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January 14, 2019 1:00pm by David Farrar

NZ Politicians as Cars

This was on Reddit, and worth sharing as it is equally piss taking of all sides.

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Comment76

Humour
NZ Politics

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The Heat

Gareth Hughes: Skateboard
27 0
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January 14, 2019 1:14pm
- harvey wilson
  
  Gareth Hughes , lime scooter , an irritating waste of time soon to be a punchline to a lot of jokes.
  
  23 0
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  January 14, 2019 1:29pm
  - Pita
    
    Gareth Hughes; Backpfeifengesicht!
    
    7 0
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    January 14, 2019 2:42pm
    - Longknives
      
      Whatever happened to that little twerp?
      He seems to have fallen off the radar somewhat…
      
      4 0
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      January 14, 2019 4:33pm
      - sooty
        
        Must be overseas on holiday!
        
        2 0
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        January 14, 2019 5:00pm
- RRM
  
  Darren Hughes: the bang bus
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 4:42pm
  - Aunty
    
    Didn’t it get rear ended?
    
    6 0
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    January 14, 2019 5:07pm
Surely Knott

Hahah. Mostly on point but Phil Twyford: Looks Good, Sounds Good. Maserati. Does the person have eyes? Phil Twyford – Italian Sex Machine – I think not.
23 0
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January 14, 2019 1:17pm
- howzit
  
  Yeah a 1984 Lada is more appropriate and even then it’s debatable whether the Lada should be more offended
  
  17 0
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  January 14, 2019 2:00pm
- Keeping Stock
  
  You missed the last two words which describe Twyford and his policies to a T – “doesn’t work”
  
  17 0
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  January 14, 2019 2:24pm
  - sooty
    
    Maybe he should have got a model T. It would work better than he would.
    
    2 0
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    January 14, 2019 3:39pm
  - Surely Knott
    
    That bit was accurate!
    
    2 0
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    January 14, 2019 6:02pm
- Raphael
  
  Morris Marina. You know you want to drop a piano on it to put it out of it’s misery.
  
  10 0
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  January 14, 2019 2:44pm
- RRM
  
  Yes, if he’s anything Italian he’s an Alfa 164 with 320,000 km on it, auto slips a bit going into gear, lots of lights on the dash that won’t go out, and the seller won’t tell you why there’s a used tube of radiator weld goo in the boot. Run away now, don’t walk, run!
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 4:29pm
stephieboy

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Jacinda trail blazes again. This time with her EV Leaf.

Not much grunt?

Who Cares!
4 46
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January 14, 2019 1:18pm
- Garbageman
  
  .
  
  16 1
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  January 14, 2019 1:29pm
  - dime
    
    jesus lol
    
    15 1
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    January 14, 2019 1:35pm
    - Garbageman
      
      I have been away a couple of weeks are we not allowed to use Marama Ds reclaimed word here anymore other than that i thought it quite an on point assessment of our dear part time leader
      
      12 1
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      January 14, 2019 2:08pm
      - dime
        
        the C word slips through every so often. but it’s been a bit of a no go area since the beginning.
        
        as you say though, the word has been reclaimed for “powerful women” lol
        
        13 0
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        January 14, 2019 2:30pm
- Tall Man
  
  Not enough grunt to get anything done.
  
  Tells lies and is worthless after being used a few years.
  
  ardern tells lies as well.
  
  steffy girl still waiting a selfie. Not going to happen, 2 hucks in a selfie…..never.
  
  16 2
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  January 14, 2019 1:31pm
- Colinxy
  
  You should really do your homework before commenting. Ardern is compared to a 2011 Nissan Leaf: basically the battery will be f**ked by now and barely operating…much like our PM.
  
  38 1
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  January 14, 2019 1:34pm
- Raphael
  
  Loses 10% capacity per year….sounds about right
  
  14 1
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  January 14, 2019 2:46pm
- RRM
  
  PriNZess Jackshit is more of a Tesla model 3. Taxpayer funded BS.
  
  LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
  
  Oh, nothing….
  
  (While Priuses, Leafs, actually do the business, find millions of willing customers…)
  
  9 0
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  January 14, 2019 3:32pm
- RRM
  
  pedoboy:
  Jacinda trail blazes again. This time with her EV Leaf.
  
  Not much grunt?
  
  Who Cares
  
  On a forum I follow there’s a guy who’s seriously considering re-powering his homebuilt Lotus 7 clone with Nissan Leaf power… because while V8 heads won’t get it, the power of a Nissan Leaf isn’t half bad for a car of that size, and apparently the power DELIVERY is just crying out to be installed in something that actually handles!
  
  Another day of pedoboy being wrong absolutely every time he opens his mouth… maybe go away and take in the sights at St Luke’s mall, and let the grown ups talk hmmmmmm?
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 4:38pm
harvey wilson

Not bad , the photo if of a hiace not s hilux . The hiace is a better fit for little .
17 0
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January 14, 2019 1:22pm
- Colville
  
  A Hiace is a trademans vehicle and a Hilux is a hunters truck.
  Neither one is anything Little knows or cares the least about!
  
  Maybe a Toyota Previa? Disgusting ugly but functional?
  
  12 0
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  January 14, 2019 1:30pm
  - brett68
    
    A toyota emina
    
    8 0
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    January 14, 2019 1:44pm
    - Adolf Fiinkensein
      
      Isn’t that a Toyata Enema?
      
      8 0
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      January 14, 2019 2:19pm
- Batman
  
  I think they meant a Hiace
  
  7 0
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  January 14, 2019 1:30pm
- RRM
  
  Most Hiaces work for a living.
  
  6 0
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  January 14, 2019 3:29pm
  - Odakyu-sen
    
    “Most Hiaces work for a living.”
    
    Then no Labour politician can possibly be compared to a Hiace.
    
    4 0
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    January 14, 2019 4:43pm
- emmess
  
  Great for breaking criminals out of prison.
  
  0 0
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  January 14, 2019 9:30pm
burt

Jacinda should be a Lada. Good in principle but hopeless, slow and always breaking down.
23 1
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January 14, 2019 1:25pm
- harvey wilson
  
  Trabant , “ it’ll do 13 hectares on a litre of kerosene “.
  
  12 1
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  January 14, 2019 1:27pm
  - chwaga
    
    Trabant is entirely appropriate. As I remember it the standing joke was that you could double its value by putting in a gallon of petrol.
    
    5 0
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    January 14, 2019 3:32pm
- hullkiwi
  
  Burt, I think the old model Leaf is perfect for the SLG – the ultimate urban virtue signaller, but capacity is failing and is useless for all required purposes.
  
  19 1
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  January 14, 2019 1:42pm
- NoCash
  
  Nah, should be a Great Wall ute, looks OK but it’s a poser, deathtrap, unreliable, and a commie.
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 5:19pm
harvey wilson

Golly G Alfa Romeo ( any model ) gorgeous but not even remotely reliable enough to be trusted .
17 0
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January 14, 2019 1:26pm
- Colville
  
  yeah an Alfo with a wound back speedo!
  
  15 0
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  January 14, 2019 1:32pm
  - hullkiwi
    
    Yes, a complete fraud all of the way!
    
    10 0
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    January 14, 2019 1:37pm
- burt
  
  She’s a AMC Gremlin with Alfa badges.
  
  2 0
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  January 14, 2019 3:19pm
- big bruv
  
  Rubbish, Mrs Bruv is onto her third new Alfa, never had an issue with any of them.
  
  0 4
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  January 14, 2019 7:01pm
  - RRM
    
    Yes, if you can ~~throw them away~~ trade them in for a new model at about 80,000km you’ll probably have a good run. Probably..
    
    1 0
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    January 14, 2019 8:37pm
hullkiwi

Little is a Hiace van, Fafoi has pretentious to being the Hilux ute, ie the performer that you can throw anything at.

Genter is a 2CV, good at shouting – I’m trendy look at me, but I’m useless for anything purposeful eg like cutting the road toll – lots of huffing, puff and well you’ll have to wait 10 years to see if I was effective, but it was trendy. …
10 1
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January 14, 2019 1:28pm
Batman

No offence to BMW but…

Twyford is really more of a BMW X6:
– looks stylish
– supposed to be good off road
– complete trash off road and like a beached whale on road. Result: no good at either task.

Edit: clarity.
12 0
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January 14, 2019 1:35pm
secondcumming

Grant is the only one with an 80’s collapsible car…..the Honda Accordion.
12 0
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January 14, 2019 1:36pm
Inandout

Well I wonder what other CoLs drive:

https://autowise.com/10-typical-drug-dealer-cars-seized/
5 0
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January 14, 2019 2:04pm
slightlyrighty

James Shaw.

A Robin Reliant…

3 wheels is all you need.

Prone to falling over at any speed when cornering sharply.
20 0
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January 14, 2019 2:09pm
Aunty

Trevor Mallard – 1978 Skoda 120 GLS.

And sadly, like him, it’s still going.
13 0
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January 14, 2019 2:10pm
- Nostradamus
  
  Trevor Mallard drives a bollardmobile!
  
  11 0
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  January 14, 2019 2:14pm
Igotta Numbum

Clare Curran – Raleigh Twenty

– Everyone has ridden one at least once.
14 0
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January 14, 2019 2:19pm
kowtow

Shane Jones on a motorbike …….should have been a honda 50

Red , throbs , small , between his legs and only needs one hand to make it go.
11 0
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January 14, 2019 2:20pm
Aunty

Jerry Brownlee – Lincoln Navigator.
Or for those with more European tastes, a Mercedes GLS SUV. In either case, you’d be best advised to stay well out of his way.
7 0
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January 14, 2019 2:26pm
holysheet

Nah Cindy drives a bongo van. She never knows when the Jethro is having a sexual emergency.
Best be prepared.
8 0
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January 14, 2019 2:28pm
- burt
  
  Space in the back of the Bongo for a few lawnmowers too.
  
  8 0
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  January 14, 2019 3:20pm
hullkiwi

Kelvin Davis.

A Nissan Bluebird – a no 2 to the bigger Maxima, not much point to being, and not seen around as much as it use to be..
7 0
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January 14, 2019 2:39pm
- Aunty
  
  Kelvin Davies, I see him more as a 1921 Oldsmobile Model 43-A touring car, fresh off the farm and with all the whanau, and granny!
  
  Not sure what that is? Check it out.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwzaxUF0k18
  
  2 0
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  January 14, 2019 5:26pm
hullkiwi

Peter’s could also be 1960s/1970s Holden.

Difficult to handle;
Lots of grunt, but not always in a straight line;
Unreliable the moment they left the dealer’s showroom;
Always tried to be the king muscle car, but often had to give way to pretenders; and
It knew how to smoke and was thirsty!
8 0
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January 14, 2019 2:47pm
- RRM
  
  Winston could be any VE – onwards Commodore with the alloytec V6.
  
  Looks very tough.
  
  Is somewhat tough, could run you over in a collision.
  
  Costs you $1200 just to replace the thermostat, should due to fundamentally crooked design (using a new east-west engine that’s been adapted – badly – to power a RWD car.)
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 4:19pm
Adolf Fiinkensein

This reminds me of our graduation dinner at Lincoln, many moons ago.

At the top table were sat senior members of faculty, including the Chief Chuckle himself, Dr Burns. Tall stories were being told and up stood the Professor of Engineering, an Aussie whose name eludes me.

He told of overhearing three faculty wives discussing their respective husbands’ prowess.

“Oh, my Jim (Jimmy Crops) is a bit like a Volkswagen. All noise and no performance.”

Well, my Ralph (The valuer) is like an XJ6. Sleek, full of power and just keeps on going.”

Goodness! If we are talking of cars,my darling (the Chancellor) is just like a vintage Renault. Only comes out once a year and has to be started by hand.
12 0
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January 14, 2019 2:47pm
- john
  
  Good old Jimmy Crops
  
  2 0
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  January 14, 2019 5:59pm
  - Adolf Fiinkensein
    
    Yes indeed. He would walk at breakneck speed up some damned steep hill, talking all the way and then realise the class was still four hundred yards behind.
    
    I’m damned if I can remember the engineering prof’s name or Dr Burns’ christian name.
    
    It was Prof Burton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    1 0
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    January 14, 2019 6:52pm
Lee C

In the volunteer Rural Fire-fighters if we attend a burnig EV the advice is ‘You can’t stop them they re too volatile best to just let them burn’.

So Jacinda’s vehicle allocation is very appropriate, IMO.
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January 14, 2019 3:11pm
RRM

The Paula Bennett one – LOL what?

The new 4 cylinder FWD Holden is a complete travesty and calling it “Commodore” is a bad joke.

Actual bogans and westies would not be seen dead in the vicinity of one.

Even as a Ford man myself I feel their pain….
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January 14, 2019 3:13pm
RRM

I think the description they’ve given Simon Bridges would be a better fit for a C63 AMG (black, with black wheels, with the lights on in daytime, right up your arse) than a BMW 7 series…
6 0
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January 14, 2019 3:25pm
sooty

Slease Gallopaway.
Bata bullets.
They took the crown limo off him.
Now he’s got to walk or catch the bus!
5 0
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January 14, 2019 3:37pm
- burt
  
  I hear he has a ride-on lawnmower.
  
  5 0
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  January 14, 2019 3:52pm
Mobile Michael

Claire Curran – Rolls Royce. Thinks they’re discrete but everyone sees them about town.

Kelvin Davis – 1953 Ford Anglia. Has an appeal but ultimately just a piece of junk.

Amy Adams – Ford Focus. Reliable, stable but ultimately not going to set the world on fire with their performance.

David Seymour – Long Distance Coach. Seems comfortable and economical but ultimately people would prefer to travel any other way.
8 0
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January 14, 2019 4:10pm
unaha-closp

David Parker – 2002 Toyota Corolla.

2 star safety rating, terrible crash protection.
3 0
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January 14, 2019 4:41pm
- Colville
  
  But it will do 600,000 kms!
  
  2 0
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  January 14, 2019 6:21pm
lifesgood

Mostly mildly amusing but, gosh, those lefties are terrified of Simon Bridges, aren’t they? His was unnecessarily malicious.
9 0
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January 14, 2019 4:53pm
- Colville
  
  Young Si’ appears to be a bomb with a slow burning fuse.
  
  He seems to be asking a lot of questions that (I assume) He already knows the answers for.
  
  Its going to be a fun year.
  
  6 0
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  January 14, 2019 6:35pm
Yadayada

That’s brilliant. Twyford’s one in particular, is gold
3 0
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January 14, 2019 6:36pm
James Stephenson

The media constantly tell us Jacinda is s Ferrari, once you look semi-carefully, it’s obviously an MR2 with a plastic kit on top.
2 0
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January 14, 2019 8:24pm
- nz_aj
  
  Nah, more like the Ferrari toy car kiddie ride at the enterance to a mall.
  Looks sort of like a car but isn’t, might spin its wheels but doesn’t go anywhere, makes noises with nothing happening, bounces up ‘n down for anyone with a coin, really only attractive to children, doesn’t work often.
  
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  January 14, 2019 10:33pm
Biscuit

Very good – and, I agree, DPF, all the better for skewering all sides of the political spectrum…

Shame there wasn’t an ‘Only driven by two old women’ for Jimmy Two-Mums!

And surely Jass’s Nissan should have a ‘BAYBEE ON BOARD’ sign?
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January 14, 2019 9:28pm

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