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas and 10% for expencis.
Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting us as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen 14 days you signify interest to assist me.
This business is completely risk-free on your part should you decide to assist us. Also, your area of specialization will not be a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction. I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me. Please send me an email on this email address to indicate your willingness in assisting us so that I can direct you on what next to do. Endeavor to include in your response your direct telephone, fax and mobile numbers where we can reach you anytime of the day for further discussion on this project.
I respectfully append some of many comments from other Satisfied Customers who have dealt with our Party.
Anticipating to hear from you soon.
Thanks and God bless!
Best and Kindest regards,
Port Mallardy, Papua New Zealand
BUSINESS ENDORSEMENTS FOR MR. AHORE:
“My company business has increased by 845% since dealing with the office of the Labour government, and I am now experiencing an 89.4% ROI” – Mhmd Butler, Tax Commissioner
“I may vouch that it has been a genuine pleasure to meet other honourable business persons such as myself.”
– Ahmed P Farrar, Nigerian businessman
“I would be distinctly Pleased and Honoured if any of your readers would kindly pass on to me more Gossip to do with Witchdoctor Brash.”
– T Mallard, The Democratic Republic of Bongo