Poor kids

July 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm by David Farrar

The Taranaki Daily News has a story on some of the more unusual names in NZ:

  • Fish and Chips (twins)
  • Masport and Mower (twins)
  • Yeah Detroit
  • Spiral Cicada
  • Kaos
  • Stallion
  • Hitler
  • Cinderella Beauty Blossom
  • Twisty Poi
  • Keenan Got Lucky
  • Sex Fruit

Generally parents should be left to run their famileis as they see fit. But this is not an absolute right. Children are not just property, and there is sometimes a necessary role to protect children. I do think that most of the names above verge on the cruel.

Could you imagine 13 years of going through school with you and your brother called Fish and Chips. Every day would be hell probably.

Tags:

40 Responses to “Poor kids”

  1. goodgod (1,317 comments) says:

    Everyone’s name is a reflection of their parents. On a realistic level, it has nothing to do whatever with who the children are or will become. If you’re a spiritualist, you could argue that a man grows into his name, or that a boy called Hitler will become the opposite in his nature. I think I’ll go with the angle of it being a reflection of the parent’s intelligence on this one. Sex Fruit is honest, but really, if that’s your idea of a well thought out children’s name you probably aren’t capable of much more than a root.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  2. Lee C (2,720 comments) says:

    Sex Fruit!?!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  3. JC (948 comments) says:

    From my 1983 “Book of Lists” of strange NZ names:

    Maczene Hinebel
    St Helena
    Chlorine
    Cinderella
    Bingo
    Groom
    Daddy
    Calamity Jane Yvonne De Carlo
    Second
    Barley

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  4. Manolo (14,166 comments) says:

    You can safely bet a few dollars that the great majority of these “parents” are beneficiaries and Labour supporters. :-)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  5. bearhunter (822 comments) says:

    Sorry to put a dampener on this one, but the story is wrong. Internal affairs reckons that the names were never registered, so I’m unsure as to where the family court got its info from. Still, I think I like Keenan Got Lucky best of all the names in the list.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  6. Portia (175 comments) says:

    I remember around the time that Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter “Apple” was born, young Peaches Honeyblossum Geldof publicly lambasted GP for naming her daughter after a piece of fruit :D

    She was obviously speaking from experience and, I assume, also echoing similar sentiments shared by her sisters, Fifi Trixibelle Geldof, Little Pixie Geldof and Heavenly Hiraani Tigerlily Hutchence…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  7. mausism (13 comments) says:

    From the article:

    “”The names Fish and Chips, Masport, and Mower, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit have not been registered,” Mr Clarke said.”

    In other words, these are not names of New Zealand children.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  8. boomtownprat (227 comments) says:

    I will never forgive my parents (Total and Whata)Prat for naming me “boomtown”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  9. liz_shaw (24 comments) says:

    I think that parents should have the right to name their children whatever they see fit otherwise we are not living in a country of true freedom.

    Names are also subjective and I don’t think it’s fair that one person or three people who work for the NZ Government are able to decide what names are and aren’t allowed.

    It’s a personal choice.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  10. Buggerlugs (1,241 comments) says:

    You missed the best one off your list – No 16 Bus Shelter. I always wanted to name one of my kids Tarquin Fintimlimbimlimbim-whimbimlin Bus Stop Ftang Ftang Ole Biscuit Barrel, but my wife wouldn’t allow it.

    Nevertheless, even though this list shows the nitwits having kids today, one of my kids has a friend called Jovi, another in his class is called Coco, and yet another Zarbo. And no, these aren’t names relating to their ethnic backgrounds.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  11. stephen (3,981 comments) says:

    you better hope the kids never get a say in that matter then liz!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  12. Buggerlugs (1,241 comments) says:

    and oh jeez staying with Python, how could I miss Arthur Peter Brown Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoat-Gobbler John Raw Vegetable (whwhwhwhwhuh) Norman Michael (ding ding ding) (tweeet!) Edward (Honk, honk) ‘Shubiddy shubiddy shubiddy’ (low honk) Thomas ‘Oh, we’ll keep a welcome in’ (BANG!) Williams (rising whistle) ‘Rain-drops keep falling on my’ (whing!) ‘Don’t sleep in the subway’ (Cuckoo cuckoo) nyeuueneuhuenhuh Smith.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  13. FletcherB (55 comments) says:

    My wife, who works in childcare, has known and looked after……
    Rugby,
    twins Feather and Dusty
    twins Benson and Hedges

    I kid you not….

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  14. Scott (1,807 comments) says:

    “I think that parents should have the right to name their children whatever they see fit otherwise we are not living in a country of true freedom.Names are also subjective and I don’t think it’s fair that one person or three people who work for the NZ Government are able to decide what names are and aren’t allowed. It’s a personal choice.”

    Excellent- everyone just does whatever they want and with no regard to anyone else! I pity the poor kids with those names and given the above comment it appears that common sense has left the minds of many of our citizens.
    If we just do whatever we want according to whatever whim strikes us at the time then how is society possible?
    How can we possibly expect to bless our children if we call them names of evil people or something stupid that condemns them to a life of ridicule?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  15. Exclamation Mark (81 comments) says:

    Amongst my teacher friends there is a yearly competition to see who teaches kids with the most retardedly chavvy names.
    Some of my favourites –
    Stevie Ray and younger brother Creedence
    One family of four girls: Melody, Harmony, Destiny and Anne – I think she had a different dad.

    Made up exotic names are the best:
    Douchon
    Laqueeshay

    Not surprisingly they all say the more ridiculous the name is, the more badly behaved the child.

    The book Freakanomics has an interesting chapter on how kids names and how it is an indicator of parents socio-economic background.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  16. Buggerlugs (1,241 comments) says:

    20 years ago I spent a varsity holidays working as an allocations clerk for the Housing Corp when a devoutly religious woman was referred to us by the Jehovah’s.

    It was all I could do not to prostrate myself on the floor when she produced (waits for drum roll) Faith, Hope and Charity in bright white dresses and little bonnets.

    Natch, they defaulted on the rent after about three months…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  17. Mike S (177 comments) says:

    I have heard of a girl being called Krystal Shanda Lear, but I suspect it’s an urban myth…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  18. toad (3,674 comments) says:

    DPF said Generally parents should be left to run their famileis as they see fit. But this is not an absolute right. Children are not just property, and there is sometimes a necessary role to protect children. I do think that most of the names above verge on the cruel.

    Ah, so it is not okay to name them something silly, but it is okay to hit them.

    I don’t get it. I would have thought protection against parental violence was more important than protection against being given a silly name.

    PS: I wonder if when Rugby Union’s stalwart administrator Dick Littlejohn’s parents named him they realised the names would be readily transposed.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  19. Murray M (430 comments) says:

    I have met a kid called Crusader (can’t remeber last name).

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  20. Exclamation Mark (81 comments) says:

    Ah, so it is not okay to name them something silly, but it is okay to hit them.

    I don’t get it. I would have thought protection against parental violence was more important than protection against being given a silly name.

    Yes toad, using a smack to discipline a child is much, much worse than giving your child a humiliating name which will ensure they have the shit mocked out of them in the playground and leave them with a life time of bitter memories because no one takes them seriously.

    Feel free to give your children stupid names, and as you nurse their shattered self esteems each night after another day of being taunted and made fun of, you’ll be able to feel all smug and self satisfied because “hey, at least I don’t smack them”.

    Yes call your children Ferrari, Frogmella, Chardonay, Epypnanny, Macsyne – what ever – we’ll all know who’s place not to let our kids play at.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  21. PhilBest (4,757 comments) says:

    As someone points out above, this reflects the tragedy that is non-existent social standards for parenthood.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  22. Buggerlugs (1,241 comments) says:

    “A CYF spokeswoman says the name a parent chooses for a child does not constitute a care and protection issue in itself. ”

    Isn’t Benson & Hedges in violation of some nanny Act?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  23. Patrick Starr (3,674 comments) says:

    “Ah, so it is not okay to name them something silly, but it is okay to hit them.”

    no, but with a silly name every other kid probably will

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  24. PaulL (5,446 comments) says:

    Frog, if anyone had ever demonstrated that a smack was bad for a child, that would work. But child researchers find no such correlation (once they exclude those who beat their children – clearly that is badness). In fact, the government in promoting the bill was pretty clear that they had no intention of criminalising those who smack their children, they were apparently chasing those who beat their children and somehow weren’t aware that it was already against the law. Are you saying that, in fact, this position was false pretences, and that the government really meant to criminalise every person who ever smacks their child?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  25. mara (769 comments) says:

    The poor little bastards Rinso and Persil probably wouldn’t have a chance anyway, given the parents’ retardation and/or total ignorance of any aspect of decent parenting. A sad social reality. BTW, can you believe that people ALWAYS ask me how to spell my name? Ma ra. How hard is that?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  26. waka (3 comments) says:

    mausism, Hi!
    Im twisty poi. The reason its not registered is because the spelling is wrong…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  27. Steve (4,536 comments) says:

    A boy named Sue © J. Cash

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  28. Grant Michael McKenna (1,110 comments) says:

    Relatives of mine who emigrated to Australia have given their kids the middle names Bruce and Sheila. Waits for audience applause… not a sausage.
    In several parts of Africa it is traditional to name a child after significant events in the life of parents or at the time of their birth; these names then may become family names if the first of the name becomes significant. Names like Kaiser, George- and jail- all come from that tradition.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  29. side show bob (3,410 comments) says:

    I wouldn’t get to clever Toad, with a name like that. So I take it your first name is cane or maybe your surname is stool. My money is on Stool as your surname, it sort of fits.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  30. mara (769 comments) says:

    Waka, you are an ignorant creep. But carry on. You will be mauled here. I will do it later, after feeding the family and if I can be bothered.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  31. JSF2008 (422 comments) says:

    I suffer because i was called JOHN, sob ,wail,:(

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  32. Buggerlugs (1,241 comments) says:

    I feel I’ve contributed far too much weirdness to this thread, but omitted another beaut;

    Stan Tooamelaitai (I’m pretty sure it was him) named his son Carisbrook after a season playing for Otago.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  33. OECD rank 22 kiwi (2,760 comments) says:

    What’s wrong with “Fat Boy” as a name? If you believe the hype over the “Obesity epidemic” it would be a quite apt name for children in future years.

    The other refused name of interest is “Stallion”. Next they’ll refuse an application from the Wang’s to call their son “Donkey Richard”. ;-)

    That will only discourage the Dong’s in their choice of name for their children.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  34. Thrash Cardiom (249 comments) says:

    “I have heard of a girl being called Krystal Shanda Lear, but I suspect it’s an urban myth…”

    Shanda Lear, daughter of Bill Lear (founder of the Lear Jet corporation). Here is her website. http://www.slecorp.com/

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  35. waka (3 comments) says:

    OKAY? What did I miss? Im an ignorant creep why? Because my parents decided to call me Twisty? Let the mauling begin then Mara! Discriminate against me because of my name. And you have the audacity to call me ignorant? Get a life will you…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  36. bearhunter (822 comments) says:

    While I gave a blanket warning to my kids to avoid anyone with a name like Shaznay or Loquoia or Chlamydia, it’s not just the poor and limited who make bad name choices. How long do you reckon Shiloh Pitt will be in school before she’s indelibly dubbed Pile o’ shit? Ten minutes? Half an hour? And as someone who was saddled with a long, hard to pronounce/spell name, can I make a plea to parents to keep it simple. How I longed to be a Sid, Alf or Bert….

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  37. mara (769 comments) says:

    Waka, at least you are not Mike Hunt, As in “Have you seen Mike Hunt?” Heh ….

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  38. mara (769 comments) says:

    Yeah, sorry Waka, I was a bit hard and unfair. Mea culpa.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  39. waka (3 comments) says:

    Thanks. It was a real shock to see I was going to be mauled for a decision my parents had made, (obviously without my consent, or even knowledge) I havent had very many problems with my name in my life. Well not like Mike and certainly not like poor little Talula.

    ps My children’s names aren’t as bad as mine. (at least I hope so)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote