All over

June 10th, 2010 at 3:59 pm by David Farrar

You know your political career is all but over when the headline on Stuff is “Minister of Pornography”.

I doubt ’ line that he is a “red blooded adult” will go down now. The issue isn’t that Shane has watched – most men and many women have. The issue is that he charged it to the taxpayer.

There can be grey areas over what you can charge – such as meals etc. But no one could have a reasonable expectation that hotel porn is a legitimate work related expense.

There seem to have been a dozen or more of these movies charged to the taxpayer. In the UK the former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith lost her safe seat after revelations that her husband had charged one porn movie to the taxpayer.

Under MMP, one can’t vote Jones out of office. Only Labour can do so – he is their third highest ranked List MP. Ironically the winner out of all this may be Phil Goff – Jones certainly will not be challenging for the leadership any time soon. Also if Jones resigns, that brings back Judith Tizard!

Twitter has been hilarious today, with scores of people tweeting suggested titles for Shane’s movies. The Twitter channel is here, and well worth following. Some of the suggested titles are:

  • Hung Parliament
  • Black Rod
  • Foreign Affairs
  • Chief whip
  • The Honourable Member
  • Erect Committee
  • Private Secretary
  • Ministerial Probe
  • De-Briefing the Minister
  • Yes! Yes! Minister
  • Anti Smacking, Pro Spanking
  • Loves Labour Tossed
  • Withdraw And Apologise
  • Mixed Member Proportional
  • The bi-election
  • The Thick Of It
  • Parliamount
  • Ejaculated from the house
  • The State of Head
  • Crouching Taniwha, Horny Dragon
  • Debbie does Dannevirke
  • Emissions Trading Scheme
  • Rainbow Lay-bour

And many many more. They keep coming in every few seconds. So many wits.

Tags: , ,

137 Responses to “All over”

  1. Manolo (14,082 comments) says:

    And the best title in the tradition of ‘Debbie does Dallas’ is ‘Nick does New Zealand’.
    Literally, Mad Nick is fucking the whole country.

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  2. Hurf Durf (2,860 comments) says:

    You could say that Shane Jones’ political career was so brief it came and went.

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  3. big bruv (14,165 comments) says:

    Oh yes!

    Please, please, please let us have Judith Tizard back in the house.

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  4. george (388 comments) says:

    National needs Jones to resign because that would mean the return of Judith “Champagne” Tizard. Labour would never recover.

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  5. Whaleoil (767 comments) says:

    His official VRWC nickname is now “Tugger” Jones

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  6. Graeme Edgeler (3,290 comments) says:

    Are we sure it wasn’t “Anal Mana”?

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  7. Inventory2 (10,443 comments) says:

    Another movie title: Five Chins and Fore Skins

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  8. davidp (3,588 comments) says:

    Several years ago I had to sort out a spyware infection on an Australian state cabinet minister’s PC. He’d done nothing wrong (apart from being fooled by some spam or a link on an infected website), but was infected with something that was causing pornographic browser windows to appear. He really REALLY wanted it sorted out discretely so that he wouldn’t see a headline PORN FOUND ON MINISTER’S PC in the paper.

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  9. RightNow (7,013 comments) says:

    Fantastic, I’m looking forward to some upcoming dim-post satire on the matter, hopefully one that manages to incorporate all of those movie titles into a story.

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  10. first time caller (384 comments) says:

    Whale, I did love Mallard’s “Tigger Pig”…Maybe we could call Jones “Tugger Pig”? Tugger Pig, Tugger Pig, does whatever a Tugger Pig does….

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  11. BlairM (2,365 comments) says:

    No, I disagree. I think he will survive.

    He has fronted and he is penitent. And most NZ males have watched porn. He’s not going anywhere. It may delay the coup, but it will not delay it forever.

    Let’s put this in perspectve. A few bucks on porno versus a fifty million dollar cycleway? I know who I think is the biggest wanker.

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  12. lastmanstanding (1,304 comments) says:

    Brilliant Our own version of the House of Commons scandal. And the LEFTIES out point those of the RIGHT 100 to 1

    Well whose surprised. The arrogant 2 faced bastards of the LEFT always telling every one else what to do and what not to do and doing the opposite themselves.

    What a laugh. For those of us who had credit cards from the day they were introduced we were smart enough to have the company and the personal cards and even when pissed knew the RIGHT one to use.

    Some of us worked for companies where credit card use was very tightly ;policed and some of us were the Auditors of the company credit card expenditure and if you are going to rort the system get clever and use a supplier who provides a bona fide name and recepit that can be gotten past the Auditor.

    Get clever or get caught

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  13. nickb (3,696 comments) says:

    I am not normally a fan of the Stuff headlines, normal highlights have featured such gems as “Britney Spears’ dildo speaks out” and other assorted rubbish, but “Minister of Pornography” is just brilliant.

    On a more serious note for those too lazy to do our own research, what actually are the rules around credit cards? Are they solely for ministerial or govrenmental business? Obviously porn is outside the rules. But what else? All personal expenditure??

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  14. MikeNZ (3,234 comments) says:

    I don’t think he’ll roll over.
    Labour need him too much.

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  15. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Opening of Parliament

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  16. AlphaKiwi (683 comments) says:

    MPee.

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  17. Craig Ranapia (1,915 comments) says:

    Blair M:

    Nah, I don’t think the front foot went out soon enough — Labour knew this was going to happen months back and I guess we know know why their response to Messers Heatley and English was more muted than expected.

    And, sure, I’m not going to pretend I’ve never seen a porno. That would be a lie. But I’ve never had the had the brain-melthing chutzpah to try and charge it as a business expense. My masturbation aids are strictly self-financed.

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  18. Rex Widerstrom (5,354 comments) says:

    nickb notes:

    I am not normally a fan of the Stuff headlines, normal highlights have featured such gems as “Britney Spears’ dildo speaks out”

    It did? What about? Having pictures of its home splashed across the tabloids? Which would put it in the same category as John Minto… rather appropriate really.

    As far as Jones goes, yes “every red blooded NZ male” has watched porn. I’ve watched it, prior to interviewing a porn star. It was one of those that had pretensions of having a plot… which I misunderstood completely during the interview. I’m not sure what that says about my comprehension abilities…

    But porn watching demands a certain degree of furtiveness, as anyone who’s searched for the “delete history” button on their browser will attest. To rack it up on a government credit card bespeaks enormous arrogance, utter stupidity, or both. And yet he’s being picked as remaining a key Labour player?

    The porn star I interviewed proved to be remarkably intelligent. She already had an advanced degree and went on to make a fortune in real estate once her looks faded. On that basis, I’d rather entrust the country to the people making the porn than the buffoon caught watching it.

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  19. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    He saw, He came, He floundered.

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  20. kowtow (8,784 comments) says:

    I reckon Shane’s coup de main should lead to his coup de grace.

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  21. Patrick Starr (3,674 comments) says:

    I see Parekura Creosote stopped in for a chinese lunch . Was he on his own?

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  22. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Patrick Starr – reminds me of Billy T James old gag about pulling into KFC with the band on tour, and Prince Tui Teka doing the ordering “Four 2 litres of coke, 8 quarter packs, four buckets of bucket of wings, 4 tubs of potato and gravy… youse fellas want anything ?”

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  23. nickb (3,696 comments) says:

    The Standard response to this is hilarious- “not a big deal”

    What if it was JK renting toss films on our coin?

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  24. Muzza M (292 comments) says:

    “Not so Brown Meat”

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  25. Nick C (336 comments) says:

    The Nanny State

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  26. noodle (151 comments) says:

    Jones or Tizard? 2 drop-kicks. Christ, what a horrible choice for Goff. I’m loving it.

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  27. Eddie (288 comments) says:

    Whale,

    I prefer “Spanky” Jones as it’s a little more demeaning.

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  28. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    “…But no one could have a reasonable expectation that hotel porn is a legitimate work related expense….”

    stress-release…?

    a hard night..after a hard day..?

    any takers…?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  29. JiveKitty (778 comments) says:

    Heh, “Anal Mana”. @Graeme Edgeler: People got quite upset about that, didn’t they?

    I think he’ll recover from this.

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  30. American Gardener (556 comments) says:

    There can be grey areas over what you can charge – such as meals etc. But no one could have a reasonable expectation that hotel porn is a legitimate work related expense.

    Kiwiblog

    When your employer requires you to travel away from home as part of your employment it seems reasonable that they meet those fundamental human needs that are reasonably expected to be met at home. Why is it any less important for a persons sexual needs to be met than their need for shelter and food ?

    Paying $19.90 for a pornographic movie seems a bargain in comparison to the alternative.

    [DPF: One can masturbate without needing to watch a $20 porn movie]

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  31. PaulP (160 comments) says:

    On radio live this morning with Marcus Lush he admitted the movies but then went on to say they were not X-rated just main stream movies.

    So, again unless caught out by the cost indicating they were X-rated he would have continued to lie about it. That to me is worse than the original offence.

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  32. American Gardener (556 comments) says:

    phil u – employees deserve to be compensated for the inconvenience of being away from their homes and families. Shane Jones was saving the taxpayer a considerable sum by taking care of business himself.

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  33. davidp (3,588 comments) says:

    According to Jones: “I’ve had a severe bollocking from my leader Phil Goff which I thoroughly deserved”.

    I wonder if they filmed it?

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  34. rightofleftcentre (77 comments) says:

    Reverse the party roles and Mallard would’ve been quacking stridently all day.
    Where’s National’s lynch mobster?
    Oh, no need he’s hung himself quite effectively!

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  35. WestonMan (3 comments) says:

    How embarrassing. It just shows how out of touch Shane Jones must have been…After all, who pays for porn these days? Hasn’t this guy heard of the internet?

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  36. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    “[DPF: One can masturbate without needing to watch a $20 porn movie]”

    Hey hey steady on there young fellah. Some of us elderly dudes need all the help we can get!

    You will find out one day you young whipper-snapper you!

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  37. trout (945 comments) says:

    That Shane Jones should have ever been considered for leadership is a mystery. If he were not part Maori he would never have gained the status he pretends to have. He is glib, potty mouthed, and too clever by half. A feature of this expense scandal is that representatives of so-called disadvantage minorities (maoris, gays) are the MP’s that are being fingered. This is the inevitable outcome of PC labour wanting to be seen to be ‘rainbow’, whereby selected individuals are promoted beyond their competence. Time to set odds on where Jones, Carter, and Tizard will appear on the next Labout list; or will they do us all a favour and just disappear.

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  38. Inventory2 (10,443 comments) says:

    @ rightofleftcentre – the less that National MP’s say about this, the better. Shane Jones and Chris Carter are doing National’s job for them with great effectiveness ;-)

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  39. dime (10,135 comments) says:

    BAHAHAHA im loving this.

    shane jones earned my dislike when he was on ZB every week with holmes. condescending bastard.

    now if he had been buying hookers, he may have earned my respect

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  40. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    Specially if he bought one for you dime!

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  41. American Gardener (556 comments) says:

    DPF – yes it is possible to masturbate without watching a $20 porn movie just as it is possible to drink water out of the tap instead of drinking the bottled water in the mini bar. Both meet the basic physical need but do nothing to satisfy the emotional component of that need. Shane Jones would have been well within his moral rights to have engaged the service of an escort at the taxpayers expense.

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  42. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    Glad to see none of them used the ministerial card to purchase Viagra at $110 for four (not that I know the price of course).

    Still Jimbos spending hasn’t come in yet. :)

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  43. jaba (2,146 comments) says:

    I never saw Shane as a leader of the Labour party and he is fkd now anyway
    The devil in Mr Jones (similar to a real title .. apparently)
    I’m pissed off the revelations were so minor .. and yes they are minor
    to me the worst was Ririnui’s bike and stuff .. how can you disguise that as entertaining etc??
    the $ value of Horomia’s Chinese meals is stunning .. how many people could eat that much??
    Koru Clubs “excuse” was pathetic .. blamed everyone but himself

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  44. noskire (842 comments) says:

    And Annette King has reportedly responded by telling him to “put his head down and bottom up”. WTF?

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  45. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    “the $ value of Horomia’s Chinese meals is stunning .. how many people could eat that much??”

    Just him. :)

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  46. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    WTF: He is obviously going to star in the pornos from now on instead of just watching them.

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  47. Yvette (2,853 comments) says:

    Besides it being sad that Shane Jone’s wife has this is paraded on television before the nation, the other disappointment is that this somehow seems to take the pressure off Goff being unsuited to be Labour leader. That another contender for the job falls, should do him no good really.

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  48. Inventory2 (10,443 comments) says:

    @ jaba – it’s not over yet, not by a long stretch according to Barry Soper on Newstalk ZB. To paraphrase The Carpenters – “They’ve only just begun” ….

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  49. the deity formerly known as nigel6888 (852 comments) says:

    Yeah I too loved the way that Chris Carter took personal responsibility for his troughing by blaming his staff!

    what a man!

    An example to us all for his exemplary ethical standards, and his desire that responsibility lie where it falls (ahem)

    i guess his ever loyal team who have selflessly taken the fall for every other Carterism will be feeling doubly motivated to cover his arse next time.

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  50. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    .”..the other disappointment is that this somehow seems to take the pressure off Goff being unsuited to be Labour leader. That another contender for the job falls, should do him no good really.”

    oh contraire, Yvette, I think this shows Goff up for the lilly-livered charlatan that he is : http://monkeyswithtypewriter.blogspot.com/2010/06/smiling-assassin.html

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  51. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    “i guess his ever loyal team who have selflessly taken the fall for every other Carterism will be feeling doubly motivated to cover his arse next time.”

    Perhaps you should rephrase that sentence former nigel6888?

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  52. Manolo (14,082 comments) says:

    “Besides it being sad that Shane Jone’s wife has this is paraded on television before the nation,..”

    I don’t share the sentiment. The corrupt need to be exposed regardless of the pain and emotional cost involved. It’s the only way.

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  53. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    john boy you sound like my missis. . .

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  54. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    Bet I’m better looking. :)

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  55. Eddie (288 comments) says:

    Will he respect you in the morning though JohnBoy ;)

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  56. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    My prices are very reasonable so he should.

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  57. Angus (536 comments) says:

    John Tamihere on Jones ….

    “The women’s division of the Labour Party will never forgive this. They are powerful and they cross over the gay division and the union division of the party. He will likely be demoted from the front bench and his ability to survive in politics full-stop is yet to be seen.”

    Agreed. Jones is finished.

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  58. jaba (2,146 comments) says:

    I hope Soper is correct I2 .. it’s like watching a car crash .. I started to read Chris Caters Readablurt piece but the are nearly 200 replies .. close to a record for them .. and many red/left nut-jobs are unhappy with Koru Club

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  59. Fale Andrew Lesa (473 comments) says:

    “The women’s division of the Labour Party will never forgive this. They are powerful and they cross over the gay division and the union division of the party. He will likely be demoted from the front bench and his ability to survive in politics full-stop is yet to be seen.”

    This would be very harsh (under the assumption that it actually takes place), how does watching porn influence his ability to serve/perform as a front bench MP? It might be morally and ethically out of line but I don’t expect him to be alienated from the party via the women’s division based on porn alone.

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  60. Armotur (34 comments) says:

    Leaving aside comment about how Shane Jones spends his evenings in hotels. Most good size companies have similar rules to Government on acceptable expenses. The difference seems to be that most companies simply require you to reimburse personal cost, no stigma, no issue, just reimburse. When you pay your hotel bill with your company (Parliamentary) credit card do you also offer your personal credit card and split the bill? I guess MP’s have to, but isn’t reimbursement a more reasonable approach.

    I find the media punchup so much a waste of time and space, but typical of what we are served as news now. sad!

    I have no particular view on Jones but it seems an unnecessary intrusion into his personal life, for what, he repaid the taxpayers money!

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  61. Whafe (650 comments) says:

    This is all just absolutely beautiful……. This will wind up being Shane Jones most expensive tummy lob ever….. The man will never play the blue veined piccolo again. LMFAO

    He has well and truly fucked up here

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  62. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    Jesus, he watched a porno with a few dollars of taxpayer money, bad but worse things have been done.

    Didn’t Bill English claim for an accommodation allowance in Wellington when he lived in a family home?

    Hasn’t John Keys got trusts which could possibly benefit from national party policy?

    Peace :)

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  63. krazykiwi (9,186 comments) says:

    So it’s Jones’s “day of shame” ?? Bullshit.

    Jones’s shame is twofold : that he stole in the first place, and also that he thinks the shame only exists because he was caught.

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  64. Steve (4,593 comments) says:

    How much did Aunty Helen have to pay back? Nothing! squeaky clean.”this is your DVD right? get rid of it later”

    Now Koru Carter has only told us of what he spent taxpayer money on what he should not have, more interesting is what he did use taxpayer’s money for ……

    Goff, well goff goff evading and out of the country. No comment? 2010 technology and the dupidy does it?

    Now where is that mad duck Mallard? The one who goes on and on about expense abuse. Where the fuck are you Trevor Tigerpig? You have no comments to make about your colleagues? Attack time Trev, roll Goof now

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  65. krazykiwi (9,186 comments) says:

    I see Parekura Creosote stopped in for a chinese lunch . Was he on his own?

    Creosotian evidence is here :)

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  66. labrator (1,850 comments) says:

    Shane Jones would have been well within his moral rights to have engaged the service of an escort at the taxpayers expense.

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! Is American Gardener actually Chris Carter? Porn satisfies an emotional need? Hahahahaha.

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  67. trout (945 comments) says:

    Bloggers on Red Alert are very upset; the efforts by the dedicated few to trivialize the whole affair are falling on stony ground. And then there is Chris Carter; blame the staff, acknowledge a few indiscretions but no apology (while not fessing up to the many more); can this guy be believed?

    A comment by SHG: (re Carters explanation for the limo spend up)

    @paul: That’s the worst made-up-on-the-spot excuse I’ve ever heard.

    So what Carter is saying is that Hughes Limousines of Adelaide – the name on the receipt – was engaged by the Australian Government for diplomatic security reasons, and then Hughes Limousines charged Chris Carter’s personal credit card, and Hughes Limousines would have charged the Australian Government for its services, and the Australian Government according to Carter charged the NZ Government, and then the Australian Government paid Hughes Limousines, and Carter’s credit card bill was paid by the NZ Government and… wait, what?

    Seriously, Carter is expecting us to believe that the Australian Government charges the personal credit cards of overseas diplomats for the costs of Australian Government security policies relating to those diplomats’ visits? And that official Government diplomatic security policies involve hiring tiny limousine companies in Adelaide that specialise in winery tours?

    http://www.hugheslimousines.com.au

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  68. rightofleftcentre (77 comments) says:

    @ Angus: that simply shows how out of touch the Labour Party power brokers are with the real world – this is NOT about whether watched pornos (how many “red-blooded” males haven’t?), but about using a taxpayer funded credit card, provided for well defined work related expenses, to pay for them. If the women’s division of the LP wish to grandstand against porn, this is not the issue they should be using.

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  69. Jack5 (5,167 comments) says:

    Shane Jones did well tonight on TTVNZ’s Close Up programme.

    Here was a TV interviewer, who with others on TTVNZ 1 news earlier, touted for free crayfish from the Chathams. Now he was tsk-tsking about items on Jones’ and other MPs’ state credit cards.

    Here was a TV interviewer also tsk-tsking about Jones apparently having watched some blue movies. Later in the evening on sister TTVNZ channel, 2, there will be a serial set in a Melbourne brothel. TTVNZ channels (and others of course) from time to time broadcast soft porn offering sex-practice hints to selected couples where one member, at least, isn’t sexually satisfied by her or his partner. In NZ Jones could have watched this, free, rather than hiring a “blue” movie.

    What sort of a country are we becoming? We have all but thrown out Christianity and its morality and codes of behaviour. Now we pillory leaders who behave as the rest of us do.

    After his performance on Close Up tonight, if Jones stood in my electorate for National, ACT, or an as-yet to emerge centre-right party, I could easily vote for him.

    Not that the prudes are picking on the Left alone. Groser is doing a great job opening trade doors for NZ. So what if he spent a few hundred from his minibar lubricating foreign delegates at the Copenhagen meeting. Keep the grog flowing to Groser while he keeps opening doors.

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  70. RightNow (7,013 comments) says:

    Armotur: you’re frankly wrong.
    Companies typically require their employees to use their own method of payment and submit an expense claim, which is smart because it makes the employee far more careful of what they claim. The alternative to this is that a company supplies the credit card, but the rule is no personal expenditure on it, and breach of that rule is theft. Even when you’ve paid it all back there was a time there that you had use of the company’s money without their express consent. The only way it is not theft is if you have explicit permission ahead of time. Companies don’t like that, because you are then costing them additional interest/finance charges, and risk. So no, that is not how it works in the corporate world.
    Also, you will note that the rules for ministerial credit cards clearly state that they may not be used for personal expenditure. To do so is, for the exact same reasons as in the corporate world, theft.
    So in a corporate world we’d have the luxury of sacking the thieves on both sides of the house. And we wouldn’t be bloody replacing them either.

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  71. big bruv (14,165 comments) says:

    I gotta admit that I have enjoyed today more than I should have, I do try my best not to take pleasure at the misfortune of others but sometimes there are things that one just cannot look past.

    Jones and Labour deserve everything that is coming their way, many of us claimed they were corrupt and many of us suffered the abuse from the left (who still continue to spin this as “no big deal”) because of those claims.

    Having now reflected on this for the better part of the day and going back to read all the comments on the various blogs (many of which are bloody hilarious) I am left with the horrible feeling that there are a few on the centre right or right who are not much better than the pinkos over at the sub standard.

    When you boil it down we should be as outraged at the antics of ANY politician as we are outraged at the Labour ministers abuse of tax payer funds, it does not matter if the trougher is named Jones, Tizard, or Carter, equally it should not matter if they are named Hide, English, Brownlee or Heatley, the bastards are all as bad as each other.

    The question I have is this, while not defending Jones at all (he should resign) those of us who like to think we are not cheer leaders should still be equally outraged at the abuse of public funds when they happen to be from our side of the house.

    If it good enough for Jones to resign then it should be good enough for Bill English and Heatley to resign from the house as well, there cannot be rules for our “team” and rules for the other “team”.

    The sense of entitlement these bastards have is beyond belief, they treat each and every one of us like their personal ATM machine and I for one have had enough of it.

    Key and Goff could do worse than agree to make an example of one of their MP’s, if it means that English and Jones have to carry the can then so be it, the rest will then be on permanent notice that we the public will not put up with this shit any longer.

    http://clintheine.blogspot.com/

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  72. rightofleftcentre (77 comments) says:

    @big bruv: +1 – damn well put!

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  73. krazykiwi (9,186 comments) says:

    We have all but thrown out Christianity and its morality and codes of behaviour. Now we pillory leaders who behave as the rest of us do.

    As a Christian I’m perplexed by this pillory. Perhaps codes of behaviour are now seen as weapons for pulling others down, rather than guide keeping self in the right space. Dunno.

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  74. Caleb (479 comments) says:

    i think Whaleoil might agree with u too, Bigbruv.

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  75. Jack5 (5,167 comments) says:

    Rightnow at 8.04:

    ….Companies typically require their employees to use their own method of payment and submit an expense claim, which is smart because it makes the employee far more careful of what they claim. The alternative to this is that a company supplies the credit card, but the rule is no personal expenditure on it, and breach of that rule is theft. ..

    I don’t think Cabinet Ministers or their equivalents in the Opposition should be saddled with the same procedures as sales reps, but there is clearly something wrong with present Parliamentary accounting and procedures. Surely in these days of computerised accounting, big hotels can itemise and summarise accounts at the guest’s choice so that the account settled has two sections, one of which can be settled with a state credit card and the other with a personal one. If hotels can’t do this, isn’t there a screaming need for a private financial facility to do this?

    What about an online accounting service such as Xero? Why couldn’t Parliamentary Services use this so that MPs (or their secretaries) can flick through accounts assigning personal expenses to a personal account?

    Fix the system to match plastic payments and computerised accounts.

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  76. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    Yes Shane jones did something dodgy on :)”Mount Difficulty”:) and got caught out, but its cost the taxpayer nothing.

    Nick Smith on the other hand has just cost us all $250,000 with his deformation case…which he lost.

    Peace :)

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  77. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    There appears to be a red piece of snot (7) stuck to my screen. Weird!

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  78. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    Heh :)

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  79. Michael (911 comments) says:

    Just when you think Shane Jones is the worst, check out this clip from Romania

    http://cheezburger.com/View/4791553

    Yes, while he is in Parliament!

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  80. reflex (1 comment) says:

    So an MP has spent taxpayer’s money on watching porn all by himself ? Disgraceful. As a taxpayer myself, I think the only remedy is for Mr Jones to post the videos online, so that the people who paid for it can also get their fair share.

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  81. RKBee (1,344 comments) says:

    Jones certainly will not be challenging for the leadership any time soon. Also if Jones resigns, that brings back Judith Tizard!

    Judith Tizard she’s gone to… Jones Tizard and Carter all have lost their credibility by misusing their parliamentary cards. All now unsuitable for leadership… Leaving the way clear for Andrew Little to challage for leadership of the Labour Party.. And lets face it Labour need to clean the slate of the old guard and these MPs to start a fresh… Andrew Little is the best candidate not being a Labour MP… unless they can by chance find a John Key type candidate outside of parliament for themselves to lead the party.

    This also calls into question the MMP system and how the hell do we get rid of bad barstards list MPs.. when their party decides to keeps them on… So I say phuck MMP for that reason.

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  82. Armotur (34 comments) says:

    Rightnow:- Armotur: you’re frankly wrong.

    Well no, not in my experience, yours is clearly different.
    The companies I have associated with for over 40 years are typical large multinationals and supply company credit cards as I described and permitted personal expenditure which would subsequently have to be reimbursed. Agree misuse is serious as are consequences as you say, it is simply a practical arrangement which is based on trust. Also, the duty of care in such matters is there regardless of whether you have to fill out an expense claim or not.

    I guess my point is that parliament rule of no personal expenditure on a credit card makes it tough if you get it wrong, even if you reimburse. The idea of reimbursement would avoid all of the media hype for those that made an honest attempt to repay personal expenditure.

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  83. Hurf Durf (2,860 comments) says:

    Where’s RRM and mickysavage to defend their beloved party?

    [DPF: RRM is left, but no Labour lackey. Mickysavage though is incapable of independent thought from Labour]

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  84. burt (8,324 comments) says:

    American Gardener

    Paying $19.90 for a pornographic movie seems a bargain in comparison to the alternative.

    OMG, you haven’t thought this through have you. OK, OK I can tell you’re a lame spin Dr trying desperately to make it seem OK that a minister of the crown expected tax payers to front for his porn movies but hang on a minute.

    Lets say the member is female, and has say a collection of things she like to choose from to assist her. Is it reasonable the company pay excess baggage for these items or should she be able to purchase them locally when she reaches her destination? If we are talking basic human rights provided by the company well I think one of mine is fellatio in lunch breaks, there is a brothel near where I work a fair bit so I should be able to claim it as a tax deduction right?

    Good help us when we need to provide for the basic human rights of somebody with an animal fetish, travel arrangements will need to be sensitively managed.

    FFS, if he was working as a male prostitute then sure porno is permissible as a work expense – for an MP – Bugger off!

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  85. RKBee (1,344 comments) says:

    What makes me laugh if Shane Jones engaged in the real service of an escort he would have been protected by privacy act and we and media would have never known.

    Which makes me wonder how many and how much of the cabinet ministers personal spending has been protected under the act.

    For exsample: Shane Jones also had the service of escorts… how do we know as it would have been deemed to sensitive.

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  86. Grendel (1,005 comments) says:

    the point is armotur that they made no effort to payit back after the fact, until they got caught.

    i agree its probably easier to pay for the lot on the minsterial card and then pay back minsterial services for the bits you know are personal than trying to work it out at the time. but the rules say they cannot.

    Carter being caught 6 years after the fact and now saying he should pay it back is way too late. if however he made personal expenses at the time on the card but paid each on back the next month when the statement came through i would be happy with that, as it would show an undertanding that the money is not theirs (even if its not the offical rules).

    as it is they used tax payer money to feather their own next, again.

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  87. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    so what is wrong with porn ?

    DPF, you’re not married and as far I know do not have a girlfriend, surely you of all people are the last one to condemn someone for having a flick off the wrist

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  88. Fairfacts Media (372 comments) says:

    If Jones had half a brain, you would think he would fear he would be recognised, that hotel staff would note what films he watched and tip off the media, if there was a story.
    Why haven’t we enjoyed gossipy snippets about his viewing habits?
    I am sure hotels are meant to be discreet but what is stopping some poorly paid staffer from tipping off Rachel Glucina or whoever that Minister such-and-such watched this film and that firm at such a time.
    Funny thing is, we do not yet know the names of the movies watched.
    When the husband of the former British Home Secretary was revealed for watching movies and then claiming for them, there was a rather unusual suprise in his choice of movie.
    The Daily Telegraph suggested one of the movies he saw was Raw Meat 3, apparantly a gay movie!
    http://bookkake.com/2009/03/31/by-special-request-raw-meat-3/
    Has anyone checked to see if Jones was watching gay porn.
    That would make his humiliation so complete!

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  89. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    Big Bruv

    You are suggesting that Jones should resign for watching porn…wooopdeeedo

    What are your thoughts about Grozner and McCully getting completly shitfaced and making decisions on behalf of New Zealand.

    Lets put in perspective.

    Jones has a wank,

    Grozner and McCully are negociating on behalf of NZ, whilst pissed

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  90. Patrick Starr (3,674 comments) says:

    anyone who heard Susan Wood get absolutely stuck into ‘shakin’ Shane Jones on ZB this evening at about 5.30 would have to agree it was her best performance ever

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  91. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    +1 to that Ratty,

    Although we should not forget he did do this and spend taxpayer money in the process,

    but did pay it back later.

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  92. Armotur (34 comments) says:

    Well Grendel my points are related to those that paid back without pressure, no debate on those that attempted to get away with it.

    I’m suggesting that the current rules on no personal expenditure at all make it tough to judge at times. On those occasions reimbursement (without outside coercion) seems practical and avoids this media beat up.

    Those that commit fraud in these circumstances should suffer the due course of law.

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  93. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    Comrade

    Some get pissed, but dont need to pay it back, its part of government business

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  94. Armotur (34 comments) says:

    Patrick Starr: Shaking Shane.

    Yes but of course he has had a very long day, or suffering withdrawal symptoms from whatever.

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  95. Patrick Starr (3,674 comments) says:

    Susan Wood – Shane Jones (from 14:42 onwards)

    http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/thisweek/hourrecs/Thu,%20Jun%2010%2017.00%20trn-newstalk-zb-akl.asf

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  96. big bruv (14,165 comments) says:

    Comrade Greenie

    Want to talk about your very own little troughers Fitzsimons and Mad Delahunty?

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  97. Jack5 (5,167 comments) says:

    Watch for the headlines tomorrow, Friday.

    The hacks will play hell with one of the most famous Western movie quotes:”Don’t Go, Shane”.

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  98. RightNow (7,013 comments) says:

    Jack5 and Armotur, well sorry I’m not one of those big wigs with that type of company card, and I can’t say I know of any companies that would still do that in 2010 (no doubt you do). But I also don’t think our politicians should have one like that either. Look at their behaviour! It actually makes me wonder if some of them are too fiscally irresponsible to maintain their own finances, that they need to resort to using someone else’s money. Quite clearly the rules state the ministerial credit card is not to be used for personal expenditure. To use it even once for personal expenditure is theft.

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  99. Caleb (479 comments) says:

    “do you have a problem with porn mr jones!”

    lol

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  100. Yvette (2,853 comments) says:

    “The hacks will play hell with one of the most famous Western movie quotes:”Don’t Go, Shane”.”

    I hope to hell they don’t – that is one of my favourite movies of all time, having seen it first release and all. Don’t ruin a classic.

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  101. Viking2 (11,576 comments) says:

    Corruption watchdog to investigate Macdonald’s expenses
    The Independent Commission Against Corruption will probe a 2008 trip to the Middle East by former NSW Labor minister Ian Macdonald, after a government report found he misused public funds.

    The report by director general of the Department of Premier and Cabinet, Brendan O’Reilly, says the taxpayer footed the bill for airfares, meals and other transportation worth nearly $6000

    Mr Macdonald, who was state and regional development minister, resigned from cabinet last Friday, and from the Legislative Council on Monday, over the allegations.

    http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/corruption-watchdog-to-investigate-macdonalds-expenses-20100610-xznx.html?autostart=1

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  102. Johnboy (17,018 comments) says:

    Just for you Yvette:

    “The movie closes with Joey shouting “Shane! Come back!” as he watches Shane riding into the mountains. The film does not explicitly mention whether or not Shane survived the wound he received in the shootout. This has led to sometimes heated discussions among fans of the film, as depicted in the film The Negotiator. However, in the last scene in the film, Shane is riding up into the mountains far away from where the gunfight took place. Furthermore, the wound Shane received was likely to be fatal, as Shane is shown slouched in the saddle similar to a dying man.”

    There it is folks. History repeating itself. A fatal wound. :)

    ( Alan Ladd never had several chins or watched pornos of course.)

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  103. Viking2 (11,576 comments) says:

    We can now know where plane Shane got his management idea’s from. Direct from the Blue Virgin ( alias King Dick ). I kid you not.

    Virgin Blue condoned porn, claim sacked workers
    PAUL BIBBY
    June 10, 2010 – 11:45AM

    Sharing pornography has been commonplace in the offices and staff rooms of Virgin Blue for years, a group of workers sacked by the airline claim.

    And they say that, far from objecting to the practice, airline management openly condoned it.

    (no wonder he doesn’t fly Airnz. No porn on the inflights.)

    It is understood Virgin is undertaking a company-wide investigation into pornography use, with everyone from engineers to cabin crew having their computers scanned by high-tech computer programs that check email inboxes for skin-toned images.

    A Virgin Blue spokeswoman said the airline would “defend our actions vigorously”.

    http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/virgin-blue-condoned-porn-claim-sacked-workers-20100610-xxvq.html

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  104. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    Our government works in mysterious ways ratty

    @ Big Bruv, What have they done to gain your attention?

    Their pot farms fund the government treasuries i’ll have you know :)

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  105. Chuck Bird (4,929 comments) says:

    “anyone who heard Susan Wood get absolutely stuck into ’shakin’ Shane Jones on ZB this evening at about 5.30 would have to agree it was her best performance ever”

    Agreed. She pointed out the fact that he is also liar. On Mike Hoskings show he said. “I am a movie buff but do not make a habit of watching buff movies”. He tried to weasel out by saying< I said made a habit. She pointed out he was trying to "play with words and repeated that he lied. Much better than the cushy ride Campbell gave Len Brown.

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  106. big bruv (14,165 comments) says:

    “@ Big Bruv, What have they done to gain your attention?”

    They breath valuable oxygen that could be better used by a productive member of our society.

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  107. Spoff (275 comments) says:

    There is a great deal of comment and even a headline implying that Jones spent “taxpayer’s” money on porn. Let us be fair, he did not do any such thing. He reimbursed the public purse for personal expenses as any company rep would do. So what are we left with? He availed himself of a service that is provided by most Hotels perfectly legally – adult movies.
    Well what company rep hasn’t?
    For as long as New Zealand demands that it’s politicians adhere to a moral standard way beyond that of it’s average citizens, it will be ruled by liars.
    Jones’ candour has been a breath of fresh air in the fetid atmosphere of hypocrisy that has come to pervade NZ politics. It is with great regret that I view what may be the eclipse of a very bright star.

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  108. V (750 comments) says:

    Nobody’s mentioned ‘Shafting the Taxpayer’

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  109. PaulL (6,048 comments) says:

    RKBee: simple. Don’t vote for parties that have MPs on their list that you don’t like. Pretty obvious I would have thought.

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  110. Comrade Greenie (31 comments) says:

    Surely no one is more entitled to their fair share of oxygen than the ones who are campaigning for cleaner air in NZ?
    Your logic is foolproof I must say.

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  111. big bruv (14,165 comments) says:

    “Jones’ candour has been a breath of fresh air in the fetid atmosphere of hypocrisy that has come to pervade NZ politics. It is with great regret that I view what may be the eclipse of a very bright star.”

    You are overlooking one thing Spoff….Jones bloody well lied about it, prior to 9am this morning Jones denied watching porn, it is quite clear that the only reason he coughed up to it was because there was no way of toughing it out, he (Jones) had been caught.

    The watching of porn is not something I am going to condemn the man for, however, what I do find unforgivable is that he changed that porn back to the tax payer, and whats-more, he only reimbursed the public when it became clear that he could not get away with it.
    If he wants to watch porn in the privacy of his hotel room then as far as I am concerned he can knock himself out, just do not charge it to the credit card that we pay for.

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  112. American Gardener (556 comments) says:

    so it is ok for Tim Groser to spend $1300 on a meal in Lima but its not ok for Shane Jones to spend $20 on a porno movie in Auckland ? If people think that Jones should have just taken care of himself for free why don’t we insist politicians eat at Mc Donalds ?

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  113. Grendel (1,005 comments) says:

    Spoff did he reimburse before or after they announced they would be reviewing the expenditure. makes a massive fucking difference.

    i suspect he only repaid it once he realised he would be caught, there is no character in that. character would be either not doing it at all, or on a very rare occasion that he had to use the work card, payng it back the next month, not when there is an enquiry.

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  114. burt (8,324 comments) says:

    ‘Shane Jones in the hands on glans expenditure’.

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  115. Grendel (1,005 comments) says:

    AG, it depends on what it was for. if grosers expenditure was legitimate minsterial expense, then yes i am ok with it. as trade minister he probably will spend more than most.

    however i can see no justification for buying porn on the taxpayers.

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  116. Gooner (995 comments) says:

    Points of Order starring Shane Jones.

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  117. krazykiwi (9,186 comments) says:

    so it is ok for Tim Groser to spend $1300 on a meal in Lima but its not ok for Shane Jones to spend $20 on a porno movie in Auckland ?

    Yes, that’s correct. The first expense is within the rules, and the second is outside the rules. The amount has nothing to do with it.

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  118. Spoff (275 comments) says:

    Grendel.
    To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. From what I have read it seems he reimbursed long before it became an issue.
    Perhaps this debate should focus on that.

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  119. dad4justice (8,313 comments) says:

    I hope that fat slob enjoys the email I just sent the parasitic low down creep!!! Scum of the earth.

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  120. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    DJ4
    Gerry Brownlee has nothing to do with this, you gutter snipe you

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  121. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    The debit and Mr Jones

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  122. Manolo (14,082 comments) says:

    “Jones’ candour has been a breath of fresh air in the fetid atmosphere of hypocrisy that has come to pervade NZ politics. It is with great regret that I view what may be the eclipse of a very bright star.”

    Since when masturbating on the publci teat is called “candour”. Spare me the sanctimonious defense of the indefensible.
    If Jones is a “bright star” then Carter and Tizard must be “super novas” in your book. Both are frauds and cheats in mine.

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  123. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Given that Jones says he watches these movies because he’s a film buff, maybe he could enlighten us all with a review of these artworks and tell us all about the nuanced qualities of writing, acting and directing that attracted his refined tastes?

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  124. larryq (66 comments) says:

    Cabinet Office Manual

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  125. david (2,564 comments) says:

    Oh how this would have played out differently if Shane had a Julie Andrews fetish.

    Is it the nature of the movies or is it the fact of charging movies to the hotel account – a purely electronic transaction with no options for charging seperately.

    Should Ministers be not allowed to use hotel telephones because they incur massive charge-up margins?
    Should Ministers be allowed a bottle of water from the mini-bar but not a beer? (Try drinking from the tap in Yemen or American Samoa, you will be lucky to make it home)
    Should Ministers be allowed a meal in the hotel restaurant but not a packet of nuts while reading the day’s briefings?
    Should the leader of a delegation of 10 or more people be authorised to shout for the team during a 10 day conference/negotiating session?
    Should Ministers have to carry their own soap poweder and wash their shirts/socks/undies in the hotel bath each night as well as iron and press their suits and shirts while being interviewed at some ungodly time-zone differential on NewstalkZB’s morning show? (Chris Carter would have to be excepted because he seems to always have had his “wife” along with him to drive and keep him company.)

    C’mon BB and all the others who haven’t the faintest idea of the workloads or practical matters faced by these people, come up with a set of workable rules different from the one that principally says “no private expenditure on the CC”

    If you can’t then take a deep breath and think for a couple of hours about what is motivating you to tmake some of the stupidest statements I have seen since I last looked at The Standard.

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  126. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Seats Taken by Large Majorities

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  127. queenstfarmer (782 comments) says:

    Another suggested title: Broke Back Benches

    (sorry, coming late to this party)

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  128. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Through the Museum Street Entrance

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  129. RightNow (7,013 comments) says:

    david – it’s the nature of the movies. One company my wife worked allows that watching a movie is reasonable but they explicitly state no R18 movies to be charged to the company cc.

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  130. RightNow (7,013 comments) says:

    American Gardener – “If people think that Jones should have just taken care of himself for free ”

    FFS the man had a wife waiting for him back at home. He couldn’t wait two days?
    If it is too much to expect he can’t go two or three days without having to get his rocks off then you’d think he’d figure that out on the first trip and make provisions next time (like get some porn off the internet, or remember to take his eftpos card so the charge wouldn’t appear on his ministerial CC).

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  131. david (2,564 comments) says:

    RightNow, it woyuld appear that he was more concerned that his wife would conduct an audit of the bank spend than the taxpayers. Bad judgement call in the long run I’d say.

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