The Trans-Tasman election summary

A humourous summary of the election campaign from Trans-Tasman:

National: “Ackschully, we’d love to have a second term, to do all sorts of good things. What good things? We’ll work out the details later. Hey, is Phil Goff a loser or what?”

Labour: “We’re not getting into personal attacks, but John Key is a lying scumbag, and anyone who likes him is a moron.”

ACT: “Catching Australia…whiirr BZZTT…2025 Task Force whirr BZZT…..Lower taxes whirr BZZT…Resource Management Act reform whirr BZZTT…Waitangi gravy train wshirr BZZT…. legalise cannabis whirr BZZTTT [EXPLOSION].”

Green Party: “The Apocalypse is Nigh!! The World is Ending! Won’t somebody please think of the children?? Please vote for us and we’ll
get a better deal on house insulation. Oh, and whatever Labour promises to spend or tax – we’ll spend and tax more.”

Mana Party: “We’re staunch. Feed our kids. White mo-fos can go home, unless they’re John Minto or Sue Bradford.”

Maori Party: “We have a seat at the Cabinet table. Well, a kind of wobbly stool, near the door.”

United Future: “Sensible, moderate, responsible….Hello? Anyone there? Hello……”


%d bloggers like this: