Espiner on Alan B’Stard

June 17th, 2014 at 11:00 am by David Farrar

writes:

Mayall’s character Alan B’Stard in The New Statesman was so close to privileged Tory truth that it was practically a documentary. B’Stard’s promises on the hustings; abolish taxes, free housing, free tuition fees, and free electricity don’t seem so very far away from what our own parties are promising in the upcoming general election.

Neither, incidentally, does B’Stard’s frank admission that none of his promises will ever happen: “We just say we’re going to make these changes, then when we get in we just blame the other lot and say they stopped us doing it.”

And B’Stard on the beauty of proportional voting: “Even if they don’t vote for me I’ll probably still get in.” The secret of great comedy may be timing, but good satire needs also to be uncomfortably close to the truth.

He must be a Labour campaign strategist! We may only get 29%, but if we can get Greens, Winston, Hone and Kim Dotcom there also, we might beat the guys on 48%!

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25 Responses to “Espiner on Alan B’Stard”

  1. mjw (391 comments) says:

    Tony Abbott seems to be the recent exemplar of right wing B’Starditry, breaking all his promises and pursuing a massive hidden agenda as soon as he got in to power.

    It does make you wonder what John Key will do in a third term. He has steered a fairly middle of the road course so far. But if he plans to stop after three terms as PM, perhaps he will throw caution to the winds next year, and do a Tony Abbott? Certainly there will be many people in National hoping he does just that.

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  2. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    Whereas with FPP no one but National wins and that sposed to be democracy.

    The National Socialists don’t like democracy.

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  3. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    “pursuing a massive hidden agenda…”

    If you haven’t worked out the Nat/Lab coalition have hidden agenda’s you obviously stick to reading the MSM.

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  4. stigie (1,063 comments) says:

    “Certainly there will be many people in National hoping he does just that”.

    And so too the Conservatives as well.

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  5. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    “It does make you wonder what John Key will do in a third term.”

    Nothing to wonder about. JK will do nothing. His boyhood ambition was to be PM, and having achieved that milestone, all he now wants to do is manage the socialist economy better than Labour.

    His legacy already exists.

    It is a destroyed and dysfunctional National Party that competes with Labour as to how “Progressive” it can make NZ.

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  6. RRM (9,783 comments) says:

    I like progress.

    A National party that is not too grey power conservative stops me voting red or green. ;-)

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  7. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    Always amuses me to see idiots compelled to add smilies to every comment they make, as if to emphasize the point that they’re clueless imbeciles.

    As if not being able to realise there’s no real difference between JK’s National and a Labour Greens coalition doesn’t make it plain enough.

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  8. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    Obviously with H Clark (with the help of J Key) running for head of the UN we can know confirmation that if you let the UN run things you get ahead with them.

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  9. dime (9,791 comments) says:

    “It does make you wonder what John Key will do in a third term. He has steered a fairly middle of the road course so far. But if he plans to stop after three terms as PM, perhaps he will throw caution to the winds next year, and do a Tony Abbott? Certainly there will be many people in National hoping he does just that.”

    lol the left still trying to paint JK as some ultra dirtbag.

    I WISH he had a hiden agenda and he goes full b’stard but it aint gonna happen.

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  10. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    The TPP is the hidden agenda Dime

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  11. stigie (1,063 comments) says:

    The commenters on here that use smiley faces are genuinely friendly people Reddy. No biggie !~

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  12. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    Off topic FW, but smearing people with lies is a vicious and cowardly act and adding a smiley doesn’t make it any less so.

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  13. RRM (9,783 comments) says:

    As if not being able to realise there’s no real difference between JK’s National and a Labour Greens coalition doesn’t make it plain enough.

    One of these things is slowly but surely bringing deficits under control, while the other was going to bankrupt the country remorselessly.

    But you’re right, there’s no difference.

    PS: eat it..

    :lol: :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :lol:
    :-) :lol: :-) :-) :-) :lol: :-)
    :-) :-) :lol: :-) :lol: :-) :-)
    :-) :-) :-) :-P :-) :-) :-)
    :-) :-) :lol: :-) :lol: :-) :-)
    :-) :lol: :-) :-) :-) :lol: :-)
    :lol: :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :lol:

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  14. mandk (954 comments) says:

    @ stigie
    Agreed :-)

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  15. stigie (1,063 comments) says:

    After seeing all those smileys RRM, i may have to take some meds and have a wee lay down !~

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  16. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    “One of these things is slowly but surely bringing deficits under control, while the other was going to bankrupt the country remorselessly.”

    That’s just garbage.

    Debt has ballooned under JK as unlike Tony Abbot he has refused to risk his popularity taking the steps that should be taken.

    NZers are paying around $6 billion a year in interest by some estimates, and this is money that is wasted but has to be paid as the price for reckless govt spending as engaged in by Labour AND NATIONAL. Spending is projected to reach close to $100 billion in a few years. (Treasury estimates)

    As for projections relating to the debt reducing, these only bring it back to 2012 levels even if they’re right, which they probably won’t be because 1) Bill English is hardly ever right and 2) they’re based on global economic activity over 5 or 6 years which no man is his right mind would claim to be able to predict with any certainty.

    So keep using the braindead smilies. Its in keeping with your desire to continue being played as a fool by socialist governments of only slightly different hues.

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  17. SGA (983 comments) says:

    Redbaiter at 11:47 am

    Always amuses me to see idiots compelled to add smilies to every comment they make, as if to emphasize the point that they’re clueless imbeciles.

    True – others do manage very well without.

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  18. RRM (9,783 comments) says:

    Unlike yourself Redbaiter I actually rub shoulders with the kind of unwashed leftie voters who think John Key and David Cunliffe just pocket most of the tax money (or give it to their friends in the business world in brown paper envelopes) and any politician who promises to increase spending on social services is therefore a hero for striving to return some of our money to us.

    They walk among us and there are a lot of them, and they vote.

    What you always forget in your desire for conservative ideological purity, is the small matter of electability.
    An ideologically pure National opposition could not stop Labour/ Mana/ Greens spending spending like there’s no tomorrow.

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  19. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    “An ideologically pure National opposition could not stop Labour/ Mana/ Greens spending spending like there’s no tomorrow.”

    Same old brain dead capitulation.

    I’ll grant you one thing, and that is that under JK you’re right, but that is only because he doesn’t have the conviction or the leadership qualities needed to draw the country with him.

    For those qualities you have to look at politicians with guts and vision, not simpering little foreign exchange dealers who scrabbled to the top of National by means of stacking the party with leftists.

    Real leaders like Reagan, Thatcher, Abbot and Farage for example could do it. But you’re right. The smiling and waving empty suited mainstream media favourite Progressive John Key could never do it.

    (BTW, last comment- you forgot the idiot avatar)

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  20. Rex Widerstrom (5,346 comments) says:

    Redbaiter says:

    …unlike Tony Abbot he has refused to risk his popularity taking the steps that should be taken

    Those with a sense of entitlement were always going to squeal about reasonable moves such as the imposition of a $7 fee for a GP visit – something Labor under Hawke tried to introduce.

    But Abbott has blundered in several ways. For instance there’s no way you can sell belt-tightening while photographed sitting in the cockpit of a jet fighter that’s going to cost $16 billion. That’s “Michael Dukakis sitting in a tank” stupid.

    And it makes it much harder to sell when you drop the carbon and mining taxes, which benefit the companies of Australia’s richest man (Andrew Forrest) and woman (Gina Reinhart) but then re-jig the tax system so they’re worse off by around $1,000 a year while a family on the average wage is down by around $6,000.

    It’s all entirely avoidable, and provides endless ammunition to his critics, who can use the formula “how can you [something that's perfectly reasonable] when you’re also [something that's plain stupid, given the circumstances].” If the former stood alone, without the distraction of the latter, he might not be at Gillard-like levels of approval right now.

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  21. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    Rex you’re only repeating left wing media memes.

    For God’s sake get a perspective that isn’t spoon fed to you by the Age or the NYT. (for just a couple of examples)

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  22. David Garrett (6,992 comments) says:

    Ed: Your 11.31 is pretty much spot on…I could tell you just how spot on, but then certain people wouldn’t continue to share confidences with me…As for the rest of your ravings…sad man, just sad,…

    But good to see the blood sugar level (or whatever it was) has come back to a better equilibrium than on Sunday…

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  23. Rex Widerstrom (5,346 comments) says:

    Redbaiter, my MSM consumption, Australia-wise, is pretty much limited to The Australian and the ABC’s 7.30 Report, so I know what media on both sides of the debate are thinking and saying.

    My opinions are entirely my own, and are the advice I’d be giving him as a professional political consultant. You cannot preach austerity and buy the military new toys. You might just get away with it in NZ, since our armed forces are equipped with a tugboat and a slingshot thanks to Clark. But the Australian military have a lot of impressive kit, and Australia is well protected by the US, which has a permanent Marine force based in the north.

    Right now, with the mess left by Gillard and Rudd to clean up, Australia can’t afford flash new fighter jets. I don’t need the MSM to tell me that, Red. I have common sense.

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  24. Redbaiter (8,344 comments) says:

    “You cannot preach austerity and buy the military new toys.”

    You can, because defence of the realm is a traditional priority for govt. Most of the rest it busies itself with is bullshit.

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  25. ChardonnayGuy (1,197 comments) says:

    “NZ Labour advisor?” Uh, no, actually not, David (F). I was a great fan of The New Statesman, and in an eerie premonition of contemporary UK politics (c2014), the final season of that excellent UK political satire predicted that the Conservatives would be torn apart by the European Union membership obsession, which did occur for most of the Noughties. New Statesman also predicted the rise of a separatist Eurosceptic party which ate into Tory opinion ratings like acid in its final episode (UKIP- founded two years later).

    Alan B’Stard was one of the benchmark classic figures of political satire. It is why Rik Mayall’s tragically premature death is such an awful loss…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Statesman

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