Owen Glenn Business School Courses

Cactus Kate has a copy of the course outlines for the new Owen Glenn Business School. Some extracts:

PROPERTY 100: Introduction To Super Yachts

During this paper you will learn all the basics of Super Yachts including brokering a deal, registering it in an effective offshore jurisdiction, designing offshore consulting contracts for your employees, the impact of oil prices to your Super Yacht and the meaning of carbon credits and advice on how to minimize them in the future.

PROPERTY 101: Super Yacht Essentials

Upkeeping your Super Yacht is crucial. This paper will teach you how to select your guests to maximize your outlay. From hiring staff, calculation of the optimal male to female guest ratio, selecting flooring to avoid damage from high heels, taking photographs, ordering the right alcohol and food and fitting all those high-tech specs that make your yacht better than the competition.

ECON 201: Special Topic: Advanced Relationships

A special topic with limited entry for men only. With all your new found wealth you will need advice on how to “select” and “protect”. Let our expert lecturers teach you some basics about members of the fairer sex. Topics will include special skills taught to young girls about how to generously offer to permanently look after your wealth. Watch in total awe as we take you through more advanced case studies and learn from the mistakes of others including how to use the diplomatic protection squad to your advantage when it all goes horridly wrong and how to say “no” effectively. We also discuss replacing contingent liabilities as they arise and how to make sure these contingent liabilities all get along fabulously as to bring peace and harmony to your life.

Lecturers: Deborah Hollings and Mrs X, Deborah Coddington, Jonah Lomu, Barry Colman.

ACCTG 101: Introduction To Offshore Companies, Banks and Trusts

Details of the paper have been suppressed at time of print. This paper will be taught off campus.

Lecturer: Lecturer: Mr/Ms/Miss/Sir Anonymous.

POL 201: Politics for Business

This paper will advise you on how to best influence the political process to your advantage including close examination of at the Resource Management Act, Electoral Finance Act and an introduction to the mechanics of Local Councils. Learn from the mistakes of others in this practical case study based paper. Case studies will use practical examples where corporate directorships and union contacts can be used to your advantage.

Lecturers: Winston Peters, Dail Jones, Mike Williams, Visiting Lecturers: Peter Davis and Helen Clark.

EGO 405: Advanced Topic: Public Relations and You

The most important yet complex paper and a must for any budding entrepreneur as based on the Founder’s advice there is nothing more important than how you are perceived despite your wealth. Learn when to shut up and when to speak out. Learn who to play nicely with and who to bury. Learn about how to manage the media with experienced BloJo’s Audrey Young and Fran O’Sullivan taking you through the process of just how the media work to discredit you or assist you.

Lecturers: of Baldwin Boyle Group (subject to current performance review), Michelle Boag, Bill Ralston, Richard Griffin, Audrey Young, Fran O’Sullivan.

I’ve also heard a rumour that if National wins the next election, John Key plans to rename University as the Sir Owen G. Glenn University, in recognition of his contribution to New Zealand Politics.

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