Enough to put you off pasta
A man caught near New South Wales’s Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20kmh car chase, has had his day in court.
Newcastle police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed.
Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.
Just as well they did not shoot – the splinters from the glass could be painful.
Weatherley attracted attention parked in a no-stopping zone before noon on October 26.
Police believed Weatherley was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon.
Well he sort of did have.
Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights.
The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kmh, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.
Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.
They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.
Now let us check we have this right. The armed Police are all around him and trying to wrestle him to the ground, and he is still trying to finish the job? My God, that’s determination.
And pity the poor Police.
A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
A terrier? Someone call the SPCA.