General Debate 15 December 2012

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Keeping Stock

The LGG (Large German Gentleman) is having a wee moan about the amount of advertising before the screening of The Hobbit that he attended. Has he paused to think whether he may in some way be responsible for that?

http://keepingstock.blogspot.co.nz/2012/12/irony-tweet-of-day-15-december-2012.html
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December 15, 2012 8:05am
HB

http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/americas/8084565/27-dead-in-Connecticut-elementary-school-shooting

sounds awful – the school caters for up to 10 year olds – doesn’t make sense 🙁
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December 15, 2012 8:09am
mikenmild

I’d encourage anyone who can to make a donation to assist with cyclone relief for Samoa:
http://www.redcross.org.nz/donate
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December 15, 2012 8:10am
Colville

HB, aint the gun laws in USA fantastic! Land of the freeeeeeee…. (to shoot one another)………
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December 15, 2012 8:12am
Pete George

Something especially for dime – The Standard has a bizarre post that tries to attack Peter Dunne for tweeting:

Just hosted end of year drinks for my senior Inland Revenue. Health & Conservation officials – the year is starting to wind down after all.

The post had a screen shot with the attacker’s identity blanked out on their tweets – except they missed one reference in Dunne’s reply. It was easily searchable.

There were two virtually unused twitter accounts used to attack Dunne. It was easy to guess their motives, but one makes it simple to confirm, having a alink to a legal high and party pill website. This website posts ‘reviews’ of party pills that include muiltiple links to the sponsor who sells the products being reviewed. It’s little more than a drug advertising site.

So The Standard seems to be being used to promote drugs while attacking Dunne for mentioning end of year drinks. very hypocritical.

And while this isn’t the sort of whoring dime likes – Bizarre attempt at Standard diss.
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December 15, 2012 8:17am
Viking2

Are you stalking the man KS?

Actually he is probably correct which is probably why I can’t be bothered to go to the fkicks these days.Being shouted at by megaphone type advertising turned me off TV and the pics. Out of control mothers do that shit.

If ya like it fine. Each to their own.
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December 15, 2012 8:21am
Viking2

KS, here is the new world order of entertainment beginning to flourish.

The New York Times is getting into the business of selling bite-sized digital books based on its reporters’ work, giving it entree into a growing market for inexpensive “e-singles” that can be read in a couple of hours.

The product meets the rising demand for content as people buy tablet computers like the iPad and Kindle Fire in increasing numbers. IHS expects global shipments of tablets to hit 120 million this year, just two short years after the iPad jumpstarted the category in April 2010. Tablet shipments are expected to hit 340 million in 2016.

And people aren’t just watching movies and surfing the web on their mobile devices.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10854166
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December 15, 2012 8:23am
barry

mikenmild (5,976) Says:
December 15th, 2012 at 8:10 am

Why is it that when ever some storm goes thru the pacific and flattens the crappy houses and buldings they have that everyone starts wailing and crying about the poor (tongans or samoans or fijians…) and how much help they need.

Cyclones rage thru the pacific on a regular basis – Id have thought the various islanders would have learned that by now.
If they stopped the graft and corruption by the various leaders they would all have enough money to build decent strong structures that didnt get blown to bits everytime the wind got up.
Then we wouldnt get the handwringers running around after every storm pleading for help and donations.
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December 15, 2012 8:28am
wat dabney

I’m sure this has already been posted. But it’s well-worth repeating.

“IPCC AR5 draft leaked, contains game-changing admission of enhanced solar forcing”

http://wattsupwiththat.com/2012/12/13/ipcc-ar5-draft-leaked-contains-game-changing-admission-of-enhanced-solar-forcing/

Yes, it appears that even the corrupt and biased IPCC is finally being forced by obvious realities to admit that solar variation actually significantly influences climate, and that therefore that tiny trace amount of CO2 is not the great climate driver the alarmists have always claimed.

In other words, the sceptics are completely vindicated.
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December 15, 2012 8:29am
Viking2

But wait. They won’t be and will be here today to prove you wrong. 😆
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December 15, 2012 8:35am
mikenmild

barry
That’s quite a miserable and ungenerous response. We accept help after our disasters and I’m not aware of too many people overseas saying ‘oh don’t help those Kiwis because blah, blah, blah’. Even if pacific island states were all models of probity and pureness you and your ilk would likely find some other reason not to help.
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December 15, 2012 8:39am
Kea

This is an interesting documentary. It touches on all the major points.

I was surprised to learn how the IPCC was formed. It was started by Thatcher, as part of a push for nuclear energy, against a background of problems with the coal miners.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov0WwtPcALE
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December 15, 2012 8:42am
Griff

Wat eats bogies
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December 15, 2012 8:44am
Griff

Keas bogies
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December 15, 2012 8:44am
mikenmild

Brief review of your film:
The Great Global Warming Swindle is the go-to film for denialist propagandists. It rolls most of the popular points refuted a thousand times into a sixty minute-plus “documentary,” so, if anything, it’s a good watch in terms of seeing how deniers cherry-pick, distort, and fabricate “facts” in order to “debunk” AGW.
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December 15, 2012 8:45am
Griff

conspirawhacky time
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December 15, 2012 8:48am
Kea

Of course you would not say that about Gores discredited film, because it suits what you want to believe.

I do not know of any other area of science that provokes such emotion and general hysteria. It leads me to consider that supporters of the theory are not motivated by science and may have other agendas.
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December 15, 2012 8:51am
Griff

Scientists do not disagree about human-caused global warming. It is the ruling paradigm of climate science, in the same way that plate tectonics is the ruling paradigm of geology. We know that continents move. We know that the earth is warming and that human emissions of greenhouse gases are the primary cause. These are known facts about which virtually all publishing scientists agree.
24 of the 13,950 articles, 0.17% or 1 in 581, clearly reject global warming or endorse a cause other than CO2 emissions for observed warming
The articles have a total of 33,690 individual authors. The top ten countries represented, in order, are USA, England, China, Germany, Japan, Canada, Australia, France, Spain, and Netherlands. (The chart shows results through 9 November 2012.)

Global warming deniers often claim that bias prevents them from publishing in peer-reviewed journals. But 24 articles in 18 different journals, collectively making several different arguments against global warming, expose that claim as false. Articles rejecting global warming can be published, but those that have been have earned little support or notice, even from other deniers.
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December 15, 2012 8:58am
Viking2

Ahhh, what did I say. That’s fucked GD for the rest of the weekend. Go enjoy the sun.
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December 15, 2012 8:59am
mikenmild

Kea
I have not seen Gore’s film, nor do I wish to. As your second paragraph could be neatly turned around by replacing the word ‘supporters’ with ‘sceptics’ or ‘deniers’, I am tempted to conclude that it is meaningless.
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December 15, 2012 9:00am
thedavincimode

I do not know of any other area of science that provokes such emotion and general hysteria

Forensic science seems to be generating significant emotion and hysteria at the moment.
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December 15, 2012 9:03am
mikenmild

Forensic ‘science’ often offers a market-based approach: buy an expert with a contrary opinion.
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December 15, 2012 9:08am
wat dabney

Watch Griff tie himself in knots as he now argues that the IPCC is wrong.
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December 15, 2012 9:09am
mikenmild

Watch wat dabney lavish praise on the IPCC as an exemplar of international scientific co-operation.
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December 15, 2012 9:13am
wat dabney

The wheels really are coming off.

The new IPCC report – AR5 – “shows almost complete reversal from AR4 on trends in drought, hurricanes, floods”

http://www.climatedepot.com/a/18800/Prof-Pielke-Jr-Analysis-of-UN-IPCC-Draft-report–IPCC-shows-almost-complete-reversal-from-AR4-on-trends-in-drought-hurricanes-floods

Even the IPCC is forced to admit that all those scary headlines were just so much bullshit.

Still, they had Griff fooled.
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December 15, 2012 9:17am
mikenmild

Do you know when AR5 will be published, wat?
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December 15, 2012 9:32am
barry

Griff (3,686) Says:
December 15th, 2012 at 8:58 am

The problem that climate change has IS NOT that its happening, but whats causing it. The CO2 thing is just a theory, impossible to ever prove. Even if its right – stopping the use of carbon fuels wont do anything because if its true its too late – so the only useful thing is to start making efforts to protect agaimnst rising sea levels and increasing temperatures. Im told it will take hundreds of years to recue CO2 levels even if some way was found to stop using carbon fuels tomorrow.

But the emerging problem is that Its becoming clear that CO2 is not the only or even major force behind climate change (CO2 had nothing to do with the medi-evil warm period or the little ice age). The variation in the sun is almost certainly the reason behind the previou two cliamte variations and its becoming clear that its possibly the reason behind the current changes.

The hundreds of scientists you mention can be just as wrong as all those people who had the guy who said that the sun did not rotate around the earth but that the earth rotated around the sun – put into house arrest because he was so obvioulsy wrong…….and that they knew better (and we now know were all completely wrong)
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December 15, 2012 9:34am
wat dabney

barry,

“The hundreds of scientists you mention can be just as wrong”

No, Griff, is just showing his complete ignorance again.

Sceptics agree that CO2 has an effect. The dispute is about the significance of that effect and how it compares with all the other influences.
The IPCC claimed – against all historical evidence – that solar variation has virtually no effect. Such a ludicrous claim doesn’t even pass the smell test, but it has been the foundation of climate alarmism for 20 years. The fabricated, cherry-picked and thoroughly debunked Hockeystick purported to support this ridiculous claim.

The point being that it is not a binary issue: scientific papers generally don’t come down on one side or the other, and sceptics would agree with the vast majaority of them if they have been properly conducted. It is therefore a display of breathtaking ignorance for someone to claim that such-and-such percent of papers support the climate scare whilst a tiny remainder doesn’t. It simply doesn’t work like that.

Only someone completely clueless about the debate would ever make such a stupid claim.

Meet Griff.
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December 15, 2012 9:52am
RightNow

Griff:

baa baa, baa
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December 15, 2012 10:00am
kowtow

“Conspirawhacky” says griff staring into the mirror as it fogs up with a greeenhouse gas.
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December 15, 2012 10:41am
Kea

Our resident climate alarmist opinions that:

Scientists do not disagree about human-caused global warming. It is the ruling paradigm of climate science, in the same way that plate tectonics is the ruling paradigm of geology.
… These are known facts about which virtually all publishing scientists agree.

Then tells us:

Global warming deniers often claim that bias prevents them from publishing in peer-reviewed journals. But 24 articles in 18 different journals, collectively making several different arguments against global warming

The thing to remember is that those who support the theory are being paid to do so. Those who question it are not.
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December 15, 2012 10:48am
Kea

The above post was sponsored by Schlumberger
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December 15, 2012 10:50am
Tauhei Notts

It’s General Debate so I can put this up.
I was chatting this morning with a mate who has recently returned from a business trip to Portugal.
“That country is fucked” was his succinct response.
The attitude of the man in the street is one of abject depression. Very few trucks on the motorways, shifting goods. Many partly finished infrastructural projects just left to rust, as there is no money to finish them. He had not noticed such depression in Belgium or Ireland.
His outfit provides ancilliary services to copper miners.
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December 15, 2012 12:03pm
Reid

Another Travistock move on the Mind Kontrol chessboard:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9744094/BBC-told-to-put-more-gay-people-on-childrens-TV.html
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December 15, 2012 12:11pm
Fletch

New draft of U.S Army manual orders soldiers not to criticize Taliban, pedophilia, anything related to Islam or to advocate for women’s rights. Because, you know, it’s because the US soldiers don’t understand the culture is why they are getting attacked.

The draft handbook offers a list of “taboo conversation topics” that soldiers should avoid, including “making derogatory comments about the Taliban,” “advocating women’s rights,” “any criticism of pedophilia,” “directing any criticism towards Afghans,” “mentioning homosexuality and homosexual conduct” or “anything related to Islam.”

“Many of the confrontations occur because of [coalition] ignorance of, or lack of empathy for, Muslim and/or Afghan cultural norms, resulting in a violent reaction from the [Afghan security force] member,” according to the draft handbook prepared by Army researchers.

The 75-page manual, reviewed by The Wall Street Journal, is part of a continuing effort by the U.S. military to combat a rise in attacks by Afghan security forces aimed at coalition troops.

But it has drawn criticism from U.S. Marine Gen. John Allen, the top military commander in Afghanistan, who aides said hasn’t—and wouldn’t—endorse the manual as written. Gen. Allen also rejected a proposed foreword that Army officials drafted in his name.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324024004578171561230647852.html
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December 15, 2012 12:30pm
Fletch

ps, I hope the “edit” function returns soon…
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December 15, 2012 12:31pm
barry

mikenmild (5,987) Says:
December 15th, 2012 at 8:39 am

barry
That’s quite a miserable and ungenerous response

Mikenmild – In Chch we have a group of people who want to rebuild the cathedral and Latimer Court and QE II and the Town hall etc, etc

Now these will all fall down in the next big quake – no matter what they do. Rigid buildings and quakes are not compatable.

So why would you help such idiots if they got their way and they place got another quake? Theres no reason at all.

So – same thing in the pacific islands – theres nothing new about these cyclones but the dumb arses never seem to learn.

A list of the more well known ones:

Cyclone pat hits tonga 2010
Cyclone meena hits tonga 2009
Erica hits New Caledonia 2003
Olaf hits samoa and cooks 2005
Ului hits Noumea 2010
Percy hits raroronga 2005
Ami hits tonga 2003
Beni hits New Caledonia 2003
Mick hits tonga 2009
Kim hits french polynesia in 2000
Paula hits Fiji 2001
Sose hits New Caledonia 2001
Waka hits tonga 2002
Zoe hits Vanuatu 2002
Ami hits tonga and Fiji 2003
Heta hits tonga and samoa 2004
Ivy hits vanuatu 2004
Nancy hits cook islands 2005
Percy hits samoa and cooks 2005
Daman hits tonga 2008
Funa hits vanuatu 2008
Gene hits Fiji 2008

Now youd really have to conclude that places like Tonga are essentially going to be wrecked by a cyclone pretty regularly – so either they build decent buildings or they abandon the place – but as sure as the sun comes up tomorrow I wont be giving them one cent. They are too stupid to deserve that.
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December 15, 2012 12:37pm
Reid

I wonder when the conservative hawks who hallucinate the ‘war on tewwor’ is a rational response to the threat, are going to wake up? I suspect, never. Meanwhile indicator after indicator flashes up on the geopolitical stage and time after time the silly old conservative hawks walk straight past it with no recognition of what they collectively represent.

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2012/12/14/277935/totally-misleading-intelligence-of-cia/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2012/dec/13/cia-tortured-sodomised-terror-suspect

http://www.globalresearch.ca/more-than-thirty-top-u-s-officials-guilty-of-war-crimes/5315289

I suspect that even if the Abu Gharrib tapes that were shown to Congress which reportedly includes footage of children, young boys, screaming while they were being raped in front of their mothers, were released, even then the silly old conservative hawks would still walk straight past even that, desperate to maintain their fantastical wonderland hallucination that all this is necessary, to “pwotect us.”
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December 15, 2012 12:39pm
Reid

Fletch, isn’t that interesting they’re not allowed to criticise the Taliban? Is this because they’re providing lots of the “fweedom fighters” in Libya and Syria? Gee, isn’t that peculiar. I mean, we’re at war with the Taliban, aren’t we? Aren’t they the people who spawned the fighters who downed the Towers? Oh wait, that’s right, that was Saudi Arabia.

…
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December 15, 2012 12:42pm
Keeping Stock

Viking2 asks

Are you stalking the man KS?

Not at all Viking. I just find it ironic that Mr Dotcom doesn’t realise that enteprises such as Megaupload (which reward people for providing “orginal” content; read “stolen”) have caused the number of people going to the movies and paying for the privilege to fall. Naturally enough, the owners of the movie theatres have to turn to other sources (such as on-screen advertising) to make a quid. So it’s a bit rich for Dotcom to moan about “20 minutes of advertising” before The Hobbit screened, when he is a significant part of the problem.
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December 15, 2012 1:09pm
Elaycee

Another cock-up today from the lamestream media:

The Stuff headline shouts: Boyle wins second world title and that suggests Boyle has won not only the one title she won a day ago, but now a second. Fantastic – so lets look at the story….

Er, no – she didn’t win another title – she was third in another event – meaning she still has the one title [which in itself is excellent] but the headline is totally incorrect.

Quelle surprise…..

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/other-sports/8084756/Bronze-for-Boyle-at-short-course-world-champs
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December 15, 2012 1:11pm
Elaycee

Damn the [missing] edit function:

Stuff headline is here:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/other-sports/
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December 15, 2012 1:15pm
Harriet

Reid#

“…..I suspect that even if the Abu Gharrib tapes that were shown to Congress which reportedly includes footage of children, young boys, screaming while they were being raped in front of their mothers….”

Scouts….sports clubs…..and lawless Cambodia attract ‘kiddie fuckers’….lawless Afganistan is no differant!

It is all about ‘opportunity’ for kiddy fuckers!

Or are you saying that ALL US soldiers are kiddy fuckers?
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December 15, 2012 1:27pm
Reid

Or are you saying that ALL US soldiers are kiddy fuckers?

It was done by Afghani guards Harriet. While the US guards stood by and let it happen.

A lot of what they did in Abu Gharrib from the photos are straight from the Israeli book on what they do to Palestinians and other Arabs in their “fight for fweedom.” Those hoods we’ve seen are usually smeared on the inside with either or both pig fat and human excrement. Nice touch.

And the US for some reason thought it would be a good idea to take those and expand them, which they have proceeded to do. And as that court case I linked to above shows, it has spread widely and has not been “isolated incidents” but rather SoP. And this was determined to be done as policy at the highest levels of the neocon administration and has continued under Obama. And this despite everyone knowing that it’s very elementary human psychology to know that this never works. Anyone with a 3-digit IQ which all these neocons have can simply recall recent history and look at what the Gestapo did in controlling the French and Dutch populations during WWII which used the same tactics and look what it did to “crush” the spirits of those people. Nothing, that’s what. Quite the opposite, in fact. What a surprise. Who’d a thunk.

And this is what has happened Harriet. These are facts, events that have occurred, which cannot be argued away or minimised as “aberrations” which some would no doubt prefer they were thought of as being.

No.

And yet still, even now, with all this clear and present history and no-brainer self-evident simple logic, still some idiots fail to get it. They still think the ‘war on terror’ hasn’t been deliberately and specifically and carefully crafted since day one to generate terrorism and not to reduce it.
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December 15, 2012 1:46pm
bc

Unbelievable. Is there a culture at CYPS of keeping kids with their abusive parents?
Good to see the judge getting it right and calling for accountability.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10854196
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December 15, 2012 2:20pm
Fletch

Reid, the way you are portraying these Arabs and Palestinians etc, you’d think they were all sweetness and light and hard done by. These are the same savages that will whip a woman with an electrical cord because she gave a male visitor a glass of water out on her veranda. And just do a google looking for the number of women who are scarred by having their noses and ears cut off, acid thrown in their face etc etc for not much more. Not to mention the women who are circumsized with shards of glass.

I don’t condone any sort of torture etc, but you’re giving these people a free pass when they don’t deserve it, and who do much worse things themselves.
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December 15, 2012 2:22pm
Reid

Fletch I’m raising simple human psychology. It’s a fact that ragheads are humans and humans everywhere behave the same way in response to certain stimuli and this is what I’m saying.

I’m saying nothing about the fact that if it weren’t for criminal terrorists then the US would have no excuse for doing this.

I’m simply saying the writing has been on the wall to me since before 911 that the ‘war on terror’ is conducted specifically to generate and not reduce terrorism. Isn’t it obvious to everyone that the way the US does business is by regime change? It’s not like the way the British ruled their territories, at all. The US way is to install whomever is most prepared to follow their lead. They don’t care whether or not this person happens to be good for their people or not. Indeed most of the time they plump for the brutal, corrupt types, haven’t they, since WWII. Yes, they have. And what is hard to understand about the human psychology that their tactics will generate it and will not “crush” the terrorists, quite the opposite. There is nothing hard to understand about that, it’s a self-evident fact that cannot be argued away and your average ten-year-old is clever enough to understand that, aren’t they. That’s all I’m saying.
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December 15, 2012 2:51pm
publicwatchdog

What do Kiwibloggers think about the UN Agenda 21 and the ‘Rio Principles’?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/life-style/8084651/Sustaining-belief

Agenda 21 critics in Hamilton refused to speak to the Waikato Times, citing fears mainstream media would distort their arguments.

But environmentalists and more mainstream protesters have their own set of reservations about Agenda 21, believing it is a watered down response to a planetary emergency that is largely ignored anyway.

Long-time community activist and Auckland mayoral candidate Penny Bright points out that it didn’t stop GE, or, on a larger scale, any of the major wars that have blighted the environment since 1992.

“It comes across as trying to be well-intentioned,” she says, “but I think the focus is misdirected. If you are trying to help build a better planet, then you have got to focus on the real problems. And when Agenda 21 was set up, they weren’t allowed to address the role of corporations and multinationals.”

The UN’s review calls for more public-private partnerships (PPPs), with business getting more involved. Fleming says the council won’t be able to do everything itself. “There are opportunities [for PPPs], absolutely,” he says. Bright raises a red flag at this. “There’re huge stacks of evidence internationally that PPPs are marvellous for the private sector because they smooth out the bumps in terms of the boom and bust cycle. You get a guaranteed income for however long the contract is. But the question is, who is benefiting and where is the money going?”

Bright says a European Union-sponsored review of the scheme found the same problems Hamilton City and the UN discovered. Agenda 21 didn’t initially recognise the interconnectedness of its goals.

“You can’t look at the environment without looking at the economic system that has such a huge impact on the environment. It is the herd of elephants in the room,” she says.

That’s crucial to making it work, she thinks, and the reason why it’s not. “If you are talking about the Rio principles and Agenda 21, in terms of their stated aim, well, what a load of bollocks.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Penny Bright
‘Anti-corruption campaigner’

http://www.dodgyjohnhasgone.com
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December 15, 2012 3:19pm
mikenmild

What a load of bollocks.
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December 15, 2012 3:36pm
Elaycee

Agenda 21…..

Isn’t that the big black hangar out near Area 51? 😯
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December 15, 2012 3:52pm
thedavincimode

Looks like flipper’s mother is on the prowl.

Mrs flipper – we’re still all waiting for your anti-corruption enquiry into what happened to the Occupy money they allege you took.
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December 15, 2012 4:45pm
Keeping Stock

Agenda 21; that sounds like Penny’s latest conspiracy theory; the one after agendas 1 to 20 were well and truly fisked. 😀
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December 15, 2012 4:51pm
liarbors a joke

doomed before it even starts…

http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv/8082096/Close-Up-replacement-named-slammed
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December 15, 2012 5:35pm
Viking2

Suffers from silly name syndrome and we all know what happens to them.
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December 15, 2012 5:47pm
krazykiwi

KS – It does doesn’t it. But the UN’s Agenda 21 is very real, and very scary. Here are some of the hooks that it has into little ‘ol NZ: Agenda 21 – New Zealand.
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December 15, 2012 5:54pm
nasska

Some tips for ‘krazykiwi’. 🙂

Ref: http://imgur.com/gallery/XXMjq
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December 15, 2012 6:52pm
Pete George

A new report (and some dude on TV) says that to combat a growing obesity problem there should be regulations that restrict portion sizes in restaurants.

How the hell would that work?
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December 15, 2012 7:00pm
Harriet

How the hell would that work?

Bread on tuesdays Pete and sausages on thursdays. Worked well for a while in the Soviet States Pete.

You can have plenty of salt though…..while your shoveling away in the gulags of course.
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December 15, 2012 7:18pm
nasska

As you well know, some of us have been lucky not to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the various social events over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a far too many beers and then topped it off with four or five topshelf doubles. Not a good idea.
Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before: I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block, but because it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise. I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.
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December 15, 2012 8:00pm
Viking2

GOD HAS SUCH A SENSE OF HUMOUR

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever..

She left work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.

She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.

She didn’t know what to do .

She called home and told the baby sitter what had happened.

The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said :

“You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.”

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground,

possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car.

She looked at the hanger and said : “I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.

Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up .

A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought : “This is what you sent to help me?”

However , she was desperate . She was also very thankful !

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said :

“Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and

I ‘ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her.

Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”

He said: “Sure.” He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said :

“Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man.”

The man replied : “Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday,

I was in prison for car theft. ”

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud :

“Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional !!”

Is GOD good or what!!??
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December 15, 2012 9:26pm
Viking2

This is such a heart warming story

Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, a Royal Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After take-off the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said ‘I need to get up and get a Coke.’

‘Don’t get up,’ said the Marine ‘I’m in the aisle seat, ‘I’ll get it for you.’

As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marine’s shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good. I’d really like one too.’ Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine’s other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, ‘Why does it have to be this way?’

‘How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?’
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December 15, 2012 9:27pm
RightNow

nasska, next time you take a bus home stop and pick me up you bastard
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December 15, 2012 9:29pm
Viking2

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.

‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’

‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never get it all in one.’

He’s still in intensive care.
___________________________________________

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance…

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there.’
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December 15, 2012 9:32pm
nasska

– The Night Before Christmas –

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.

Sure as I’m speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.
Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, ’cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jockies, to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
“That was some brothel,” he said with a smile,
“The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay awhile”

He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa’s next find,
And six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several more things I shouldn’t even mention.

A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
“This stuff ain’t for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I’ll leave ’em here, and then I’ll just split.”

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
Saying, “Take me home, Rudolf. This night’s been a bitch!”
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
“The best thing about pussy is you can’t wear it out!!”
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December 15, 2012 9:37pm

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