September 19, 2008 3:00pm by David Farrar

Some more attack lines for Labour

Readers have been usefully suggesting more attack lines for Labour, after their attempts to blame him for the global financial crisis and the War in Iraq failed. Some of the suggestions:

  • Why is Key so silent on that day in Dallas on the grassy knoll and what was he up to in Sarajevo in 1914?
  • You forgot the one about disabling the warning signal at Tangiwai.
  • John Key has been known to mix formula milk at home, and must have something to do with the latest, ‘China Syndrome
  • He will certainly make all State Housing Clients homeless
  • Ordering the My Lai massacre
  • Financing Osama BinLaden whilst at Merrill Lynch
  • Arranging the transfer of the Nazis gold bullion and art treasures
  • I have it on good authority that one of the reincarnations [of John Key] was of a close relative of Genghis Khan
  • He probably poisoned the AB’s before the WC final too. Rich Prick.
  • John Key will SELL the hospitals to his cronies at Merrill Lynch
  • Since John Key is personally responsible for global finacial melt-down having worked at ML, on the same logic surely he must also be responsible for violence in South Auckland (having visited there), foreshore treaty claims (for owning a beach house), conning Cullen into paying too much for the train set (as a ML shareholder), theft of medals from Waiouru (didn’t he drive through there once), milk contamination in China (having met with Andrew Ferrier)
  • Members of the Manson cult are also known to have celebrated John Key’s 8th birthday by slaughtering Sharon Tate and others
  • Breaking news: John Key named in apple/Eve enticement scandle!
  • It is a little known fact that Key was the designer of the Titanic, apparently he was also the man who loaded the flight plan into the computer of the ill fated DC10 Erebus flight.
  • John Key was also seen leaving Cape Canaveral prior to the launch of Challenger, with an o-ring hanging out of his briefcase.
  • And the letters in NATIONAL MP JOHN KEY can be rearranged to spell KLEPTOMANIA JOHNNY. No wonder this election is about trust…

One really shouldn’t give Labour ideas for attack lines, but if they do run with any of these, then we calim intellectual copyright over them at Kwiiblog! 🙂