A very amusing website is that of the Student Doctor Network. Why? Because they share their stories about unusual emergency room cases.
There are pages and pages of hilarious reading. Some examples:
If you’re going to come clean and tell me you got your corneal abrasion from a dollar bill you were putting in a strippers G-string while at your bachelor party… make sure your fiance isn’t in the room !!
If you have no feeling in your lower legs, don’t fall asleep with your legs up in front of the fire. OK, you don’t feel any pain, but the smell when you wake up will put you off barbecue for life.”
If you are a 28yo female in labor, do not grab the 18yo EMT by the shirt and scream in his face “Men! Why do you do this to us!?!?”
If you are going to jump off a 100ft cliff to attempt to kill yourself, do not do so in the only place on the cliff where there is a 75′ tall tree
If you shoot yourself in the left anterior chest attempting suicide with a shotgun, your incessant whining that we’re pulling out your precious chest hair while we peel off the silk tape to inspect your wound will be met with limited sympathy.
If you have a 20 year history of uncontrolled diabetes and a severe case of peripheral neuropathy, it is probably not a good idea to sleep with your dog, even if it is only a chihuahua. It’s gotta be a bit of a shock to wake up and see that the dog has gnawed off the tip of your big toe while you were napping, and you couldn’t feel a thing.
If you have plans to take your girlfriend out to a really nice restaurant to propose and give the ring to the waiter with instructions to bring it in a glass of champagne towards the end of the meal- don’t get drunk before it arrives, and if you do, at least remember that there’s a ring in one of the glasses, so look it in closely before taking that swig!
One can spend hours reading them all.