General Debate 20 September 2011

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bereal

Rodders – i wouldn’t call you a sicko. i wouldn’t even suggest that your pseudonym hinted
at any leaning towards deviancy. But you seldom find a ‘man ‘ called “Rodders.”
i’m glad that you love me.

But i’m sorry i have to disabuse you sweetie.
i don’t love you. And i’m so, so, very sorry.

Maybe a councillor with a grey cardigan and sandals could help you.
Or maybe you should join a male only drum group in a sweatlodge. They may be able to give you some succour. Did i miss out the K ?
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September 20, 2011 5:24pm
Rodders

Nothing you say will diminish the feelings I have for you, bereal (I just wanted the world to know.)
XX
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September 20, 2011 5:27pm
Elaycee

kiwisimplexity (21) Says: Yada yada yada – yawn.

Why do you keep posting links on Kiwiblog that attempt to draw hits to your own blog?

Do your own work.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/link_whoring
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September 20, 2011 5:31pm
Elaycee

“But you seldom find a ‘man ‘ called “Rodders.””

What about the famous Rodney (rodders) Trotter?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Trotter
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September 20, 2011 5:34pm
bereal

Ok Rodders,
The Lord sometimes works in mysterious ways.
Who are we to question Him ?
Truce, if you like ?
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September 20, 2011 5:36pm
Rodders

Elaycee – well spotted 🙂
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September 20, 2011 5:36pm
Rodders

“Who are we to question Him ?”

Or her 😉
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September 20, 2011 5:37pm
Scott Chris

Rodders

Ha, me and a million others. She’s all woman is Scarlett. She could be really mean to me and I wouldn’t mind. Same with Gwyneth Paltrow. And Jody Foster.

Sigh. Looks like you’ve been stirring up the natives again. Tut tut 😀
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September 20, 2011 5:38pm
Rodders

Scott – it is amazing that such a plain looking woman has managed to forge such a successful career 😉
http://fitnessanddefense.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/scarlett_johansson-1.jpg
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September 20, 2011 5:40pm
bereal

Oh shit.
i made a mistake.
Hope i haven’t unleashed a whole new load of puke from Scott.

Scott. Me and Rodders were close to cummin to some understanding.
i could almost taste it.
Why cant you just fuck off for once ?
Even for a minute.
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September 20, 2011 5:47pm
Scott Chris

Bereal “Hope i haven’t unleashed a whole new load of puke from Scott.”

Did someone call my name? Now now, don’t feed me Bereal.

A pile of vomit walks into a bar, sobbing uncontrollably. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”
The vomit says, “Sorry to be all sentimental, but this is the place where I was brought up.
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September 20, 2011 6:03pm
somewhatthoughtful

so many posts today DPF, but nothing about your team wanting to ride roughshod over our court system? Wow.
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September 20, 2011 6:08pm
bereal

OK Scott and Rodders
gotta go to work now.
c u 2 morra

Try for the record.
i’m sure that if you put your minds to it you two plonkers can achieve 50% or more.
Of the posts on the GD by say, midday ?
Please don’t fuck it up by posting anything pertinent or topical.
i know you girls will not let us down.
Good luck to your families .
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September 20, 2011 6:36pm
mikenmild

I had to laugh at One News this evening. When talking about the Urewera law change, etc, the reporter boasted that he had used Google to find a relevant Law Commission report. FFS, aren’t these morons supposed to keep up with current events?
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September 20, 2011 6:48pm
nasska

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male…. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
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September 20, 2011 7:00pm
reid

This looks like a book worth reading for those interested in Rupert the man:

The experiences I describe in Good Times, Bad Times have turned out to be eerily emblematic. The dark and vengeful undertow I sensed and then experienced in the last weeks of my relationship with Murdoch correctly reflected something morally out of joint with the way he ran his company. In the decades that followed my year at the Times, the inside rot was matched only by the menace that came to represent to the civil discourse and the whole political establishment. Prime ministers, Tory and Labour alike, were so scared of blackmail by headline they gave him whatever he asked. In the opening pages here, I recount the political manoeuvres by which he secured a big stake in BSkyB – entering Downing Street by the back door to get Mrs Thatcher to waive the competition law just as she had done for his acquisition of Times Newspapers in 1981.

Or maybe he’s just capitalising on a brief insider association? Who knows. Personally I’m going to skim the library copy first and see what it says.
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September 20, 2011 7:20pm
Scott Chris

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
The message “Bad command” or “file name” is about as informative as, “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.”
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your wages on accessories for it.
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September 20, 2011 7:39pm
Scott Chris

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you’d waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They emit noxious gasses and only work half the time.
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September 20, 2011 7:43pm
Scott Chris

In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

1)lovemaking
2)screwing
3)hot beef injection

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:

1)your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
2)your blood-test results
3)five tequila slammers

You time your orgasm so that:

1)your partner climaxes first
2)you both climax simultaneously
3)you don’t miss the league

Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

1)healthy, creative love-play
2)not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
3)not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:

1)the best part of the experience
2)the second best part of the experience
3)$100 extra

Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

1)No concern of yours
2)not a problem, she can join your gym
3)a conservative estimate

You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:

1)a myth
2)an oxymoron
3)a moron

Foreplay is to sex as:

1)appetizer is to entree
2)primer is to paint
3)a line is to an amusement park ride

Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

1)”I hope we can still be friends.”
2)”I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.”
3)”Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU.”

A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

1)probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
2)is uptight and a waste of time
3)shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered “a” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered “b” more
than seven times, check into therapy, you’re still a little confused. If you answered “c” more than 7 times, “You da MAN!
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September 20, 2011 7:57pm
nasska

Married 30 years, Bruce and Sheila are lying in bed one night.
Suddenly Sheila felt Bruce begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck and began moving down past the small of her back.
He caressed her shoulders and neck, then worked his hand down over her breasts stopping just over her lower stomach. Moving to her left inner arm, and caressed her side, passed gently over her buttocks and down her leg to her calf, then traced up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. After doing the same on her right side, he suddenly stopped, rolled over, and became silent.
As Sheila had enjoyed all this she said” Jesus Bruce, I was just getting horny there, why the fuck did you stop?”
To which Bruce replies;” I found the remote” ..
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September 20, 2011 8:00pm
Elaycee

A Jewish boy went to New York for a holiday. After a few weeks he called his mother on the phone and said, “I have great news, mother, I have met a beautiful girl and I am getting married!”

“Oy vey,” his mother exclaimed, “I hope she’s Jewish. What’s her name?”

“Goldberg!” the boy told her.

“That’s a wonderful Jewish name,” his mother smiled, “What’s her first name?”

“Whoopi!” replied the boy…
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September 20, 2011 8:18pm
nasska

The Maori tribes have had a major hui & have decided to solve their own fuel problems.
They’ve imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they’re going to drill for their own oil.
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September 20, 2011 8:27pm
Pauleastbay

Dear Lucia

Abstinence is only 99.9% effective

kind regards

Mary (The Virgin)
(Josephs Missus)
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September 20, 2011 8:51pm
Scott Chris

Back in 1867, two soldiers come upon an Maori lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the soldiers stops and says to the other, “You see
that Maori?”
“Yeah,” says the other soldier.
“Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction.”
Just then the Maori looks up. “Covered wagon,” he says,
“about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.”
“Incredible!” says the soldier. “How on earth can you tell from
listening to the ground?”
The Maori looks up and gasps, “Ran over me about a
half hour ago.”
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September 20, 2011 8:53pm
nasska

A young devoutly religious girl comes home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, “David proposed to me an hour ago.”

“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asks.

“Because he also told me he’s an atheist. Mum, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.”

Her mother replies, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him just how wrong he is.”
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September 20, 2011 8:59pm
Scott Chris

A film crew was on location deep in the Ureweras. One day an
old Maori went up to Peter Jackson and said, “Tomorrow’s gonna rain mate.”
The next day it rained.
A week later, the Maori went up to Peter Jackson and said,
“Tomorrow’s gonna be a big storm.”
The next day there was a hailstorm.
“This Maori is incredible,” said Peter. He told his
secretary to hire the Maori to predict the weather. However,
after several successful predictions, the old Maori didn’t
show up for two weeks.
Finally Peter sent for him. “I have to shoot a big
scene tomorrow and I’m depending on you.
What will the weather be like?”
The Maori shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know mate,” he said.
“Radio’s broken.”
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September 20, 2011 9:01pm
nasska

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your Grandma.”
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September 20, 2011 9:11pm
reid

I hope Graeme Hart and Eric Watson do this one day…

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/sep/18/russian-billionaires-fight

I would larf and larf…
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September 20, 2011 9:12pm
Scott Chris

It was election time and Phil Goff decided to go out to
the local Marae and try to get the Maori vote.
They were all assembled in the wharenui to hear the speech.
Phil Goff had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was
getting more and more excited.
“I promise better education opportunities for Maori!”
The crowd went wild, shouting “Paku! Paku!”.
Phil was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was
encouraged by their enthusiasm.
“I promise gambling reforms to allow a casino on the marae!”
“Paku! Paku!” cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
“I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Maori!”
The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting “Paku! Paku! Paku!”
After the speech, Phil was touring the Marae, and
saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a farm,
and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Kaumatua if he could get
closer to take a look at the cattle.
“Sure,” the Kaumatua said, “but be careful not to step in the Paku!”
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September 20, 2011 9:15pm
nasska

Three women are discussing sex and birth control.

The first woman says,
‘We’re Catholic, so we can’t use it.’

The second woman says,
`I’m also Catholic, but we use the rhythm method.’

The third woman says, `We use the bucket-and-saucer
method.’

Fascinated, the other women ask for an explanation.
“Well, I’m 1.80 m and my husband is 1.50 m,” the third
woman says.

‘We make love standing up with him standing on a
bucket, and when his eyes get as big as saucers I kick
the bucket out from under him.’

Goodnight all.
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September 20, 2011 9:28pm
F E Smith

davincimode,

sorry about the late reply, I had to go over there…

re your 4.56pm comment,

“One might infer then, that the police weren’t left to their own devices to blunder around on this and, very likely in light of the seriousness of the ongoing investigations with which Government has sought to justify this legislative change, they weren’t alone in screwing up those either. ”

I am not sure. Reading the judgment, there appears to be a fair bit of reliance on the Courts to justify the individual unlawful acts by saying that it was unlawful and unreasonable but not out of proportion to the seriousness of the charges. To do that intentionally is extremely bad; if it wasn’t intentional then at best it is wilfull blindness. But they may well have had legal advice saying that it the charges in the Urewera case were so serious (being terrorism charges that were under consideration) that the Court would most likely allow the surveillance to be admitted, notwithstanding that it was unlawful and unreasonable. I would hope that they didn’t get that sort of advice, because it would be very wrong in an ethical sense, but of course we will probably never know.

Re para 73, that is the Court and not a defendant’s lawyer speaking. And I don’t think it is too harsh.
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September 20, 2011 11:33pm
Manolo

Investigating the new Jimmy Carter: http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/182553-issa-to-investigate-government-loan-programs
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September 21, 2011 5:03am

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