The Zambesi is the fourth largest river in Africa and the largest flowing into the Indian Ocean. The basin is 1.4m square kms and it is 3,540 kms long.

Did a cruise on the Upper Zambesi. Had an open bar, which was also nice.

You cruise close to the islands in between the different channels, and here you can see a crocodile on land. Not a river you want to swim in, and even kayaking could have its risks.

A family of six hippos. Can’t see in this photo but one of them is a toddler and on the back of its mum.

Talking of toddlers, how cute is this baby crocodile? If it were not for the fact they grow up, you’d almost want to take it home as a pet 🙂

Dave Armstrong in the Dom Post gives out his Basil awards. Quite a few I agree with:

Basil Fawlty worst comeback of the year: First equal: Don Brash and Martin Crowe. While Crowe briefly filled every unfit middle-aged Kiwi bloke with hope, Brash showed us why we should never listen to a politician who says he has done his own private polling.

Oh you can listen to them, but demand a copy of the results and the questions asked.

Basil politician of the year: John Key: Hard to go past a politician who increased his party’s vote and held up the Centre-Right share despite tough times.

Basil local MP of the Year: Annette King: from bowling clubs to school prize-givings to theatre events, she seems to attend everything.

I suspect clones.

Pruned Basil best losing local election candidates: First equal: Paul Foster-Bell and James Shaw. The Wellington Central campaign was dominated by policies not personalities. Nice.

A few people have remarked on that.

Basil wreath for civic stupidity: First equal: the murderous bus lanes on Manners St; the clumsy education campaign for recycle bins.

Maybe they should put up a big flashing sign in Manners Street with a running total of the number of people killed, just injured and near misses with the buses. I did prefer the old Manners Mall.

Purple Basil for most tiring local issue: The Wellywood sign – where normally law-abiding people considered the use of explosives.

Explosives would have been overkill. A chainsaw though ….

This is the Victoria Falls Hotel. It is an Edwardian building, 107 years old, and it is like you are living in the Edwardian era – they serve high tea on the balcony there.  They also serve drinks, so I’ve spent most of my spare time drinking Zambesi Sparkles (their inhouse cocktail) there while working on my laptop, or reading a book.

This is the view from the front lawn. You can see the border/bungee bridge ahead, and the “smoke” from the falls also. A stunning view.

The baboons are everywhere – literally treating the place as if it is theirs. You see warthogs in the grounds also.

As with any good hotel, they have the local newspaper. This story was on the front page and no name suppression here. An injiva incidentially is what they call a Zimbabwean living in South Africa.

I love the fine of seven head of cattle for bedding a wife. Allows you to weigh up the risks in terms of being caught and the likely fine vs the benefits 🙂

One of the lounges inside the hotel.

David Livingstone named them the Victoria Falls after Queen Victoria, but the local name of Mosi-oa-Tunya or the Smoke that Thunders is such a better name for them. You can not appreciate how accurate that name is until you have been to the falls, seen the “smoke” and heard the thunder.

This is the left most fall from the Zimbabwe side. The falls are two kilometres wide, so you can not get a photo of the entire falls together, unless from a helicopter.

The bush is lush rainforest next to the falls – because they get plenty of rain from the falls. Except when the falls are at their lowest, you get soaked viewing them – and I mean soaked. The water comes from so high up you would swear it was raining if it not for the lack of clouds. You get wet in some parts even a couple of score of metres back. Sometimes with a strong wind the falls water will even hit the township a km or so away.

Heading into the main part of the falls now.

There are around 20 viewing points from the Zimbabwe side

And at the far end of the falls.

This bridge is the border crossing between Zimbabwe and Zambia, plus you can bungy jump from it, do a zip line of flying fox.

And very cool, you can white water raft from the bottom of the falls. I’ve rafted the Shotover a few times, but this would be a truly fun group activity. The guide told me that falling out in one of their rapids is somewhat more dangerous than on the Shotover.

A statue on the Zimbabwe side of David Livingstone – the first European to see the falls.

After spending two hours walking around the Zimbabwe side, I crossed over the bridge to the Zambia side. It’s around three kms all up walking across, and very hot. The worst things are not the heat though but the young touts. They are trying to sell you everything from useless currency to bracelets. They are absolute con artists, suggesting US$30 for a 10c bracelet. But sadly even refusing to buy or talk to them doesn’t help as they will follow you for at least a km telling you how they are starving (they do not look it), their family has no money, their grandparents will have to be kicked out as they can’t look after them etc etc.

I suspect many of them earn well over US$100 a day, which probably puts them in the top 1% in Zimbabwe. They’ll do anything to engage you in conversation so you feel obliged to give them some money, most commonly asking you where you come from. After around the 20th one had asked me this I snapped and said “The North Pole”. They all looked surprised as no one had ever said that before obviously. Then one of them asked if I really was from the North Pole, and I replied “No, but you all obviously think I am as you think I’m Father Fucking Christmas”. As it was Xmas Day, possibly a bit ungracious from me, but seriously these kids are hyenas in human form.

I was surprised to see one of the traditional WWI memorial states in Zambia, but then recalled that back then it was Northern Rhodesia.

You can see a raft here waiting to go down a bloody large rapid.

There are baboons on both sides, but they are way more numerous on the Zambia side. On half a dozen occasions I had to walk within a foot or two of some baboons, and you do hope they remain passive.

These are they very right hand side of the falls.

A small bridge, which gets soaking wet so you walk it very slowly. Great views from it though.

A shot of the bottom of the falls. On average they are 100 metres deep.

Now that would send the Department of Labour OSH team into a spin back home – having people walk along the top of the falls, where one slip would mean goneburger. At most of the lookouts there are no barriers – you can go as close to the edge as you feel safe. I have to say walking along the top of the falls in the water would be too much for me.

They look ready to take a swim in case they do fall! A fall would be fatal, so I presume why they were in togs was heading to the Devil’s Pool which is an area off Livingstone Island where you can swim at the top of the falls, but not get swept over. That would be fun to do – but I’d rather take a boat to Livingstone Island – not walk over to it.

A final shot of the falls from the Zambia side.

If you want to see all the different vantage points on both the Zimbabwe side and Zambia side, plus walk across the border crossing (something I’ve never done before), it’s around 10 kms of walking all up – and in hot sun. But the views are absolutely worth it. It is rightfully regarded as one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

It’s Xmas morning in Africa, and I got woken up by a loud banging on my window.  As my eyes adjust to being open, the banging carries on and I see staring in at me a fairly large baboon.

This is definitely a first – being woken up by a baboon knocking on my window. Well at least a first to have the baboon trying to get in, not get out 🙂

By John Stringer

Stuff reports:

New Zealanders have donated more than $8000 to the 5-year-old girl who was brutally violated in Turangi.

The girl was asleep with her three-year-old brother in a caravan at Club Habitat holiday park when she was attacked between 10.10pm and 10.40pm on Wednesday.

She needed four hours of surgery after receiving “heart-wrenching” injuries to her face and body in the sexually-motivated attack, Detective Inspector Mark Loper said.

Hundreds of people dropped off presents at Waikato Hospital yesterday and thousands more emailed or phoned with messages of support.

Police said the girl’s parents, believed to from Belgium, were incredibly appreciative of the generosity, but there was no capacity to take any more presents.

The family would only be able to take so much back to Europe and the surplus would help put smiles on the faces of a lot of sick children at the hospital.

Police said the family were reading all of the cards and messages being sent through the Waikato DHB email and they have been a huge support.

“We are very touched by the reactions of New Zealanders,” the parents said in a statement.

I was sickened and ashamed when I read of the barbaric assault on the five year old from Belgium. But this response from hundreds of total strangers epitomises the Christmas spirit, and is a wonderful reflection of most New Zealanders.

I just hope the Police catch the man responsible, and he is jailed indefinitely. Anyone who would do this to a five year old, with sexual motivation, can never be trusted out in the community again.

Answers 26 December 7 am, promise. Merry Christmas – Kokila

Merry Christmas to all readers, and may you have a peaceful day with your family and/or friends.

Dave Burgess at Stuff reports:

Police may have to forcibly evict Occupy Wellington protesters, who have vowed to defy a council deadline to vacate their Civic Square campsite.

Occupy Wellington protest “facilitator” Benjamin Easton said if the police arrived after the January 4 deadline they would have to physically remove protesters.

“I am not going to make it easy for them to remove me. I am going to make it as difficult as possible.

Now that names ring a bell. Inventory at Keeping Stock reminds us:

An unemployed Wellington man who boasted he was living on the dole to run court crusades on social issues has been told to report for an immediate work test.

Benjamin Easton, who has lodged an Environment Court appeal to stop Manners Mall being turned into a buses-only road, told The Dominion Post on Tuesday he was “deliberately and directly” on the dole so he could bring “the people’s challenge to the courts”.

“It is a sacrifice, really. I am perfectly capable of earning.”

Mr Easton said after the meeting that he had no intention of looking for paid work and had not applied for any jobs since going on the dole in 2007. “I am not going to stop doing what I’m doing.”

I wonder if Mr Easton is currently receiving welfare and if so, how is he making himself available for work and seeking work if he is camped out in civic square?

It doesn’t take a lot for true colours and foaming hatred to come out, and we see it with No Right Turn, in discussing whether Lady Thatcher should receive a state funeral. He blogs:

Unmentioned: selling the right to spit on the corpse or piss on her grave (because its going to happen, so they might as well get money for it). Hell, they could even provide the service, so that those unable to attend in person could have someone do it for them. Morality? Taste? The market does not know of such things. And if you’re happy with the mass unemployment, poverty and degradation which were the inevitable result of Thatcher’s policies, you can hardly get prissy about a little matter of degrading a corpse.

Worth remembering this the next time he goes on about how liberal he is – you know the stuff about how he’ll defend your right to have views different to his – except of course if you do he thinks your corpse should be spat on and pissed on.

The Kings Tower at The Palace of the Lost City provides a good view.

This is the main entrance to the hotel, which is totally surrounded by water.

The swimming pool and bar at the back.

In the distance the Valley of the Waves. Behind that is the Entertainment Centre and the Sun City Hotel.

The bush and vegetation is very lush here – makes for a beautiful scenic backdrop.

John Pagani blogs:

When ministers sit around next year asking if they what policy they can tweak here and there to increase wages and reduce poverty, they should look at increasing the minimum wage and increasing union membership so that wages rise as the economy recovers.

There – fixed, and they didn’t need to spend a dollar in the stretched budget. In fact, people who earn more pay more tax, so it helps the budget.

Pagani has made the same mistake the Greens have made. They seem to think that money prints on trees.

If an increase in the minimum wage pushes wages up for those on the minimum wage by say $800 million, then yes at 12.5% tax that will be an extra $100 million of PAYE tax collected.

However those businesses will have their profits reduced by $400 million (as money does not grow on trees as the left always assumes) and at 28% company tax, that is $224 million less tax. Hence the Government has $124m less tax revenue overall. So rather than help the budget, it actually does the opposite.

Also ironic that Pagani thinks increasing union membership will help the budget. The only budget most of them help is the Labour Party’s. And at least one of them don’t even pay PAYE tax on behalf of their employees – preferring to spend it on political campaigns instead.

Almost unbelievable that Christchurch has had four more significant quakes today – luckily no serious injuries, but the psychological impact must be wearying.

They were:

• 1.58 pm – magnitude 5.8 quake, 8km deep and centred 20km north east of Lyttelton
• 2.06 pm – magnitude 5.3 quake, 10km deep and centred 20km east of Christchurch
• 3.18 pm – magnitude 6.0 quake, 6km deep and centred 10km north of Lyttelton
• 4.50 pm – magnitude 5.0 quake, 10km deep and centred 20km north east of Lyttelton

There’s also been nine sub 5.0 quakes today also.

Let’s just hope this is the worse of it.

I’m now having a couple of days of total relaxation at the Palace of the Lost City in the Sun City resort. Well when I say total relaxation, I mean in between writing my Herald column, doing a Stuff blog, and writing up four reports for clients!

Sun City is an enclosed resort and I’d describe it as a cross between Disneyland and Las Vegas.

This is the view from my hotel room.

As is this.

This is the entrance to the Palace. There are four hotels in the Sun City resort. Three of them are mainly used by South Africans on family holidays, and this one more by international visitors. However you have access to restaurants and casinos in all four hotels, pus get free entry to specialist areas such as the Temple of the Waves.

I liked this as safe play for kids. Somehow they get them inside these inflatable balls and they can have fun in the water with no risk of drowning.

This huge pool is in the Temple of the Waves, and has a giant wave machine. Lots of fun.

They have five water slides here, including this one which is a near vertical drop. Have I mentioned how much I love water slides! Kiwis are beating the Aussies 33-29 in the water slide challenge after one afternoon!

Young but Grumpy blogs a screenshot of Wellington City Councillor Bryan Pepperell’s Facebook page where he promotes a conspiracy video alleging that Mossad were behind 9/11 – not Al Qaeda.