General Debate 6 October 2012

October 6th, 2012 at 8:00 am by Kokila Patel
Tags:

112 Responses to “General Debate 6 October 2012”

  1. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    aha Done it.

    http://screencast.com/t/sU6beDxO0

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  2. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    http://screencast.com/t/0EKad7PMYZ

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  3. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    And for all those coming along to moan and complain today.

    http://screencast.com/t/87DulHEu6

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  4. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    And lots of kudos to a great Kiwi company.

    Trawler refit a bonus for marine firms
    BILL MOORE
    Last updated 13:00 05/10/2012

    The multi-million dollar job to repair and refurbish the fire-damaged Amaltal Columbia will be done at Port Nelson and mainly by Nelson companies, its owners say.

    Talley’s Nelson division chief executive Tony Hazlett said today he planned to have the trawler back fishing at the end of April after six months of work.

    The deepsea factory trawler was the subject of a dramatic crew rescue last month when a fierce fire swept through the factory deck and caused the captain to issue an abandon ship order 75 kilometres offshore. It was towed into Lyttelton and then to Nelson, arriving on September 17.

    Mr Hazlett said the cost was still being assessed but it would be in the millions.

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelson-mail/news/7774680/Trawler-refit-a-bonus-for-marine-firms

    Makes those Iwi etc hiring Koreans look like the arsewipes they really are.

    Well done Kiwi.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  5. Scott Chris (6,176 comments) says:

    Disgruntled liberals discuss merger

    Political minnows the Libertarianz will today discuss merging with disgruntled Act supporters and even a cannabis reform group to form a liberal political party under a new brand to contest the next general election.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  6. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    Due to a quirk of the last election result Peter Dunne ends up effectively having one of the casting votes in Parliament. He is sometimes criticised for being a National yes man (I think that’s closer to the mark with John Banks) or for being in the pocket of special interest groups. From what I’ve seen this is hissy dissy nonsense.

    As per the United Future’s coalition agreement with National there is a commitment to vote with National on Confidence & Supply bills. But where there is a choice, United Future determines his vote.

    I’ve communicated with Peter (Dunne) a number of times on bill voting and he has always referred to and followed United Future policy and principles in making his decisions. And he is always willing to discuss, consider and explain policy positions.

    He is obviously a major component of the party but he doesn’t fly solo. In a recent speech Dunne explained his voting decisions – How Peter Dunne votes.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  7. Sofia (862 comments) says:

    Key in Los Angeles
    The PM confirmed that the chief executive of the Motion Picture Association of America, Chris Dodd, had raised the Dotcom Megaupload issue “in passing” during the dinner. “He just essentially noted that the case was ongoing in New Zealand, and I just confirmed that and said yes. He didn’t dwell on that.”
    Mr Key said the studio heads at the dinner “talked a bit about intellectual property, but really more in the context of TPP and those negotiations”.
    “Obviously they’re making the case that they invest hugely in the creation of intellectual property and it’s critically important for their capacity to continue to be able to invest for that intellectual property to be protected.”
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10838732

    Of the two subjects, I would be more concerned about the TPP.
    Is it going to be dumped on us after it is signed – a fait accompli?

    Just as we are going to find the lop-sided committee writing our draft Constitution will enshrine the Treaty of Waitangi into it so we never get rid of the fucking ambiguous badly written ancient real estate agreement that it is.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  8. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    The excessive interest in Dotcom just shows how obsessive media can be over very narrow ‘issues of the day’.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  9. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    Just as we are going to find the lop-sided committee writing our draft Constitution…

    What committee is writing which draft Constitution?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  10. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    Have you been asleep in the south Pete?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  11. bringbackdemocracy (428 comments) says:

    Ha ha ha, United Future and Peter Dunne having principles, ha ha he ha ha.
    That’s the best one I’ve heard for a while.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  12. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    bringbackdemocracy (45) Says:
    October 6th, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Ha ha ha, United Future and Peter Dunne having principles, ha ha he ha ha.
    That’s the best one I’ve heard for a while.

    He has. an overriding principle that is called self preservation in my own interests.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  13. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    Any politician who’s been around for a few decades accumulates hissy dissers. And some accumulate praise.

    “All MPs would acknowledge he had a greater capacity to broker a broad consensus than anybody else in the House,”
    Hon Dr Nick Smith, Minister for the Environment, NZ Herald

    “In Peter Dunne we found a man of honour and integrity,”
    Right Hon John Key, Prime Minister

    “The one constant in the Key ministry has been UnitedFuture leader Peter Dunne, who as with his previous arrangement with Helen Clark’s government, has been thoroughly reliable and scandal free.”
    Neale McMillan, South Pacific News Service

    “… that great servant of the Wellington people, Peter Dunne,”
    Duncan Garner, Political Editor TV3

    “High quality Minister, on top of it in the House.”
    Trans Tasman 2010 Roll Call

    “My experience of Peter is he’s … very hard-working, very intelligent and … an extremely articulate politician.”
    Right Hon John Key, Prime Minister

    Peter Dunne “is upfront with voters and one of Parliament’s best communicators,” John Armstrong, New Zealand Herald

    “The sense and sensibility award goes to United Future leader Peter Dunne for speaking out against political correctness gone made,” Jo Doolan, Independent Financial Review

    He “has managed to ‘keep the government honest’ despite being a minister outside Cabinet,” David Young & Ben Thomas, NBR

    “Peter Dunne is seen around Parliament as Mr Responsible. If there is something serious, measured and considered to be said about anything then he is the one to say it,” Barry Soper, Newstalk ZB

    “Peter Dunne has always impressed as a fair minded politician,” Gisborne Herald

    “Mr Dunne has a deserved reputation as a voice of reason in current politics,” Greymouth Evening Star

    “… an almost lone voice of sanity,” Bill Ralston, Herald on Sunday

    “Brilliant commonsense from the MP of commonsense,” Paul Henry, TV1 Breakfast

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  14. bhudson (4,740 comments) says:

    @Scott Chris,

    Some might suggest that is just the cure that ACT [the non-disaffected supporters] need

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  15. Scott Chris (6,176 comments) says:

    “Peter Dunne is a political slut” – Albert Einstein

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  16. joana (1,983 comments) says:

    PG
    For your list…the one MP who truly helped me ; who listened , who acted promptly , who overturned a senseless , burauratic decision which would have had a huge impact on myself and consequently my family..As I remember it , he worked exceptionally hard for his local people. He was regarded as ”the problem solver.” You had a problem , you went to Peter Dunne. This was widely known.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  17. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    Oh and do you remeber the other people he partnered with. What happened to them?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  18. bringbackdemocracy (428 comments) says:

    Peter Dunne voted against the anti-smacking law at it’s first reading and for it at it’s second reading.
    He voted against civil unions and for gay marriage.
    Of course he appeals to everyone some of the time.
    He’s a man of other peoples convictions.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  19. Stamper (32 comments) says:

    Ports sign with new union
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10838751

    Bye bye Parsloe

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  20. Redbaiter (9,503 comments) says:

    A combined 22 posts in the first hour of Kiwiblog by stars Pete George and Viking2.

    With strong support roles by Scott Chris, bhudson and Keeping Stock.

    What a monumental yawn.

    No damn wonder is it that Whale Oil is beating Kiwibog by light years in page views.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  21. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    He’s a man of other peoples convictions.

    As he should be. He represents the convictions of his party (which he has a significant influence in), and the convictions of his constiuents.
    It seems odd that someone calling themselves bringbackdemocracy would question a politician changing with the times and public opinion.

    Peter Dunne voted against the anti-smacking law at it’s first reading and for it at it’s second reading.

    Hadn’t it changed significantly? And there was substantial political and public discussion to guage.

    He voted against civil unions and for gay marriage.

    Nearly a decade apart. Times and opinions change.

    I wasn’t involved in civil union discussions but I have been a (small) part of the current marriage bill debate. I’ve seen Dunne listen and consider party and public sentiment. He has voted based on that and on his own views. As any decent politician should.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  22. MT_Tinman (3,250 comments) says:

    bringbackdemocracy (46) Says:
    October 6th, 2012 at 9:43 am
    Peter Dunne voted against the anti-smacking law at it’s first reading and for it at it’s second reading.
    He voted against civil unions and for gay marriage.
    Of course he appeals to everyone some of the time.
    He’s a man of other peoples convictions.

    Well put sir.

    Notably his followers meet that description as well.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  23. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    Wrong MT-Tinman.

    I was for both civil unions and gay marriage.
    I was for tidying up smacking and child assault laws but wasn’t happy with the final result of the smacking law.

    But I do agree that politicians should try and appeal to everyone (or as many people as possible) as much as possible. And I agree that they should try and represent other people’s convictions.

    Somehow I don’t think you’re intending to praise him or his followers but in effect you are by highlighting what politicians can and should be able to do. Thanks.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  24. Paulus (2,658 comments) says:

    Am still concerned re GCSB – the media have nothing to better to repeat, but as the real opposition to Key, they keep on with their “Ambrose” moment.
    GCSB were found guilty of accepting from the Police that Dotcon, a convicted criminal overseas, was not a New Zealand Resident under the law, at the time of information request, as to his and others whereabouts at a particular time.
    Key has slammed them as head of their Ministry for not checking that this information was correct.
    If the police at Head Office level told me that black was still black I would accept that, wouldn’t you ?
    Getting bored with this – “Move On” (H.Clark)
    Can’t – have FA else to do to keep my job.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  25. Lindsay Addie (1,587 comments) says:

    Latest polling from the US elections reflecting the voters intentions post the debate.

    Ohio:
    Rasmussen: Romney 49 – Obama 50
    WeAskAmerica: Romney 50 – Obama 49

    Florida:
    Rasmussen: Romney 49 – Obama 47
    WeAskAmerica: Romney: 49 – Obama 46

    Virginia:
    Rasmussen: Romney 49 – Obama 48
    WeAskAmerica: Romney 48 – Obama 45

    In Florida the swing to Romney is in the region of 4-6%.

    Naturally the MOE must be borne in mind with these polls so it is more important to look at the trends and not get too hung up in the actual figures.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  26. Fletch (6,486 comments) says:

    The new James Bond movie theme song: Skyfall, by Adele. (full version)

    I don’t think much of it. It seems very derivative of past Bond themes, but then most Bond themes are based around the original Monty Norman theme.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  27. calendar girl (1,261 comments) says:

    PG: “He represents the convictions of his party (which he has a significant influence in)

    I’ve got some time for Dunne’s Ministerial work to date, particularly the overdue clean-up work going on in Inland Revenue’s area. But I’m less convinced about the guidance and influence supposedly coming from his “Party”. To the average punter UF seems to be an entity of meagre substance.

    Can you tell us: (1) How many registered, financial members does UF have at the present time? and (2) How many UF electorate candidates won more than 1,000 personal votes in the 2011 general election?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  28. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    From what I’ve seen this is hissy dissy nonsense.

    Entirely true. Dunne only looks after himself. Period.

    The political prostitute from Ohariu-Belmont always looks for the highest bidder to whom to rent his lamentable body, and so secure a ministership. Nothing else matters to Dunne.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  29. Reid (16,632 comments) says:

    Nothing else matters to Dunne.

    No Dunne isn’t venal like Winston and he does a great job as Revenue Minister, as one would if one were there for as many terms as he has been. But he’s mealy, that’s his problem. He stands for nothing.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  30. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    The Messiah about to be hit by: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/10/04/Report-Obama-Campaign-Trying-To-Block-Story-About-Blockbuster-Donor-Scandal-After-Raising-Over-150-Million-In-September

    According to the Washington Examiner, “a taxpayer watchdog group conducted a nine-month investigation” and uncovered “thousands of cases of credit card solicitations and donations” to the Obama campaign. Many of those donations have allegedly come from overseas and may be in violation of federal election laws.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  31. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    Nothing less than from the liberal The New Yorker.
    To add insult to injury: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2012/10/cover-story-the-first-presidential-debate.html

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  32. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    To the average punter UF seems to be an entity of meagre substance.

    Regarding numbers of members and supporters that’s a fair call.

    But there is a solid core in the party, and there is plenty of substance and detail to party policy.

    Can you tell us: (1) How many registered, financial members does UF have at the present time?

    No, I don’t know, I’ve never known how many members are in the party, I’m not that close to the administration. I do know it’s a struggle keeping membership numbers up. At this stage of the cycle it’s not so important but if the party is to survive it will need to have a more healthy membership two years from now.

    A major problem is that the party appeals most to those who are least inclined to be active in politics. Political activists are more likely to get with a more radical politcal group – but that ignores the fact that the UF party as it is now could become a ready made vehicle for promoting strong political agendas, albeit centerish.

    (2) How many UF electorate candidates won more than 1,000 personal votes in the 2011 general election?

    Probably just Peter Dunne, but that was the critical one. I know that other candidates helped him more than helped themselves in their own electorates. That’s MMP pragmatism.

    The media isn’t interested in most electorate contests. The ODT had very little electorate coverage. In Dunedin North even the winning candidate was not well known, the second candidate wasn’t and isn’t well known, and the third candidate is known as co leader of Greens, she wasn’t interested in electorate votes, and most people wouldn’t know what electorate she stood in.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  33. dime (10,095 comments) says:

    “Dunne is nothing but a piece of shit” – Dime, 2004

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  34. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    He stands for nothing.

    The more you get to know Dunne the more you find out how much he actually stands for. It just happens that the sort of things he stands for aren’t dramatic and don’t interest the media. The Winston Peters/John Ansell/Hone Harawira approach gets media attention but struggles to get results.

    I’d prefer someone who works diligently, quietly and effectively and doesn’t make the scandal sheets every five minutes. Parliament should be more about administering the country and less about subversion and personal grandstanding.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  35. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    The more you get to know Dunne the more you realise how much he actually stands for. It just happens that the sort of things he stands for aren’t dramatic and don’t interest the media.

    Such as the best brand of condoms, toilet paper and aromatic oil. Pftttt.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  36. thedavincimode (6,869 comments) says:

    Manolo

    Yes, but how do you really feel? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  37. thedavincimode (6,869 comments) says:

    No damn wonder is it that Whale Oil is beating Kiwibog by light years in page views.

    lol – Bitch !! :lol:

    More sage political comment from the Great Bogger. :lol:

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  38. bringbackdemocracy (428 comments) says:

    Dunne voted in favour of the anti-smacking law
    Against the view of his party
    Against the view of his caucus
    Against the view of 88% of New Zealanders
    His departure from parliament can’t be soon enough.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  39. thedavincimode (6,869 comments) says:

    His caucus??? Eh?

    OK, name the rest of them!!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  40. bringbackdemocracy (428 comments) says:

    At the time he had a caucus of three, but because of his contempt for democracy it was reduced by 2/3rds and has never recovered.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  41. calendar girl (1,261 comments) says:

    Thanks, PG. Very fair the point you make about the kind of membership UF attracts – not the political activist type. But low Party membership and poor electorate candidate votes in 2011 do detract from any suggestion that Dunne listens / answers to a Party membership.

    A Party’s strength is important to good governance. Politicians in power (even those in opposition) need a constant rein on the policies that they unveil, promote and carry into legislative or administrative reality. Waiting for the next general election does not represent power in the hands of the people, especially not in our MMP environment where policy tends to degenerate to the lowest common denominator – usually in the centre where I know that you personally prefer it to be.

    As a simple example, witness the present Government’s off-the-cuff proposals to take on the feeding of kids at school, without expressing any hint of a reduction of child-related benefits to fund the programme. There is simply no electoral mandate for that, especially from the taxpayers who will pay the bill. And National has long abandoned principles of responsibility and self-sufficiency that would once have caused the Government to pause, debate the issue within the Party, and at least listen to its own Party’s voice.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  42. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    Recall that Anderton was rightly and roundly criticised for taking the extra funds that get allocated because of leadership of a party.
    Dunne is no better along with Hone and maybe others. We pay enormously for Dunne to represent whom?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  43. lilman (965 comments) says:

    Dunne is a slut for the money,anything to be anything for anyone.
    Key has disappointed me ,real strength is decisive and he never rocks the boat.
    Wont vote for him again,simply need for strength is number one.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  44. Luc Hansen (4,573 comments) says:

    No damn wonder is it that Whale Oil Sewage Pond is beating Kiwibog Toilet Bowl by light years in page views.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  45. Pete George (23,680 comments) says:

    Thanks for your comments calendar girl.

    What I would ideally like to do is to help initiate a party independent lobby group that debates issues, evaluates popular opinion and then pressures all parties on that. All of the parties are too self interested to do that anywhere near properly, and don’t want to give people more power.

    So people have to establish their own power base if they want it.

    But those interested in doing something in politics seem too intent on promoting their own agendas rather than establishing a more effective people’s democratic process. But I’ll keep looking and listening for like minded independents and semi independents (joining UF was a means of trying to promte this).

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  46. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    Ok luc, you are welcome to leave and bathe in your own little cesspit wherever that is. Obviously doesn’t rate anywhere.(which of course tells us that it’s irrelevant to the world of men).
    We happen to like ours.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  47. publicwatchdog (2,795 comments) says:

    ANOTHER ‘YET TO BE PUBLISHED’ COMMENT ON NBR:

    http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/scorecard-media-hungry-sfo-boss-feeley-checked-andready-weekend-review-gb-130168

    So – why didn’t Adam Feeley ensure that the SFO prosecute John Banks and Don Brash for signing Huljich Kiwisaver Registered Prospectuses date 22 August 2008 and 18 September 2009, which contained untrue statements?

    A strict liability offence under s.58 (3) of the Securities Act?

    Oh – of course – silly me.

    ‘ONE LAW FOR ALL’ doesn’t apply to those politicians who may be pivotal in holding the balance of power in this country ‘perceived’ to be ‘the least corrupt in the world’?

    Penny Bright
    ‘Anti-corruption campaigner’.

    http://www.dodgyjohnhasgone.com

    http://www.pennybright4epsom.org.nz

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  48. MH (810 comments) says:

    not very often a former Major General dies in NZ. Piers Martin Reid. Taught at massey as well.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  49. renderer (87 comments) says:

    Penny Dim ” Oh – of course – silly me.” a true word spoken in jest perhaps?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  50. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    Question of the day: http://michellemalkin.com/2012/10/05/question-obama-teleprompter/

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  51. Nostradamus (3,433 comments) says:

    Dodgy Penny has gone (into the Police van).

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  52. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    I’ll never get my fuckin barbed wire now! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  53. Monique Watson (1,062 comments) says:

    @ Dime. the populazzi think Dunne is a piece of shit cos John Campbell and Patrick Gower told them so.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  54. graham (2,346 comments) says:

    Penny:

    Five days ago I asked you some very simple and straight-forward questions.

    Five days ago you said you would “consider” replying to my questions, IF I gave an assurance that I will stop making certain statements.

    Five days ago I gave this assurance.

    Five days later … nothing.

    You have refused to answer the questions. It is obvious to everybody here that your talk of ‘openness and transparency’ is hypocritical, because YOU refuse to be open and transparent yourself. I think the answer to my questions is obvious – NO, Penny Bright WOULD NOT sign up to a code of conduct. And everybody here knows why.

    Any credibility you may have had is gone, Penny.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  55. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    And she will NEVER deliver your barbed wire graham!!! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  56. Nostradamus (3,433 comments) says:

    Graham:

    Can we have those “certain statements” one more time, so Dodgy Penny can “consider” them? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  57. Komata (1,196 comments) says:

    But Graham old chap, surely you realise that to ms ‘bright’ you are inconsequential. It’s the smell of the tear gas, the thump of the police batons (on the footpath) and, above all THE CHANCE TO BE ON TV, that gets her going and elicits her responses. Compared to such things, your perfectly-logical request, doesn’t even measure up.

    Whatever turns her on I guess. . .

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  58. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    Are you sure the thump of the police baton “on the footpath” is what Penny craves Komata? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  59. chiz (1,164 comments) says:

    Abu Hamza finally extradited to the US.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  60. graham (2,346 comments) says:

    Nostradamus: I rather think that, as some people did with philu, I shall ignore Ms Bright (probably much to her relief). As it is patently obvious to everyone that she has no interest in being open, honest, and transparent herself (no matter how much she may call on other people to be), engaging in conversation with her is a waste of time.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  61. Nookin (3,455 comments) says:

    Penny @ 3.39pm

    It is not a strict liability offence. It does not become a strict liability offence simply because you so dishonestly ignore ss4. I say dishonestly because you know that the defense exists. I have posted it on a number of occasions. Unfortunately, as with Graham’s questions, it is an inconvenience for you and so you ignore it. Just like you ignore other laws that you do not like. And court decisions that you do not like. And you preach one law for all!!

    Here is the section again.

    Subject to subsection (4) of this section, where a registered prospectus that includes an untrue statement is distributed, every person who signed the prospectus, or on whose behalf the registered prospectus was signed for the purposes of section [[41(1)(b)]] of this Act, commits an offence.
    (4)No person shall be convicted of an offence under subsection (3) of this section if the person proves either that the statement was immaterial or that he or she had reasonable grounds to believe, and did, up to the time of the distribution of the prospectus, believe that the statement was true.

    Banks was not prosecuted because he had reasonable grounds to believe that the statements were true. He had no way of knowing otherwise because the fault lay in Hulijich’s failure to disclose something known only to him.

    Graham

    You are right to ignore her. She is intellectually dishonest. She knows no sense of debating ethics. She will ignore anything that inconveniences her. If she cannot ignore it, she will misrepresent it.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  62. wtfunz (133 comments) says:

    Nookin : notsobright is symbolic of everything mallignant about this country at present. No morals, no ideas, no ability and no clue, only a loud hollow voice creating havoc.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  63. Nookin (3,455 comments) says:

    wtfunz

    Exactly.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  64. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    The comrades at The Guardian doing their job:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/oct/05/september-jobs-report-obama-unemployment

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  65. RF (1,443 comments) says:

    Noticed that there have been more than usual obvious left wing posts on the KB site during recent weeks. A reliable source in the Labour camp has advised that this is a deliberate ploy to “Spread the message of Discontent” amongst the right. Expect to see more comments in the future as they continue their crusade.

    The nasty party.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  66. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    It’s fuckin working. This righty is pissed that the fucwits regard a lower interest rate as an achievment! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  67. Steve (North Shore) (4,587 comments) says:

    It’s School Holidays.
    The Teachers have fuck all else to do except spread vermin on Blogs

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  68. Komata (1,196 comments) says:

    Manolo

    Re: the US unemployment figures. After having read the article and others in a similar vein, words like ‘oddly convenient’ and ‘strangely coincidental’ come to mind. Odd that. . .

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  69. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Closed for maintenance.

    Ref: http://imgur.com/gallery/jSfHM

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  70. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    nasska’s cousin, the farmer, ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.

    Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn’t remove the instrument from his penis. He read the manual but didn’t find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier’s Customer Service Hot Line.

    “Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow’s udder?” “Don’t worry,” replied the customer service rep, “The machine will release automatically once it’s collected two gallons.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  71. cha (4,077 comments) says:

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/10/05/jack-welch-i-have-no-evidence-jobs-numbers-were-doctored/?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  72. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Apparently you are no longer allowed to say “Ba Ba black sheep” anymore…..

    …..now you have to say “Ba Ba multi-cultural sheep, have you any fair trade wool?
    Yes sir, yes sir, three environmentally friendly biodegrade bags full.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  73. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    I have exemption from the Lord nasska. All black sheep in my flock become Christmas dinners. :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  74. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    Antarctic ice expands against odds

    by: Graham Lloyd
    From: The Australian
    October 06, 2012 12:00AM

    ANTARCTIC sea ice has expanded to cover the largest area recorded since satellite mapping began more than three decades ago, in stark contrast to this year’s record melt on the northern pole.

    The expansion continues a trend of increasing Antarctic sea ice cover of about 1 per cent a decade and is at odds with predictions of climate change models that continue to forecast a long-term decline.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  75. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool. “What’s wrong with you?” said the priest. “Well,” said the frog, “the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn’t always a frog.” “Really!” said the priest. “Can you explain!” “Once upon a time I was an 11 year old choir boy at the local church. I too, was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. ‘Let me pass!’ I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you.” “That’s an incredible story” said the priest. “Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?.” “Yes” said the frog, “It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & warmth and after a good nights sleep I would wake up as boy once again.” “Today’s your lucky day!” said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed, “And that my Lord is the case for the Defense……. “

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  76. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    The ice has moved downwards then.

    Perhaps it’s like the irresistible force of gravity V2.

    You know, how your wife’s tit’s, that were so perky thirty years ago seemed to have drooped a tad? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  77. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    No idea what you are talking about johnboy.
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one day soon you will realise that begars can’t be chosers 8O :(

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  78. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    V2

    You’re typing under supervision we take it? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  79. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    Folks missing their gee gee’s have oooonly themselves to blame V2! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  80. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    ANZ warns $300bn mining projects face threat as commodity prices fall

    by: Matt Chambers
    From: The Australian
    October 06, 2012 12:00AM

    SLUMPING commodities prices and a flight of global investment to quality projects mean up to two-thirds of the nation’s 950 planned and current resources and infrastructure projects may not be realised, potentially slashing more than $300 billion of development spending and 150,000 jobs, according to ANZ.

    In the wake of lowered assumptions about Chinese and global growth, resources developers are now reassessing the huge number of boom-time proposals as cashflows shrink, funding becomes scarcer and shareholders call for restraint.

    —————————
    Not lookin good out there.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  81. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    For you rural folk:

    A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

    “That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “But I don’t think Pa would like me to.”

    “Aw come on boy,” the farmer insisted.

    “Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.”

    After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”

    “Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

    “Under the wagon.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  82. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    A Maori goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute.
    He asks her, “How much do you charge for the hour?”
    $100,” she replies.
    So he asks, “Okay do you do Maori style?”
    She says “No!”

    He then asks her, “I’ll pay you $200 to do Maori style?”
    She again says no, not knowing what Maori style is!
    So he then offers her $300.
    Again she declines his offer.

    So finally he says, “I’ll give you $500 to go Maori style with me”

    Finally she agrees thinking, “Well I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now, I’ve been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdo’s from every corner of the world. How bad could Maori style be?”

    So she goes ahead and has sex with the bro, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position.

    Finally, after 8 intense hours of the best nookie she’d ever experienced, the Maori finishes.

    Exhausted, the hooker says, “That was wonderful. I’ve never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and crass. Where does the ‘Maori style’ come in?”

    The Bro replies……………”I’ll pay you tomorrow!”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  83. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    An agricultural salesman is visiting a farm with a view to flogging a new type of combine harvester. “No, sorry son,” says the farmer, “my pig takes care of all the harvesting – I have no need for your fancy gizmo.” “Could save you money in the long-term” tries the salesman. “No, your combine would never match my pig’s productivity – you should see him go – swishing away with that scythe.” The salesman is intrigued about this pig and asks to see the creature. The farmer leads the salesman to an enclosure. Standing within – tall and proud – is the most magnificent pig the salesman has ever seen. But the pig has got a wooden leg. “That sure is an impressive pig, sir, but why’s he got a wooden leg?” asks the salesman. “This pig is more than ‘impressive’ mister – I’m sure he’s unique! Do you know he can also drive the tractor!?” “Really? But why’s he got a wooden leg?” “He drives our children to school and back!! – even helps them with their homework!!” “I’m impressed” admits the salesman, “but why the wooden leg?” “THIS PIG is also a leading authority on organic farming; thanks to him we’ve managed to branch out, and now our revenue is higher than that of any other farm in this county!! “Yeah, yeah!! You’ve got one hell of a pig – I can see that by just looking at him – but why does it have a wooden leg!?” Insists the salesman. “Did I mention the publishing deals? This pig’s just written a best seller – we’re going to be even richer now!!” “Amazing, truly amazing – but why the WOODEN LEG!!!!!!!!!!” The farmer looks admiringly at his pig and then turns to the salesman: Son, with a pig like this – you just DON’T eat him all at once.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  84. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    For u johnboy.

    http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/hillary-clinton-caught-staring-at-christina-aguilera-cleavage/story-fncak5zz-1226488936789

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  85. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

    “Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”

    The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  86. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    It’s been done before V2 and with better looking tarts! :)

    http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://i.pbase.com/o6/21/571721/1/131263316.kFHeXuDd.DYR_JayneMansfieldSophiaLoren_425H.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.pbase.com/image/131263316&h=425&w=415&sz=76&tbnid=MRHD4EZg5b1QLM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=88&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dsophia%2Bloren%2Band%2Bjayne%2Bmansfield%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=sophia+loren+and+jayne+mansfield&usg=__raEduJSoupezxZBGJ6u7-BdU6GE=&docid=RKV6LopSe7fObM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=ZuJvUJLJBe2SiAeB44HwCw&sqi=2&ved=0CB8Q9QEwAA&dur=6177

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  87. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist’s couch.
    “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said,
    dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those
    years.”
    “Amazing,” said the doctor. “How did you do it?”
    “Well, I outweighed him by fifty pounds.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  88. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”

    The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

    “How?” asks the man, puzzled.

    “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  89. Griff (8,157 comments) says:

    Some thing for all you old guys
    Meet the Fokkens
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19807622 :lol:

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  90. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Don’t know about you JB but young Griff seems to be aiming a bit below the belt. :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  91. Viking2 (11,552 comments) says:

    You won’t want one of these for christmas JB.

    http://screencast.com/t/be4rVfS4MAm

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  92. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.

    Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story.

    “Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes,” the man replied.

    “Oh! I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  93. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    No. The holes are too small V2! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  94. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

    The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!”

    He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.

    The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: “NOW THERE ARE TWO!”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  95. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground… After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”
    “Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the ute,” the other added.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  96. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A Farmer needs a bull to service his cows but needs to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing.

    The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

    The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: “The bull has serviced all my cows, broke through the fence, and has serviced all of my neighbor’s cows.”

    “Wow,” says the banker. “What did the vet do to that bull?”

    “Just gave him some pills,” replied the farmer.

    “What kind of pills?” asked the banker.

    “I don’t know,” said the farmer. “But they sort of taste like chocolate.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  97. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A farmer brings home a new young rooster to replace the older rooster on the farm. He takes the new cock outback and turns him loose. The new rooster goes up to the older rooster and tells him, “You old man, are going to be supper because I’m here to take your place as the cock of the roost.”

    The old rooster said, “Hey young fella, you just can’t come in here and take over like that not without a race.” “A race?” asked the new rooster. “What kind of race?”

    The old rooster told him, “A foot race.” And at this, the new rooster laughed. He said, “Old man, I can beat you any day of the week even if I give you a head start. You’re on.”

    The old rooster explained they would race around the hen house twice, but that he would get a head start. The new rooster agreed. The old rooster counted to three, and took off screaming and squawking the whole way. As he began around the first corner, the new rooster took off running as fast as he could, trying to catch up to the old rooster.

    At that same time the farmer was watching from the back door. Seeing what was going on, he ran and grabbed his gun, ran out the back door, and shot the new rooster just before the new rooster caught the old one. The farmer went back in the house, and his wife asked what was going on.

    The farmer replied, “I’m not sure, but that’s the second gay rooster I bought this week.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  98. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, “Doc, I’m really
    worried about my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude
    picture.”

    The psychiatrist said, “Well I wouldn’t worry about
    that. It’s probably just an expression of her
    interest in art. What was the nude picture for?”

    Doug said, “Her driver’s license.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  99. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He asks, “What on earth is that all about?”

    The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm.”

    “Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?”

    The farmer replied, “There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  100. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.

    During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams.”

    A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Low and behold! It’s like a completely different place – the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. “Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together.”

    “Yes, Reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  101. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    While going through his wife’s dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife, and when asked about the curious items, she confessed: “Over the years, I haven’t been completely faithful to you.”

    “When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion,” she explained.

    The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget her few moments of weakness.

    “I’m curious though,” he said, “Where did the thirty dollars come from?”

    “Oh that,” his wife replied, “Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I sold out!”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  102. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Three guys go to see a witch doctor about their problems.

    One has a smoking problem, one is an alcoholic and one is gay but wants to change.

    The doctor puts a curse on them that if any of them indulge their habits again they will die.

    Two days later the alcoholic dies because he gave in and had to drink.

    The next day the gay guy and the smoker are walking down the street together. The smoker sees a cigarette lying and the ground and stops to stare at it.

    The gay guy looked at him and said “if you bend over and pick that up we are both fucked!”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  103. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    On a drive in the country, a city slicker noticed a farmer lifting one of his pigs up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another. The farmer repeated this with a second, then a third pig. “Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about,” said the city slicker, “but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn’t it save a lot of time? “Time?” said the farmer. “What does time matter to a pig?”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  104. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving for another ranch to check on the possibility of buying a bull, the brunette tells her sister, When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.

    The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.

    The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, It’s just 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, I want you to send her the word comfortable. The operator shakes his head. How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, comfortable? The brunette explains, My sister’s blonde. The word’s big. She’ll read it real slow. ( com-for-da-bull )

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  105. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A young man from Ireland called Seamus finds himself in dire trouble.

    His farm has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the Church and begins to pray “God, please help me, I’ve lost my Farm and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto.”

    Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

    Seamus goes back to the Church. “God, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my Farm, my house and I’m going to lose my tractor as well.”

    Lotto night comes and Seamus still has no luck!!

    Back to the Church. “My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my Farm, my house, my tractor and my wife and 17 children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???.”

    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Seamus is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: “Seamus, meet me half way on this one, buy a ticket.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  106. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the Rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
    1st Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here five years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain’t givin’ him any of mine!”
    2nd Bull: “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight ‘im ’til I run ‘im off or kill ‘im, but I’M KEEPIN’ ALL MY COWS!”
    3rd Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to ‘take care of.’ I may not be as big as you fellows, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows!”
    They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
    1st Bull: “Ahem…You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”
    2nd Bull: “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”
    They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, to find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.
    1st Bull: “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
    3rd Bull: “Shit, he can have ALL my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’M a bull!”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  107. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him “Hey – come over here buddy”. The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, “Were you talking to me”? The horse replies, “Sure was, man I’ve got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I’m sick of it. Why don’t you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me. I’ll make you some money cause I can still run.” The jogger thought to himself, “Boy a talking horse!” Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer, “Hey man I’ll give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag you’ve got in the field”. The farmer replies, “Son, you can’t believe anything that horse says – He’s never even been to Kentucky.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  108. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds. They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the barn. After much discussion, the hindu volunteered to go to the barn. A few moments later, a knock on the bedroom door, and the hindu explained that there was a cow in the barn, and cows are sacred and he could not possibly sleep in the barn with a cow. Annoyed, the rabbi volunteered. A few moments later, a knock on the door. The rabbi explained that there was a pig in the barn and that he, being very orthodox, could not possibly spend the evening in the barn with the origin of pork. Finally the lawyer said that he would go to the barn. A few moments later there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  109. nasska (11,783 comments) says:

    Elsie the Cow and Ferdinand the Bull were on either side of a fence.
    Elsie the Cow gave him a wink and he leaped over the fence to her side.
    “Aren’t you Ferdinand the Bull?” she asked.
    “Just call me Ferdinand. The fence was a lot higher than I thought.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  110. Johnboy (16,994 comments) says:

    You win nasska. I’m off to my pit! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  111. hj (7,061 comments) says:

    Nostradamus (2,284) Says:
    October 6th, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Dodgy Penny has gone (into the Police van).
    ……….
    My backs a bit dodgy, i was concerned about those policemen’s/women’s backs. Penny should have some consideration.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  112. Manolo (14,029 comments) says:

    Good on Israel: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/10/06/israel-shoots-down-unpiloted-aircraft-reports-say/?test=latestnews

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote