The BBC reports on seven new sins proclaimed by the Catholic Church. I would have thought they were doing badly enough the the original sins, they really didn’t have to invent some more. But here they are:
Accumulating excessive wealth
Drug trafficking and consumption
Morally debatable experiments
Violation of fundamental rights of human nature
Now they are all quite interesting.
If one includes carbon emissions as pollution, then we are all sinners and should ask God every week to forgive our carbon footprint. A lot cheaper than carbon credits also.
And if GM food results in millions of people not starving, or cures for fatal illnesses, well sorry you scientists – it is still a sin.
And Bill Gates is obviously going to burn in hell. No not for Windows ME but for being rich. Never mind that he donates more to charity and helping people in poverty than anyone else alive.
Inflicting poverty being a sin is also interesting. Does this make Dr Cullen a sinner as NZ still has poverty? And does this make the Chinese Government non-evil for lifting so many out of poverty?
Consuming drugs is a sin. Does this include party pills? How about coffee?
And what Vatican spin doctor came up with morally debatable experiments. What does that even mean?
I might even agree with the one about violating fundamental rights of human nature if they could list what these rights are.
Now The Times lists the seven original sins, and their respective punishments:
- Pride Broken on the wheel
- Envy Put in freezing water
- Gluttony Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes
- Lust Smothered in fire and brimstone
- Anger Dismembered alive
- Greed Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
- Sloth Thrown in snake pits
So what might be appropriate punishments for the new sins? My guesses are:
Environmental pollution – Drowned in acid rain
Genetic manipulation – Stoned to death with organic pumpkins
Accumulating excessive wealth – death by gerbils with $2 coins tied to them
Inflicting poverty – covered with honey and tied and staked out near an anthill
Drug trafficking and consumption – water boarding with Diet Coke
Morally debatable experiments – Dissection with no anaesthetic
Violation of fundamental rights of human nature – forced to listen to circular tape of Al Gore speeches until natural death occurs
In case the Kiwi Party, Sensible Sentencing or Family First read this post, please note the above suggested punishments are satire and should not be included in any manifesto 🙂