General Debate 4 March 2012

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nasska

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate’s been hit by a car.

Paddy: ‘Get an ambulance here quick, he’s bleeding from his nose and ears and I tink both his legs are broken.’
Operator: ‘What is your location sir?’

Paddy: ‘Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street.’
Operator: ‘How do you spell that sir?’
Silence…. and after a minute.
Operator: ‘Are you there sir?’

More silence and another minute later.

Operator: ‘Sir, can you hear me?’
This goes on for another few minutes until….
Operator: ‘Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?’

Paddy: ‘Yes, sorry bout dat… I couldn’t spell eucalyptus, so I just dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street.’
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March 4, 2012 8:35pm
Johnboy

A joke for joana! 🙂

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can’t be found.
So he drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend and drives forward saving the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again, and the chicken falls into a mud hole. The chicken tells the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse says: “I think I can get you out.”
So he stretches over the width of the hole and says: “Grab hold of my ‘thing’ and pull yourself up.”
The chicken does this and is pulled to safety. Moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
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March 4, 2012 8:40pm
Johnboy

Paula has more to contend with than she thinks.

An Irish man is sitting a a bar drinking
A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, “can i give you a blow job?”
The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.
The bar tender comes over and asks, “Why did you hit that guy?”
The Irish man replied, “He said somethin about me gettin a job”
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March 4, 2012 8:42pm
cows4me

“Why don’t you start a proper Rural party”. Won’t work , most in this country see farmers as dirty polluting over paid moaners. We have no change politically as urban and rural are growing further apart. There was once a time when a fair proportion of townies could trace their history to the land, this is long since gone. Take the fucking Melons, biggest support base are stupid townies that pretend they know how the country works, I have heard them myself in the coffee shop, talking about the evil rich farmers who pollute the waterways. While at the same time the shit coming out of their beloved cities has to be seen to be believed. Yeah I would be happy to start a rural party but at the same time I know it’s a waste of time to piss into the wind.
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March 4, 2012 8:47pm
Griff

OECD better life index
http://oecdbetterlifeindex.org/
Create Your Better Life Index

There is more to life than the cold numbers of GDP and economic statistics – This Index allows you to compare well-being across countries, based on 11 topics the OECD has identified as essential, in the areas of material living conditions and quality of life.

New Zealand rates highly as do the other anglosphere nations Australia, USA and Canada.

Why stay here if New Zealand economy is not for you

All we need to do is educate that ten percent that drag us down by spending welfare that we all pay for for nil productivity gain
If you start at the worst The gangs the p addicts and the just plane feral you will rise the rest by removing the burden that these goons.place on the low income earners
You have to be serious about intent EX teachers police, armed forces not just green stone wearing social work types.

SPEND THE MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF THIS PROBLEM NOW OR WE WILL PAY FAR MORE IN SOCIAL COST LATTER

instead national feeds up another peice of marri frication tripe that will cost lots and do little Empowering the call-it Wtf good is a stone age culture in 2012 and in to the future
If you would like to benefit by the fruits of moden life you need to be a part of society not APART
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March 4, 2012 8:48pm
Viking2

johnboy, your greatest horror.

PROTESTERS have descended on the world’s biggest livestock carrier, The Ocean Shearer, in Fremantle this morning.

Fremantle Port security called police about 6.30am after a woman chained herself to the massive ship and refused to leave.

The woman from the Forest Rescue Group, used a thumb lock to secure herself on some of the ship’s railings. The Forest Rescue Group is the same group of activities who were behind the illegal boarding of a Japanese whaling ship in January.

Penny at large.
😀 😀 😀

http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/western-australia/woman-chains-herself-to-livestock-ship/story-e6frg15c-1226288519831
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March 4, 2012 8:49pm
Johnboy

Bollocks cows4me. The way things are going at the Beehive I think the time is right for a strong Country Party to remind the rest of them where their bread is getting buttered.

National has deserted us and the bloody Greenies are in the ascendant.

Time for action. Get your local branch of Federated Farmers into action before it is too fucking late!
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March 4, 2012 8:53pm
Johnboy

Its easy to lop off a thumb with a good set of boltcutters V2.
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March 4, 2012 8:56pm
Viking2

Yours to johnboy (if its not defunct in Wainui.) You could grab Trev’s seat no sweat. Your sheeples would vote you in.
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March 4, 2012 8:56pm
Johnboy

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
“Hey, girls,” says the brunette one day, “let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.”

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.

She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: “That was fun, we should do it again sometime.”

“No way,” says the blonde. “I almost got caught.”
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March 4, 2012 8:58pm
Johnboy

Thought I would give you a run for your money nasska.

Father McGee walked into the church and spotted a man sitting cross-legged on the altar.

‘My son,’ said the holy man, ‘what are you doing? Who are you?’

‘I’m God,’ said the stranger.

‘Pardon?’

‘I’m God,’ he repeated. ‘This is my house!’

Father McGee ran into the presbytery and, in total panic, rang the archbishop.

‘Your reverence,’ said he, ‘I hate to trouble you, but there’s a man sat on me altar who claims he’s God. What’ll I do?’

Take no chances,’ said the archbishop. ‘Get back in the church and look busy!’
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March 4, 2012 9:01pm
cows4me

Johnboy had a bad tragedy around here last week. A friends wife was riding a horse and it fell down a ditch/ ravine on top of her. The horse was panicking and tried to get up and kept kicking while on top of the rider, they had to cut the horses throat to stop it kicking. But it was way to late by then. Life is crazy. I guess when you number is up it’s meant to be so.
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March 4, 2012 9:01pm
nasska

V2

After years of Labour representation Johnboy’s electorate are used to being bribed for their vote. What he needs is something irresistible to dangle in front of the voters.

How about designer shearing & chocolate flavoured drench. That’ll drag in the sheeple.
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March 4, 2012 9:16pm
Pete George

cows4me – that’s awful.

You’re right, life can be crazy, most of the time most of us get by unscathed, but it can only take a quirk of timing or a freak or unlucky accident and suddenly someone is gone.
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March 4, 2012 9:22pm
Viking2

I doubt johnboy dangling his favourite choclate coloured wench in front of Wainuiomatians will do it. He could do what our local useless MP did and promise to build them a tunnel under the hill.
No tunnel now of course but it got him 10k of spare votes. He now thinks the sun shines out his arse and does even less.
Still I guess it worked.
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March 4, 2012 9:24pm
Griff

Funny how every time anyone wants to mine they find a new species
Yet another skink how many now? somewhere around 37 different species
http://www.3news.co.nz/Scientists-say-mine-threatens-Dennistons-rich-wildlife/tabid/1160/articleID/245069/Default.aspx

Instead of negotiating A win win The gweens just say no to all extraction.
More land provided in exchange for mining,or existing DOC land to be re rehabilitated and maintained. Could recreate greater areas of natural habitat. Even pest control can do wonders for the local wild life instead the gweens just say no to all extraction. A small amount .05 percent of resource value could make an impact on some of the on going maintenance our natural landscape needs if it is going to survive .

I was on the barrier the other year and watched the gravel barge unload The bloody stuff is shipped from corromandal FFS

Theirs lots of gold and silver up there we should mine it the place was well raped of Forrest in the till 1920s its mostly regrowing tea tree.
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March 4, 2012 9:44pm

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