OMG Hawke’s Bay Confessions

September 6th, 2012 at 7:47 am by David Farrar

Stuff reports:

A page boasting of sordid sexual exploits, robberies and misadventures has painted Hawke’s Bay as a hotbed of morally questionable behaviour – and home to a good many people with poor spelling and grammar.

OMG Hawke’s Bay Confessions has attracted more than 3000 “likes” in the five days it has been running, as people anonymously reveal their infidelities, boast about where they’ve had sex, and even own up to robbing someone for revenge. …

Hastings Mayor Lawrence Yule was appalled at the page.

“I just think it’s rubbish; it’s not worth the stuff it’s written on.”

Napier Mayor Barbara Arnott said it appeared to be a platform for “non-thinking low-lifes” to play out “perverted fantasies”.

She doubted the truthfulness in the posts but worried that the page had the potential to spiral out of control. “It’s anonymous at this stage but it has the potential to be hurtful to individuals.” …

Confession pages exist for other New Zealand towns and cities but pages viewed by The Dominion Post yesterday were not as active or as graphic in detail.

OMG (oh my god) Wellington Confessions has 29 likes and a policy of not posting any secrets about rape, violence or abuse.

Dunedin Confessions, with four likes, states “nothing too cruel will be put up”.

Oh Good God, get over it. For those interested the page is here.

The appalling grammar suggests that it is indeed HB locals using it. Some fine prose examples:

well when i was 15 i went to hawkes bay for my cousins 16th and i was still a virgin, i ended up hooking up with her cousin and cheated on my bf i had been with fr two years ooops and he always said to me that he would wait until i was ready, i guess he just wasnt there when i was ready

Actually that one may be false. Someone still a virgin at 15 in Hawkes’s Bay?

Was at a party once with couple of the boys. Walked into one of the rooms and caught my gfs brother getting sucked off haha. He then looks at me pulls down her pants and tells me to help him out. I thort fuck-it and jumped right in there! He haznt said a word to anyone! Best brother-inlaw in the world right? Haha

His sister may disagree!

Rather than try to close the page down, they should use it as scripts for a soap opera!

7 Responses to “OMG Hawke’s Bay Confessions”

  1. Brian Smaller (4,332 comments) says:

    Too many ferals with too much time on their hands. Where are the confessions from horny middle class MILFs? I was disappointed.

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  2. kowtow (13,193 comments) says:

    New Zealand,slowly but surely becoming the South Seas version of the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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  3. capitald (69 comments) says:

    I completely agree. They have done the operators of the page a favour by drawing attention to it.

    I like the fact that I can use a Facebook group like this to gain an insight into the strange world of our provincial commoners, without ever having to actually meet them.

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  4. nasska (16,742 comments) says:

    Couldn’t agree more ‘kowtow’. Sex, drugs & Rock ‘n Roll are rife throughout the land. Everywhere we look the hand of Satan is upon us…..fornication is ‘de jour’ & people struggle to walk three blocks to church without being approached for oral or anal.

    We need to take action. Summon the missionaries for only they can get the natives to cover their nakedness, abandon their wicked ways & sit in a cupboard under the stairs reading the Bible by candlelight.


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  5. SalParadise (54 comments) says:

    I don’t understand why the mayors quoted thought it was a good idea to comment on the story.

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  6. RRM (12,545 comments) says:

    Use condoms, kids.

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  7. Dave Mann (1,761 comments) says:

    Actually, this is about the level of grammar seen daily in the comments sections of most blogs, including this one unfortunately, David. The standard of English has degenerated to amazingly low levels across the board with the rise of the digital age. I know a teacher who regularly texts in gibberish (even though she must have predictive text and effectively no character limit) and I wonder how she could possibly teach English if this is how she communicates on a day-to-day level. Look for further decline. Soon we will be viewing most Facebook and blog postings as if they in a foreign language.

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