Depressed To Death – Tara te Heke

Jadis has asked my opinion on the sickening child abuse and murder statistics among Maori.

The answer is – I don’t know. I don’t bloody know. And neither does anyone reading this blog, anyone in Maoridom or New Zealand in general because if they knew they would have fixed it by now. Everyone has an opinion on it, reading some of the men comment on the topic would be funny if I didn’t think in this instance it was what they actually believed. No one seems to have a solution other than “individual responsibility” and “choice”. That would be fine but the individuals in this case have failed and can’t cope. They will be punished by God and by the laws of New Zealand.

Jadis tells her touching story of post natal depression and I commend her for that and do not want to belittle her for her reaction to it. She comments, “I also find it really upsetting when a family friend of this woman attributes some of the blame to post-natal depression”.

But just like depression in general, some people react differently to others, some people have a more significant attack than others . Some jump off bridges, some take tablets, some pull themselves up and deal with it. Some people are still in bed right now because they can’t get up. Post natal depression hits the rich and the poor, Maori and non-Maori. It is real. It is not an excuse to kill your baby. I do believe however it can be a reason for women to do something this terrible. It should not provider her with a defence for what she did but it should shorten any sentence she receives.

Most comments on Jadis’ post lead me to believe that Kiwiblog commentators are in favour of smacking. I am not. I am not because as Jadis rightly points out, where does it stop? Everyone gives their child the odd encouraging tap, I’ve hit my kids but only when what they are doing is a matter of their safety. I’ve felt like whacking them harder at times when I thought it was all too much. But I stopped.

Sometimes it stops when it is too late. That sometime is one time too many.

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