The all powerful DPF

IrishBill blogs at The Standard:

David Farrar is largely to blame for the Nats running Melissa Lee in Mt Albert. According to a friend of a friend David decided the demographics meant she could win and convinced the caucus his crazy idea would fly. Note to : learn to count.

I am not sure what is more hilarious – that Irish Bill blogs on an allegation from a friend of a friend (of a friend of a friend ….) or the assertion that I convinced Caucus.

Sadly Caucus don’t invite me to their meetings. It is possible that I did attend Caucus one day, and they surgically removed the memory of it from my brain. Maybe that is what he heard from a friend of a friend.

One could also quibble and point out Caucus doesn’t select the candidate. But hey lets keep facts away from this.

Anyway now that have acknowledged my power of control over Caucus (and by implication the entire Government of New Zealand), may I suggest some sensible strategies for those wishing to buy influence:

  1. Ask me to review new luxury hotels in Queenstown for you
  2. Insist I spend several weeks on a cruise ship in the South Pacific, getting the feel of it
  3. Place me on the mandatory invite list for all games at the Stadium (esp the Sevens)
  4. Take me out to dinner at Logan Brown
  5. Propose funding of Kiwiblog interns to assist me

Now some corporates out there may feel this is not a good return on investment. But remember The Standard’s sources are impeccable – it comes from a friend of a friend!

%d bloggers like this: