A new political party is being formed. It already has 100 members and should reach 500 easily. It doesn’t have a name yet, but does have a process for choosing a name:
It was decided that we should auction off the right to name the Party on Trademe. Although if this is not successful it is most likely we will go with Aotearoa Nautical Alliance of Laughter, Peoples’ Independent Movement Party or Democratic Aotearoa Freedom Troop.
My personal favourite is the Aotearoa Nautical Alliance of Laughter as it gets across the core elements of NZ identity, our grand oceans as we are an island country and the NZ sense of humour.
There are three key policies so far. The first is the zero income tax, with the state gaining revenue by nationalising all vice:
The Yet to be Named Silly Party of New Zealand, is dedicated to bringing about a tax situation where you as a consumer would pay NO personal tax. We would go about doing this by creating State Owned Enterprises and Quangos that would have a monopoly on vice. We would have state pornography websites, brothels, drugs, strip joints, poker dens, we would even bring back BZP.
The Greens always say we should tax bad things instead of good things like income. Well this goes one step further. Don’t just tax bad things – take all the money from them.
Then a promise to repeal the anti-smacking law:
Another keystone of our policy will be introducing the Anti Anti Smacking Bill into Parliament. This would allow you to discipline your children if you have an NCEA, unit standard, or tertiary qualification in spanking.
I predict NCEA standards in smacking will be keenly sought after.
Finally the tourism policy:
One of the main Policies was turning the West Coast of the South Island into a homosexual holiday Mecca. We would shut down all mines, cease all logging and build massive gay spas, bars and amusement parts. This interlocks with our foreign policy of promoting homosexuality internationally to prevent further explosions in population. With more homosexuals in the world, and with Westport becoming a haven for homos, NZ will rake in the tourist dollars. CHA CHING!
The Porter Report in the early 1990s said the key to development was identifying and developing key clusters around your natural strengths. This policy fits in with that ideally.
Other minor policies include all legal cases being settled by reference to Wikipedia, 18 years paid maternity leave and outlawing the Dewey Decimal System.
I think this will be a very successful party with modern innovative polices for the 21st century.No tag for this post.