A conversation last night
Was at the Green Parrot having some drinks and food with a few good folks. They were celebrating a political victory that day.
One lass felt the need to share with the table that she has had a shag in the bathroom at the said establishment. The conversation went like this:
Lass: You know I’ve had a shag in the toilets here
Everyone: God, why did you tell us that
DPF: Do you remember his name
Lass: Of course I do
DPF: Well does he remember your name
Lass: lost for words
Rest of the table high fives DPF.
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Tags: DPF, Humour
October 15th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Presumably one day this will be the mother of some poor bastard’s daughter?
October 15th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I hope they washed their hands afterwards.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
His name was Gary, and the silly fellow put his photo up on the internet for all to see.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
High fives or low fives??
October 15th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Gee . . and they say romance is dead.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
right wing slappers..?
go figure..!
eh..?
who’d have thought..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
October 15th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
phool – I thought a place with a name like the green parrot would have flocks of silly greenie birds?
October 15th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
sounds like a really friendly girl .. philu, I take it left wingers prefer sex in bedrooms with the light off and only when married (to each other of course).
jabba(shagaholic.co.nz)
October 15th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Who was celebrating a political victory and what the hell was it. The rest of us could do with a few ‘victorys – do share!
[DPF: The Maori Party]
October 15th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Given the waning popularity of the Green Parrot (seriously, who the hell actually goes there anymore?) I can only assume she was not a ‘young lass’ but a slightly older one.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
a iife of lots of booze etc etc..
takes a terrible toll..
and is a proven slapper-formula..
and in their thirties..if they are still doing it..
they are well into advanced slapper-hood..
in their forties..?]
irredeemably tragic..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
October 15th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
D4J – you are clearly unaware of the Wellington institution that is the green parrot. No person in their right mind who is concerned with the environment (or their waste line more importantly) would ever eat there!
October 15th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
“..or their waste line ”
heh…!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
October 15th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
I do hope the young gentleman did the right thing and took her home to her trailer.
October 15th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
..thats absolutely disgusting and the… umm…woman concerned..needs to be..er.. spoken to re her actions….whats her name and number…leave it to me…
October 15th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Of course I remember her name.
October 15th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Lass: *sighs* I’ll probably never see him again, but we’ll always have Parrot’s…
October 15th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
LUCY 5:23 pm,
With that sort of knowledge, I fear that any further comment may earn me demerit points.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
OK this leftie concedes you are a pretty funny c*nt Farrar – nice one!
Just for context though – was “lass” with your party? Or some random slappa that strangely felt the need to share this info with a table of randoms?
[DPF: She was with our party]
October 15th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
NOt1tocommentoften 5:34 pm,
Having also been to said establishment, I would have to agree with the “waste line” comment; as opposed to ‘waist line’.
Serious indigestion can ensue following a feed there.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
One could say she was fucked in the head.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Lass !
October 15th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Adolf – I thought she was fucked in the loo.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
VI, from the Concise Oxford Dictionary:-
Head
9 Nautical slang a toilet, especially on a ship.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Adolf – cool!
From the Consice Oxford Dictionary:-
Loo
Women’s Sewing Circle slang – c*nt, especially on a lass.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Is this story supposed to distract us from talking about the piss poor job this current National coalition government is doing for the people who voted them in. If so welcome to the MSM.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Dear David,
FINAL TERMINATION OF VRWC MEMBERSHIP
Once again Mr Farrar you have breached regulation 2(1)(b)(i) of the VRWC Membership Rules:
“Thou shall not fraternise with those who have helped themselves to pocketsful of taxpayers funding”.
Committee meeting to be held in private to consider your defence which can only be found at regulation 4(2)(d)(iii), stating:
Exceptions include…..”for intel purpose to advance the VRWC”
You have two working days to respond. I trust you know what a “working day” means. Given your pinko tendencies we have to make sure you don’t confuse this with last night that was a “Meet The Troughers” day.
Yours sincerely
Cactus Kate
[DPF: It was great intel - got the inside goss on who fucked everything up]
October 15th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Exactly Murray
$250 mil a week and everyone talks about a slapper
October 15th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Since this blog was posted Bill has borrowed over $5,000,000 on your behalf.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
You would think the bugger would have half a mil spare for me to buy that little farm then.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Anyway, who hasn’t had a shag in the Wellington CBD? I recommend Astoria.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
About 10 years ago I went to Licks. Even though it is strictly look no touch I was very impressed with the good looking girls, the quality of the dances, the price of the beer, and the overall professionalism of the place. Is it still like this?
October 15th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Murray, if by that you mean closed and in your head? Yes it most certainly is.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Amen Cactus
October 15th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
rotfl, good one DPF!
October 15th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
“..“Thou shall not fraternise with those who have helped themselves to pocketsful of taxpayers funding”..”
but he really likes bill english..and phil heatley..and…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
October 15th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Murray, I bet you that the guy who used to own Lick was Pussy. Am I correct? Hehe, Phil U would love get a job there as a doorman.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Shagging in the CBD, done.
Licks was an excellent club as well, been there many a time. Murray is right, the girls there were good looking and actually pretty cool. Remember the rule – don’t touch the pussy!
October 15th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Hey Clint from one ex-Nelson boy to another, yes i remember the rule, in my case spoken to me by a real mean looking Samoan lady taking the entry fee at the door. Having not been to a strip club in NZ or Oz in many years what is the “entry fee” called? They don’t have them in Thailand or the Philppines.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
DPF, I think you maybe getting a bit msoigynist here. Try this:
Sometimes people do just need a good fuck, regardless of their gender or sexuality. And while I’ve never been sufficiiently desperate to do it in the toilet at a bar, (always held on to get to a bed, myself) I don’t think it is a good look to make fun of someone who is.
Horny is as horny does.
BYW, ever had a wank in a public toilet, when you are seriously turned on by someone, but they won’t play ball?
Any different, really?
[DPF: Toad really you are so politically correct, it is hilarious. Defending the lady in question from me making fun of her. As it happens she is a good mate of mine, I told her I would blog the conversation, and she has been laughing as all evening people have been phoning her asking if she is the un-named party.
So maybe you need to take your own advice about what to do when frustrated, rather than lecture me and call me one of those dreadful words ending in ist.
October 16th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Toad, that falls into the category of TMI. Waaaaay TMI.
October 16th, 2009 at 5:29 am
No doubt i she would have said the same thing if you’de dined at “Bellamy’s”…sad political groupie…it was probably Winston!
October 16th, 2009 at 6:04 am
I have shagged in a hell of a lot of places…..but (happily) never a toilet
October 16th, 2009 at 6:37 am
she could have a Shag, a Tui or a Kakapo in the toilet for all I care. I don’t give a shit what kind of birdlife she took with her while she did no 2s.
I trust that she must have had some sort of ‘Egret’ in the morning otherwise they wouldn’t be mentioning her ornithological exploits all these years later…
Personally, I’m visualising Vulture – and Albatross.
October 16th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Phillip Ure said ““..“Thou shall not fraternise with those who have helped themselves to pocketsful of taxpayers funding”..”
but he really likes bill english..and phil heatley..and…
phil(whoar.co.nz)”
That’s a bit rich coming from you Phil – how long since YOU paid any tax?
October 16th, 2009 at 8:44 am
And people bitched when I called toad a wanker…
October 16th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Why hasn’t anyone identified the most well-known patron of the Green Parrot, serial shagger, Maori, and well dressed man-about-town as the guy in question. It all fits, especially after he must’ve gotten a hard-on by being spanked by the Dear Leader of the day and just needed the relief as described by Toad.
I give you Luigi, Lothario of the beltway!
Its just gotta be (unless the lass in question is the dear old lady who is co-leader of the Maori PArty and then it doesn’t fit at all.)
October 16th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Yeah, I bet Winston remembers all their names.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:32 am
llew said “Yeah, I bet Winston remembers all their names.”
Dead right llew – Winston remembers EVERYTHING – except donations, trusts, and handing back Ministerial cars
October 16th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I think toad has to change his nickname to ‘horny_toad’
October 16th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
As someone who has worked at the Green Parrot (and later ‘eaten there with colleagues etc) I have to say there are many tales of goings-on at the Green Parrot. I remember plenty of interesting moments with key political and public sector people from around Wellington.
I am sure that Kosta, Angelo and Jimmy have many, many more stories.
October 16th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I think toad should have a few words with George Michael. Maybe he could impart some of his wisdom concerning self-gratification in public places.
October 16th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
amazing how David can drop in a tongue in cheek comment that can cause so many replies .. maybe she was lost for words regarding his name because it was in fact a girl??
October 16th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
now, at the risk of being called a racist, and I don’t believe I am, and in spite of my opposition of including the H, I would like to share this joke based on the post referring to a parrot .. by the way, I went to the pub in about the mid 80′s and what a shit hole .. anyway:
Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder .. the barman, or should I say bar person, said “where did you get that”? .. the parrot said “in Africa, there are millions of them”.
Sorry to those offended but I thought it was funny especially when you consider all the so called celebrities buying kids from there.
October 17th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Shagging in toliets and high fives… how the nights must just fly by in Wellington.