A story of two Helens
October 29th, 2008 at 8:25 pm by David FarrarLabour’s “Two Johns” attack ad has just been ruled misleading by the Advertising Standards Authority. John Key laughed it off and National said they will not respond.
However You Tube allows anyone to respond, and Whale Oil has put together a nice little one minute 20 second response, called the story of two Helens. The total cost of production was $0.00.
Enjoy it. It is the first in a series. Helen has done so many flip-flops that there is enough material for at least three ads. The next one will focus on her calling a plan to take debt to 22% of GDP as reckless, and then upon finding debt will hit 30% of GDP, stealing the very policy she attacked to borrow more for infrastructure!
Feel free to send through other flipflops.
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October 29th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
whale oil – you are awesome!!!!!!!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Helen’s stuffed, talk about somebody being fickle.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Well done. Now for TVNZ to play it.
What about the Labour East Coast Bays candidate who stood in for Carter at a public education discussion last night and was caught stating she has never paid school donations, doesn’t believe in them and always posts the requests to the education minister.
Next time your paying your kids schools fees and wonder who are the 20% of parents that don’t you now know they are most likely Labour MP’s, candidates or officials.
Labour MP’s bludging off hard working parents since 1908!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
good work whale oil.. couple of suggestions maybe to make more effective.
1. it moves a bit slow, maybe speed it up a fraction. Voice needs to sound a bit more confident.
Vote:2. Don’t bother with coulds and mights… the final point about “maybe we could become carbon neutral”, vs emissions increasing isn’t very strong. They can always easily counter those points. There’s plenty of better ammo.
October 29th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
p.s. should also not rely on the sound to carry the message… if there are bits that are spoken, they should be visible as well, so in the frame showing “absolutely not, I think you are trying to defy human nature”, there should be a written reference / title relating it to the issue of banning smacking.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I still ‘Trust’ Helen to be:
Venal
Corrupt
Indifferent
Sanctimonious
Snarky
Cancerous
Corrosive
Shifty
Slimy
Egregious
Self Absorbed
Parsimonious
Evil
Vindictive
A falsifier of Veracity
Contemptous
Disingenuine
Economical with any truth
Controlling
Weird
Mentally disturbed
Vacuous
Haughty
Viscious
Cantankerous
Difficult
Mendacious
Nasty
Barking Mad
Stupid
Controlling
Nonempathetic
Bizarre
Odd
Strange
Byzantine
Mean
Tiresome
Shit stirring
Disloyal
Sedition prone
Obseqious
Non benevolent
Malevolent
And there are some really bad things in her personality disorder as well!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Which Helen Klark called West Coasters ‘inbred’ and ‘feral’?
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I would like to say that this is very wrong.
However, under the circumstances they had it coming. When you get personal and attack the guy on 47%, do not believe that those 47% will not fight back.
Now we have to “rickroll” these into labour leaning links and websites.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Urorectal septum malformation sequence
Look it up.
There would appear to be a live birth incidence in females of 1:990,000 + cases, whereby there is no birth canal in the infant.
Basically speaking there is no vagina, and this is fatal if there is no anus either.
Just wondering who we know who might be a girl in a million?
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
……………….and this little Helen went wee wee wee wee all the way home……………o
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Well Herr Hitler only had one testicle!
He was a freak!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
9th Floor bloggers gone home to watch the TV?
How bizarre.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Ding dong the Witch is dead, the Wicked Witch is DEAD!!!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
The lady talking in video is soooooo boring to listen to. Just imagine if TVNZ aired this .. gee I would throw the remote at the TV!
Vote:Glad i’m her partner!
October 29th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
This Helen said, “We will get NZ in to the top half of the OECD”….This Helen managed to lower our OECD ranking
This Helen promised to protect religious minorities….. This Helen called the EB a “weird cult”
This Helen said she would promote honesty and integrity on government….This Helen has lead the most corrupt administration in NZ history.
This Helen is an untouched photo……This Helen has been doctored by National party Spin meisters to make here appear old!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Getting back on subject: what further material illustrates the two Helens?
1. The standard she used against Ministers such as DBenson-Pope cf her attitude towards WinstonP.
Vote:2. “Last cab off the rank” in 2005 cf natural partners with Maori Party.
3. “Top half of the OECD” cf actual ranking declining.
4. The 2005 election is about trust cf retrospective legislation to kill a court case about the pledge card that stole the election.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Hels first flip flop, Closing the Gaps.
Gentlemen Don had a little chit chat at Owera and Hels couldn’t flip flop quick enough.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
OOOhhhh,
Its November in three days….
Voting is roughly a week later……
I’m all a quiver all over…….
Only a few more sleeps till its all over
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Helen is a sad excuse for a farmers daughter. She has forgotten who creates the wealth,
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
I wish I could share your optimism wikiriwhis business, but die klarkenfhurer is as slippery as a shithouse rat. I hope NZ is freed form her clutches, but am not sure it will happen.
Ya know the flies we get in Oz in the summer are almost unbearable, but at least they f£$k off in winter and generally you can escape them indoors. There is no escaping HC’s evil.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Helen is going to be very boodled just before the election, and really fraught after the election.
Just like in Madagascar the movie, watch her throw poo and see her horror as its sticks all over her.
She has stated that she now wants to take her satin chain mail gloves off! Fanatastic.
Would we ever know the difference?
So many flip flops, and commentators on here are so right.
She mirrors! Typical of a NPD. She accuses everyone else of doing what she feels guilty about doing herself.
Just classic couch material.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
From where I am sitting, in a very happy (but evil) “dictatorship” it seems to me that you they have identified one problem about so called happy “democracies” (the freedom to be taxed as the law decides, the freedom to have your culture quashed by immigration, the freedom to have your behaviour controlled, the freedom to have your economy fooked by other countries, the freedom to have no army to protect your shores, the freedom to have your country sold to foreign buyers, but hey, the freedom of speech, the freedom to vote in a fooked up political system called MMP (which I voted against as did most wise people), civil liberties of the Maori gang rapists and lately the Maori dairy armed robbers, wow was I ever a happy defence lawyer in New Zealand)
Your politicians think no different to the selfish Maori armed robbers.
They don’t care about New Zealand. New Zealand Culture.
They only care about their huge salaries and getting in again.
Yes the hypocrisy!
But can’t you see, you fooking dumb sheep, it is the political system you need to change!
National won’t make any difference unless you get a dictator.
Muldoon was in power at the wrong time.
Boy does this pimple country need a new Muldoon!
John Keys is weak. He will fail as they all have.
New Zealand needs a very right winged leader, a dictator.
Start searching, easy going sheep.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Good work Whale Oil, the ad hominem tone of the labour campaign has reached new lows. Generally if you find yourself in a hole you should stop digging.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
“it is the political system you need to change”
Yeah many people I talk to also agree about that Rob – I was talking to one today who was bemoaning the referenda we never had on keeping MMP. However, for some reason the politicians don’t want to vote for their own demise. I’m shocked.
What do you suggest? Armed revolution?
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Robert Black has an extremely high opinion of his intellect and influence. Reminds me of that crusty piece of shit ,decorating a sheeps arse.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
As Brad Pitt famously said in ‘Snatch’
“Do you like Daggs?”
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Well, it may just come down to that reid.
But if there is a coup. I hope the new Muldoon General will do at least the following:
First, get out of the US economical choke.
Use natural gas for your cars and wind to back up the dams.
Let’s face it without that control NZ is a farming country, unlike Russia or North Korea, will never run out of food and the people will never starve. Don’t let your daily economy be controlled by countries thousands of miles away when it comes down to food prices!
Secondly, try and build up an effective army.
Independance will be the word of the future.
The countries that have it will survive.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
“Good Helen” this election is about trust, “Bad Helen” trust us to steal $850k of your money. Fuckers!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
The biggest army of the future will be the one with the BIGGEST WATER STORAGE dams.Get that into your brain and you can understand how New Zealand will slot in as a MAJOR world food producer.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
And let’s face it there is only one person with the balls big enough to lead such a coup in New Zealand.
I don’t like him, but maybe he can do it.
I don’t even need to name him.
But I guess he hung around for a reason.
And if he did, do the right thing, I would support him from afar.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Rob again I don’t disagree. Apparently however NZ has turned into a bunch of ignorant woofters who dislike bang bangs.
I can’t believe the lack of reaction to Lange’s, Bolger’s and in particular Clark’s dismemberment and reconfiguration of the forces into a kinder friendlier fluffier kind of military.
It’s of course completely fucked however very few people get the elementary truths that firstly just because they themselves don’t see a real threat doesn’t mean a real threat doesn’t exist and secondly, that by the time a threat is perceived it’s far too late to do anything about it since effective defence takes years of training and practice. This is elementary but most people in this isolated naive nation simply don’t get it which is proven by the fact that, while this and previous govts have abrogated their first role of govt: to protect from internal and external threats; it has passed without comment as our military has been slowly, steadily and inexorably reduced to a high quality but token force.
I suspect that most people on this blog actually do get it, but we have no numbers and regrettably no wide influence.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
@Bruno you are just a loser boy, how old are you like 15? Had your first fook yet?
What happens when Indonesia wants our water Mr Genius?
Boys at 15 need to go and play with their secret friends, your right hand and ur dick
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Whale Oil, it is brilliant! Key has to fight back. He has a lot ammunition.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
your a piece of crusty sheep shit bob. You don’t know shit from clay. You have picked on the wrong man sunshine.You need a silver bullet like your 3 indonesian frends are going to receive ,next week.Goodbye to your Bali bombing mates dogbreath.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
@ reid I agree with you totally
But I fear left wingers civil libertarians will destroy your country
I am safe in China and the Chinese are very relaxed in China, why?
3 reasons:
No one can own the land in China except the Chinese Government;
No one can become Chinese except the Chinese born in China;
Chinese have a very powerful army and police.
End of story.
Oh if only the Kiwis had thought of that years ago.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
So Rob do you need to speak the language over there to get by (assume you’re a lawyer from your comments)?
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Fonterra put $300 million into China ,and had 1 person in the joint venture that spoke and maybe understood some manderin. Mr Ferrier,the CEO of Fonterra is on a retirement contract and needs to fuck off.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Yes I can speak Mandarin.
It has been a bit of a learning experience about democracy versus dictatorhip.
I can do whatever I want here, except post anti chinese coments or protest.
But, I can do do WHATEVER I WANT if I don’t cause trouble.
For example, I can get as drunk as I want, go out and let off huge sky rockets (say it is my birthday), and then take in as many pleasures imaginable 24 hours.
I won’t be robbed by fooking Maoris.
I won’t be hassled by police ever.
The thing about a fair democracy is that you will be taxed and controlled by stupid minor laws.
The thing about a fair dictatorship is that you won’t be hassled at all unless you cause big trouble.
I have a long criminal record in New Zealand!
3 speedings, 2 no wearing a seatbelt (Oh I am a terrorist!) and one taking a red light!
I am a nasty criminal in the the eyes of the NZ police.
Here I am clean!
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
What do you eat ?? Chinas food safety laws can kill you
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Thanks Rob, I’m looking at China myself.
Vote:October 29th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I generally eat Chinese pussy.
Quite safe.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Superb. Robert Black is showing every sign of become the funniest new wingnut on Kiwiblog… Pull ya finger out, Redbaiter! You’re being seriously overshadowed here!
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Robert, you’ll be quite safe to return here soon enough as all our arses will soon be owned by the Chinese!
Make sure to bring back plenty of Chinese pussy with you
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 12:37 am
@DamedAngry, I will be bringing plenty of cousins and nieces
Good genetics, tight and non-smelly pussies.
You can rely on me.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Ssshh Robert.
You’ll exacerbate the man drought in New Zealand and then what are kiwi girls to do?
The sale of “Rabbits” at sex stores will be the only growth industry in New Zealand during the deep recession.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Like the man drought is a bad thing?
Hey, a blow job is twice as enjoyable.
Enough said!
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 1:09 am
I think the leadership of Labour and Greens favour the man drought for other reasons.
i.e. plenty of news recruits to their lifestyle choices.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 1:26 am
Is Chinese an acquired taste Robert as I’ve never tried it to be honest? Personally I prefer European dishes
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Enough posts on pussy please.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 7:34 am
That’s a bit unfair David…don’t you know that pxxxy talk is a great way to relieve pre-el(r)ection stress?
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 10:41 am
“This Helen voted to ban smacking”
SO DID JOHN KEY AND NATIONAL!!
Only ACT opposed.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
“I generally eat Chinese pussy.
Quite safe.”
Just wanted to know if Chinese women are socially receptive
Few beers, like anyone else I spose.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am
How does Helens coalition for the losers reconcil Jum’s assertion that we all need to be farmers to work our way ot of the recession with the greens assertion that farmers should be taxed into oblivion or just dragged out of their houses and shot or whatever hysterical wank line they’re playing this week?
It’s just a question.
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
” wish I could share your optimism wikiriwhis business, but die klarkenfhurer is as slippery as a shithouse rat. I hope NZ is freed form her clutches, but am not sure it will happen.”
Remember ma ffriend, that’s what they said about Denis Conners and he got snotted. :p
Vote:October 30th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Oh dear jesus that pic of helen #2. I flinched and flew backwards in my seat the first time that came up. And the second. That really is shock tactics.
Vote: