Middle Class Witches
August 10th, 2009 at 2:38 pm by Tara te HekeWe are not so different.
You don’t work. Neither do I.
We both wanted children to keep our man happy. We expected it to mean forever. That the word is bond.
You live in Remuera in your big mansion, I live up the hill overlooking you in Orakei. We share the same view.
You drive a Mercedes and it guzzles gas, I drive a Mazda-bator and it leaks oil.
We drive the same road you and I. The same side. The same direction. Under the same rules.
You are happily a beneficiary of your husband and his labour. I am reluctantly a beneficiary of the State, the taxpayer and theirs.
You go to lunch with your friends by the water, drink champagne and nibble at salad and woodfire pizza. I have lunch on my lawn overlooking the water with my mates drinking beers from the bottle shop and pizza from the Pizza Hut.
Your friends compliment Parnell resident John Key and how he’s getting on. My friends and I discuss how lucky John Key is that he couldn’t get pregnant while living in a State House.
When you need help you call the cleaner, the gardener, the plumber and the nanny. I can only call my mother and she can’t help today. She says sorry.
You worry about your kids getting into Kings. I worry about my kids getting to school at all.
Your kids get to go to Kings. If Housing NZ decided to move us, mine could go next door to Otahuhu.
If my children work hard they could sit next to yours at University. The same place.
You worry about your husband working late, not getting home and helping you with the kids. My man was at the pub with his friends as well.
You worry about your husband and the new secretary. I worry about my man and the next woman just like me.
Your husband says sorry with diamonds and holidays. My man beats me and the children and I leave.
Will you when he treats you badly?
Or will you stay for the money? The prestige? To just not be like me. Alone with children.
You leave and get half of everything you haven’t earned and gain the sympathy of your friends. I leave and have to go to welfare and gain the disdain of the nation.
We are not so different.
You and I.
Related posts:
- Middle Class Welfare from Labour
- White Middle-class Women can’t say? – Jadis
- The pizza hierarchy
- Loud Shirt Day
August 10th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Why are you so bitter? Playing the victim for the rest of your life is going to take you and your children nowhere.
Yes, we think your ex sounds like a violent idiot as well.
Vote:But you made your choices, why should others pay for them
August 10th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I feel sorry for you. Not for your situation (over which you have some but not all control), but for your attitude (over which you have, or should have, 100% control). Determine to fix the latter and the former will improve. It will take time – but that’s something we all have.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Don’t look at the face. Look at the guts of it.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Playing the victim’s card doesn’t do it for me.
You should start by accepting responsibility for your own mistakes, then pick yourself up and get on with life. You and your children will benefit from the change in attitude.
Life is not supposed to be easy, unless you’re Whoar, who only looks forward to benefit day.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Perhaps I am being a bit harsh.
But a similar situation happened to me and my siblings (without the violence by my father).
He walked out on us, and gave us nothing. My mother, with a bit of help from my grandparents, raised us, slaved her guts out working 60-70 hour weeks to provide for us and pay bills. It was a struggle, but she never showed weakness. Her efforts are indelibly etched into my memory as a lesson in life, never give up, work hard, and provide for those you love.
I digress because my mother’s attitude seems to be in stark contrast to yours. She was slaving away in low wage jobs, but always maintained a facade of happiness, never any bitterness or tall poppy syndrome.
If she can do it, why can’t others? Life is tough, that is the point, what makes your situation any different to many of us?
TARA – you have said it yourself “with a bit of help”. tall poppy? How are any of the women I describe here “tall poppy’s”?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Tara, You and I are not so different, you know. Even when you take into account that i’m a mid-thirtysomething-white-male on a six figure income.
like you, I’ve done it hard. Like you, I’ve been beaten, Like you, I’ve struggled to provide for my children while on welfare, and like you, i’ve been extremely bitter and sad.
But you know what? There comes a time when you just have to stop looking at all the past negatives and hurts. There comes a time where you have a choice. You can either carry on down that path of bitterness and unhappiness, or you can look to the future, one miniscule success at a time.
Had I chosen the former, i would not be as successful as I am today. I have achieved a leap of epic proportions in just a few short years. I have done it solely for my children, whom i love and cherish even more than my own life.
Tara, You and I are not different at all. We are both human, and as a result we both have the ability to overcome any obstacle put in our way. We all have the ability to be inspirational if we give ourselves even half a chance.
Kia kaha
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Tara: “We are not so different.”
I agree. I suspect you are a middle class liberal writer posing as a fictional South Auckland DP beneficiary.
TARA – I’ve suspected for the past 2 days you are a South Auckland DP beneficiary posing as Alan Wilkinson.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
lol @ Alan
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
If I were you Tara I’d quite while I’m ahead. We have had plenty of people recently digging holes they are now finding it bloody hard to pull themselves out of. Must be the week for it.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Still, points worth pondering. Are the Jakes stuck in their own lives like the social and financial climbing executives?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Pay it back!
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Tara – the Remuera woman you describe makes up about .01% of the population. I know a few of those sort but most women I know whose kids are at Kings (or equivelent) also work. Hardly any of them are kept women. Instead of big, strong and brown you should have picked nerdy, average and sober.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Too right Brian Smaller – I agree with Wilkinson about the author being a middle class writer pretending to be on the DPB. The stereotyping is hootingly risible – something maybe an Intermediate School kid would write.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
This “guest poster” is DPF’s little joke or wind up.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Hi Tara, you’ve had a rough time of it on Kiwiblog. You sound really hurt by it. Unlike your past, this time you have a real choice about whether to tolerate pain and hurt. I would just leave it – as it’s not worth putting yourself in the aim of fire like this – especially in the form of a blog site where people can come across more flippant than they would in a face to face conversation (since emails can’t convey tone) and feel no obligation online to consider your feelings. You’ve been very brave. Best of luck.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
WJ, if you think a South Auckland Maori DPB mother would write this you have led too sheltered a life.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I agree with BB: this a prank concocted by DPF.
Tara, come clean and tell us who you really are. A well-off Wellingtonian writing from the comfort of home, sipping Pinot Gris, maybe?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Alan – oh I don’t know about that. I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see. All I know is that I will take it at face value for now and if it is a joke and not a real person then I’ll quite happily wear the egg on my face. You can be the first to throw it if you like!
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Hey Tara, your situation sounds shit and it sucks to be you. Life is full of unfairness and truth be told you’re better posting on a Greens blog because they cater for people like you, I am an ACT supporter myself and I agree largely with what most people here have said – a right wing philosophy says it’s up to you to sort your own stuff out. While my own situation hasn’t been as bad in terms of physical violence I was raised in a household where my dad was in some serious debt, which he would say is arguably worse than being on a benefit, because there were people coming to our house threatening to kill him every month. In the end for the sake of protecting me and my mum and sister we had to escape overseas while he stayed in Taiwan working his ass off to pay off the debts, and in that country you get welfare for six months and that’s it. It’s not so bad now and he’s a lot safer than he used to be now.
Is there anyway I can help you at all? I work fulltime in the Auckland CBD but am available over the weekends if you need help looking after your kids or anything, like even if you just need someone to take them down to the park for the afternoon or take them to Church or something. Or would you like someone to help you with your housework – unfortunately I have no plumbing skills either though so it’d have to be really basic stuff. Flick me an e-mail on rubyice@windowslive.com if you want.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Re Alan Wilkinson at 3.02….
I’m also suspicious. My experience has been that battlers like the writer purports to be are usually the strongest, the most resilient people and whinge least about their luck, and there is an enormous amount of luck in life, as even Warren Buffett points out.
Of course we will always need a welfare net for the most unfortunate. My main problem with welfare is that it weakens the moral obligation on us as individuals to help and encourage those down on their luck temporarily or permanently. Increasing secularisation worsens this trend, I’m afraid, and I’m a religious unbeliever.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Benefit cause complacency, if Tara had to work to support her kids she’d find a way – finding a neighbour to look after them while she earned an income wouldn’t be hard, all Tara needs is the motivation.
People who get ahead do so by working to get ahead, I know plenty of middle-class women with kids who have jobs like packing shelves at the supermarket, they don’t need the money for the basics – their husbands are on good incomes – they earn the extra money because they want more than the basics in their lives.
Tara, you’re obviously satisfied living the life you do because that’s the life you’ve chosen.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
WJ, I gave her first posts the benefit of the doubt – maybe someone was writing up her story for her.
But this one, there is just no way she would even think like this – supposedly having stopped keeping up at school aged 10.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
And the name….
And: “My name, for the purposes of this guest blogging stint at least, is Peter Gibbons”
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Yeah, I’m beginning to think this is a bit of a prank as well, when I consider Taras statement yesterday:
“At 19 I found the man of my dreams there. Big, strong and brown. To start with it was like a fairytale. Then he got angry easily and gave me the bash. Often. I thought if I gave him some children it would be better, that he would grow up and be a great Dad. I had the first one at 20 when is topped working”
so the guy was bashing her within a year, in fact it could have been a matter of weeks from when they first hooked up to when she became pregnant to him? I’m sorry but who on earth would place themselves in that situation.
Tara – Would you have been so quick to have children to him (considering he’s already bashing you) if the DPB wasn’t there as a backstop?
Yes – I think you are very different to what you compare yourself to
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Why do you blow your money on beer and pizza? You could save money by making decent, healthy food and it would be better for you and your kids. As for the Remuera types you seem so bitter about, why worry about them? Their shallow, self important lives aren’t worth spending time resenting and there aren’t that many of them anyway.
Anyway, I’m sitting in a bach where the temperature is 14 degrees while my pregnant partner is at home on her own. The reason? I’m self employed and this happens to be where this weeks work is. I had porridge for breakfast and toast for lunch, you expect me to feel sorry for you? I really hope this is a joke.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
This one may be a “joke”. But for many it ain’t, it’s real, albeit with a different vocabulary.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Well if it is a prank I’ll be pissed at DPF.
Yes this is his ‘home’ and we’re ‘guests’, but part of being a civil host – normal social contract stuff – is not mocking your guests or abusing their trust
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Methinks many kiwiblog readers are very, very scared that this woman was hand-picked by DPF to guest post here….
Edit: PS – perhaps tomorrow’s guest poster will be Mr Bill Gates on “I made my first billion. Why can’t you? Stop whinging about the socialists and choose to get ahead…”
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
You and my mates wife is not so different.
They too used to sit and drink beer with us and eat pizza looking at the water..
Real fisho loved the sea. And she loved that he could take the kids out (and her) on their little runabout, picnics on the islands.
No you not so different. She too is struggling to make ends meet.
But more then struggling or being bitter that the house is now for sale and the boat and cars are long gone, she just cries for her beloved that she buried three months ago. Gone at 34 after fighting cancer for a year.
Everything spent on trying to give him and the kids precious time together. Paying for treatment in Australia and the Europe to buy days to be spent with a son and a daughter.
No actually you are a lot different, she is not bitter, dont see herself as a victim, just remembers the good times and gets on with trying to put a shattered life back together again. To start again. No you two are quite different.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
We both wanted children to keep our man happy
Eh?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
The bio reads like an extract from a first novel – a concoction of cliches and sterotypes that put together are meant to describe a real person. (In this case a typical DPB beneficiary). And of course it attracts a predictable response. Is it April 1 again?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
If I used the word ‘contrived’ I’m a bit worried Tara knows the meaning of the word.
Maori women aren’t concerned whether ‘Jilly’ in Remuera is enjoying her life. More power to her they would say.
Maori women like to find the solutions for themselves.
That’s why there’s a Maori Women’s Welfare League.
That’s why ex-Black Power women made a trust for themselves and are now educated social workers enjoying their middle age with dignity.
Non of these women lashed out at the middle classes. They worked out the system pragmatically and found their situations were nothing new and used what they had learnt from their past to improve their future. Now there’s books about them.
I really thought you were one of them too Tara
Really a disillushioned poor white woman looking 40 in the eye who can’t find a stable working husband.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
And even if Maori women could afford it, they wouldn’t want the Remuera lifestyle any way.
How many Maori lawyers are there in Remuera?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Best thing here Tara is to take heed of the following:
“LOOK BACK< BUT DON'T STARE"
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
There is no mention in the article about anyone in the ### middle ### classes. (or any witches for that matter!)
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Simon, have you ever heard an ordinary Maori even use the term “middle class”? Leaving aside academics, unionists, and politicians? Me neither.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
I can easily believe this is a post of someone on a benefit, and it would be very unlike DPF to set up a fraudulent guest blogger. I don’t think there is any claim that Tara is typical of everyone else on a benefit – DPF would clearly pick someone who he thought would be an interesting blogger, and I doubt that would be someone who cannot string two words together.
So I’ll believe that Tara is who she says she is. The lazy use of stereotypes to me fits with the (admittedly few) people I know on a benefit. The stereotyping of the “other” who has it so easy, and wondering why her life is hard by comparison. Not noticing that, other than a very small few, nobody has it easy.
So, taking the post at face value. If the question is, what is the dividing line here? How fragile is the lifestyle of even the privileged in Remuera? And in particular, where would you be if your husband wasn’t around? It is an interesting question. Cactus Kate in fact comments on this often.
As for the cleaner, the gardener, the plumber, the nanny. Well, both my partner and I work for pretty good incomes, and we have none of those. Again a lazy assumption. And it isn’t clear to me why your current man, or one of your current friends, or your siblings you mentioned earlier, or you yourself, cannot fix things. Hell, my mother always fixed things that needed fixing, as does my partner. Although I’ll admit that as the man in the household I do seem to inherit all spider squashing….
My big problem with this whole post is the self serving “woe is me” attitude in it. No choices, no options, and there but by the grace of god goes you. Except that it’s not by the grace of god. It’s by forethought, planning, hard work, and making sacrifices that I’m not there. And that path is, even today, still open to Tara. Do I mean that she can be in Remuera tomorrow? No. But I do mean that the difference between where she’ll be at the end of this year with some more effort, v’s with some less effort, is quite different. The last kid will be in school one day soon. What then? What skills have you developed, where will you get a job? What contacts have you made, what volunteering have you done, what study have you done? Have you taken on part-time work from home, with a plan to make that more full-time when the time comes? There are things that can be done today, that lay the platform for tomorrow.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Prank by DPF?
Vote:Who is missing here? Maybe DPF gave him a new identity on condition the writing and punctuation look fairly normal?
Let’s face it, Phool has been getting a lot of shit lately.
Then again I could be wrong.
August 10th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
PaulL, I’ll be rash enough to hazard my guess:
A tertiary-educated DP beneficiary past or present with a little journalism experience. Unlikely to be significantly Maori or to have lived in South Auckland.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
SJT,
That was my first thought too; “middle class” in a remuera mansion… yeah, I’d like to get me some of that.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Tara – Why do you dwell so much on what other people think? It doesn’t seem to be doing you much good, except making you more bitter.
Oh, and middle class people don’t exactly lead a life of luxury like your post implies. They are struggling too. They are worried about getting laid off and if they’re going to be able to keep those payments up.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Shitting dogs! I don’t think I have ever heard so much inane crap as there is on this thread. “Maori women don’t do this” and “Maori women don’t do that” and on and on.
Well look and listen folks. I was brought up amongst Maori women and I can tell you they are no bloody different from Pakeha women except for the fact that they probably outperform most of them in the sack.
I can point you to any number of pakeha women who are in exactly the position described by Tara. They made a mistake and married a bloke for the size of his prick instead of his brain. They simply can’t get out because they lack either the iron will necessary or the support from those around them.
The point Tara makes escapes most of you because you lack the intelligence and imagination to look beyond the words themselves and see the story behind them. You really do not have the faintest idea what it is like to be where she is, nor how truly difficult it is to get out. Especially when the ‘system’ makes it so easy to get lots of money by bullshitting a bit to the WINZ people.
I’ll betcha Cactus Kate could show you plenty of white bitches who only stick around with their scabby husbands because they bring home heaps of dollars.
I really couldn’t care less whether Tara te Heke is a real person or not. However, I think that she will turn out to be real. You see, most of the Bros, in my experience, are a fucking site more intelligent than you think.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
it’s not bryan spondre..?..is it..?
(in another of his troll-names/i.d.’s..?..)
y’know..!..the sustained use of cliches/stereoptypes..?
(‘beer and pizza on the lawn’..really..!..)
the laboured writing..?
is that you..?..bryan..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
TARA – Philu, I have had plenty of people commenting to me that you are a figment of your own imagination. Would you like to be Bill Gates today as described in a comment above?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
“You really do not have the faintest idea what it is like to be where she is, nor how truly difficult it is to get out.
Adolf – Just stfu oh great Maori defender. Just because posters don’t make comments you agree with and don’t have the sympathy you want us to have, doesn’t mean we were all born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Just because some posters here call themselves capitalists and want to take an axe to welfare doesn’t mean they’ve never had a family member or grown up with a member on it.
My father died younger than I can remember and was raised by a solo mum too. Yeah, there’s a lot of struggling involved, but my mother managed to buy herself a home and make her own business with money she saved doing the same shit job everyday.
They can keep telling themselves how hard and difficult their position is, they can make stupid comparisons and vent all they want, but it’s not going to do them any favours.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Oh boo hoo Tara. This is all too similar to your post the other day; feeling sorry for yourself while looking at how easy the ‘rich white man has it.’ You focus too much on whether people are white or Maori, or whether they’re rich or poor. Why not focus on whether people are good or bad instead? People’s income and race means absolutely nothing.
I admit that I feel sorry for you in the situation you’re in, but there is no point dwelling on it for the rest of your life. Pick yourself up and live your life the best you can.
You’re in the position you’re in right now because of decisions that you made throughout your life. You left school early, you married the wrong guy, you got pregnant etc. Perhaps you didn’t realise they were the wrong decisions to make at the time, but you’re still the one who made them. However unfair you may find it, you’re the only one who can get yourself out of it. You need to start taking responsibility for the situation you’re in.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
The more I read the visitors, the more I miss DPF
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
“is that you..?..bryan..?”
nah – he knows how many kids you have
http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2009/08/why_cant_you_be_like_paula_bennett_-_guest_post_by_tara_te_heke.html#comment-594550
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
We’ve put a man on the moon, yet we’re still incapable of figuring out how this whole “pregnancy” mystery occurs.
Oh, wait…
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
A poorly written piece of prose comparing generalisations about one class of people with generalisations about another. The outcome being, all Maori people beat their wives and white people all go to Kings.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Is this really what beneficiaries think? What planet is this writer on? She’s been watching way too many movies and seems to have totally lost any sense of reality.
And I worked while bringing up kids without a single relative within 300 miles.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
she should have replaced the elastic in her underwear Rex
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Adolf: “You see, most of the Bros, in my experience, are a fucking site more intelligent than you think.”
Which is why they wouldn’t have written this.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
FFS is it just possible that Tara is not commenting on unfairness, is not feeling sorry for herself but is perhaps pointing out the reality of her personal situation and in this post the similarities between two divergent stereotypes.
David has I grant a unique sense of humour but I think Tara sounds very real, maybe Tara and David are challenging us to quote Phil Collins to “think twice… ” or in the case of some of the drivel I have read just to think.
Somebody very clever once said “to understand all is to forgive all” ( sorry I can’t remember who ), but my point is Tara very clearly understands us and by virtue of her being here has found it in her, to forgive us. She is not asking for our forgivement she is asking us to understand her.
Is there one amongst us who 20 years ago wouldn’t have liked to have met themselves today ? If that was possible and we had I would bet every one of us would be a different person today to the person we are
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Why the hell would you aspire to be like someone from Remuera. I been through the joint, you ain’t missing anything. Their 4 wheel drives would fall apart should they used for there true purpose. They seem to drink a lot coffee while sitting around all day yapping. Their bloody dogs wear poofy little coats and they would suffer a coronary should they be attacked by anything larger then a field mouse. No you can do better.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT.
The real reason for New Zealand heading to the lower ranks of world society is there for all to see.
Lady your pathetic!!!!!!!!
HARDEN UP ,WHAT A JOKE.
T
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT.
The real reason for New Zealand heading to the lower ranks of world society is there for all to see.
Lady your pathetic!!!!!!!!
HARDEN UP ,WHAT A JOKE.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
OK, so I am coming from a position perceived as privileged by some, middle class by others – I do have a loving and caring husband, our own home, business, etc. The one thing I think really has made me privileged is my attitude. I truly believe I can achieve most things I put my mind to; and where there is a will there is a way. I wish I could lend you some of that attitude. That is an attitude that my parents gave me. Sure, we’ve had hardship – we’ve had to deal with cancer, with depression, with no parents or any relatives within hundreds of kilometres BUT we deal with it. We have built support networks. Again, I know i am speaking from a privileged position.
So, let me talk about some of my good friends. One whose husband walked out on her when she was twelve weeks pregnant, had a special needs three year old and a nine year old going through bullying issues at school. She had to go on the DPB. She had no family to help her, but she did have friends that helped her. She leaned on other solo Mums and couples for support, all kinds of support (emotional, financial, furniture, etc). Fourteen months later she was off the DPB because she found a way to get off it. She found a job, despite having no qualifications and fuck all job history. It was the second time she’d gone through a man leaving her, and the second time she sorted herself out and now supports her family.
The difference between her and you is attitude. She made her own future, she made her family’s future.
I have several of those stories. That’s the upside of living in the ‘burbs. You get to meet the real people. The ones that struggle to make a life be it as a temporary beneficiary, in a fledgling business, or whatever. And, you know what, those with the attitude to succeed will make it because they focus on the positive, and they don’t play comparison politics. We all have shit, it’s how we deal with it.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I’d be interested to know (if you Tara te Heke are legitimate); How much, if any, of your life has been in a state house and what percentage of the people around you, neighbours etc, are also beneficiaries?
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Forgive us for what? What shite. I never smacked her around or abused her. I shouldn’t have to pay for her mistakes while struggling myself.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
And what’s with all the Remuera bashing? I live in Remuera and I’ve yet to see a ratdog in a coat. Mind you I’ve seen plenty of those ugly Porsche 4x4s.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
You guys (& gals) have missed the point completely… Tara is talking about that she isn’t as good looking as a typical middle class white woman who can find a reasonable middle class man and marry him. It has nothing to do with self made independent women. Now that’s a completely different story…
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
lol I didn’t know that Porsche made 4X4s. I guess that tells you how out of touch (or out of Auckland) I must be.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
this is obvious
Vote:hatred baiting; call the dogs
and the dogs they come
August 10th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Im beginning to subscribe to Alan and bruv’s theory- surely DPF is taking the piss
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
lol im sure this is a piss take. sad thing is, people like this exist.
as my asshole brother always says “the harder i work, the luckier i get”
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Haha just made a comment as if she was real. Think ill edit it out
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
i live in remuera..
much the same way english lives in dipton..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Seriously Jadis? They’re all over the country… Porsche Cayenne
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
somehow I dont think her envy is directed at you phool (just a guess)
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
“Tara is talking about that she isn’t as good looking as a typical middle class white woman who can find a reasonable middle class man and marry him.”
Hmm.
Good looking comes down to being a normal size (i.e. not fat), eating well, washing yourself, and wearing nice clothes. The rest is personality.
Gorgeous is a different story, that is genetic.
Vote:August 10th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
the law, in all its
Vote:majesty, says the rich can’t
sleep under bridges
August 10th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Gorgeous is a different story, that is genetic.
Or having access to a good plastic surgeon, Paul. Wonder if WINZ will cough up for that?
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 12:35 am
I like your writing Tara. You make some good points.
I hope your experience on Kiwiblog has been more good than bad.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Brian of the very small(er) brain, learn how to read and then just understand what has been said, then understand you are a total wanker and I encourage you to enjoy new recreational persuits such as ballrush on the harbour bridge
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 2:08 am
Tara te Heke – I suspect that you are not legitimate, however if you are, I sincerely hope Paula Bennet removes your benefit tomorrow. What is with this shit, playing the victim? You made the choices that has put you in the predicament that you are in, from what you have stated there are very few mitigating factors to the position you now find yourself in.
Quite clearly you are a loser, and why you are a loser is just as clear, your ATTITUDE! Pull your socks up, comb your hair, take some pride in yourself and your FAMILY, instead of all this woe is me shit.
Envy and resentment, which your post reeks of, will get you absolutely nowhere, however, aspiriation and pride will take you further than you can dream of.
Give it a go lady, I challenge you!
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Furthermore, whilst you’re probably well tucked up in bed, here’s me having my first chance to look at something that is not work related all day – after 10pm (in China). Gee whizz, I wish my job was as easy as yours!
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 4:50 am
“I suspect that you are not legitimate, however if you are…”
Hook, line and sinker.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 6:48 am
lol que¿
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 8:49 am
That aint a 4×4!. This is a 4×4:
http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/2/3299/4341/20747170002_large.jpg
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Just quietly H Stewart… it’s bullrush, not ballrush that one plays with opposing people (or traffic). Usually a good idea to get those little details straight in posts where you’re accusing someone else of being stuipd. If you’re referring to the online game ballrush then I’d suggest you’re a kid who should get out more.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Also its Pursuits. Not persuits.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Alan Wilkinson (533): August 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Tara: “We are not so different.”
I agree. I suspect you are a middle class liberal writer posing as a fictional South Auckland DP beneficiary.
TARA – I’ve suspected for the past 2 days you are a South Auckland DP beneficiary posing as Alan Wilkinson.
That’s about as silly as everything else you’ve said, Tara. I have no need to pose as anything. I have a daughter and grandson living in South Auckland and we spend a couple of days there every month. None of us are beneficiaries. We all work hard and look after each other. The majority of other South Aucklanders do too.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Real or not, and I suspect real, I think David is to be congratulated for having Tara as a blogger.
Vote:We might not like or agree with what she says, but her alternate view is making us think and stirring a reaction.
August 11th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Well written.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Well, other people have pointed out that it is stupid to accuse someone of being stupid while getting the name of a simple game like bullrush wrong. And as far as playing it on the Harbour Bridge – I would if I could afford to go to Auckland but too much of my income is taxed away to support the Tara’s of this world after they continually make bad decisions.
Tara’s life reminds me of an All Black game plan – never changes to meet the circumstances. OK – he hits me so I give him a kid to stop it. He hits me again. I know, I will give him another kid to stop it. Oh, he hit me. I know, i will give him another kid to stop it. Didn’t she ever hear of the pill. They give it away free you know.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 10:36 am
DAVID , pls come back, all is forgiven, I promise to read and analyse ALL the statistics and other verbiage you post …
Vote:without complaint…
but no more of this CRAP, it is so obviously a SET UP and you will be laughing fit to bust over all your regulars getting into such a hissy fit over nothing !
August 11th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Jadis – one of the better ads for the Porsche Cayenne http://tinyurl.com/muxcwt lol
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am
>>>labrator (483) Vote: 5 0 Says:
August 10th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Seriously Jadis? They’re all over the country… Porsche Cayenne <<<
That just goes to show how similar they all are, apart from the little maker's badges, unlike my Escudo which is just like the million of other Escudos and the NZ version whose name esca[es me at the moment … a senior moment
Perhaps Tara is just a dumb maori/whitie broad, regurgitating stero's, had me fooled for awhile, and got my sympathy. But one thing she/he has kept the site going while David enjoys his cruise .. and how! Good one David
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Thought about it since this was posted and decided I will comment on it, even though the thread is (deservedly) dead.
True or not, it is IMHO a steaming pile of sanctimonious crap. Penned by someone who deems herself pious enough to make ridiculous generalisations and play on a small sample of stereotypes.
Two words: personal responsibility.
Two more: pride, determination.
Two words you do know: victim, pity.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
There are a lot of racist comments on this thread. It is not Tara’s fault that she is a victim of colonial oppression. Her families lands were stolen from her. Her ancestors were not allowed to speak Maori at school and if they did they got the strap.She was picked on by the teachers because her skin was brown.Before the Pakeha came Maori lived together with their family in peace surrounded by aroha and their Taonga. There was no family violence.They did not spack their children by way of correction.Pakeha broke the treaty and stole their lands and oppressed them. So back off all you white racists and feel sorry for Tara.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
“They did not spack their children by way of correction.”
And look how they behaved when they grew up – They killed their enemies, then cooked and ate them and decorated their pa with shruken heads!
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
backster – good one
Just to note – I wasn’t allowed to speak Italian at school either. Maori not being able to speak Maori at school didn’t stop their family talking it at home for the other 18 hours a day. Give me a better excuse please.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
“My friends and I discuss how lucky John Key is that he couldn’t get pregnant while living in a State House.”
Don’t condoms work inside state houses?
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
That would be the free ones that women can get from Family Planning and other sources.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I note that the feminazi witches at the handmirror have commented on this post by our fake contributor, they even suggest that DPF needs to clamp down on what they class as “unacceptable comments”
It seems that these feminist witches just cannot handle free speech at all, indeed, it seems that every left wing site will delete anything that does not agree with their fucked up view of the world.
And they wonder why they were tossed our of power….
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Only as often as they work elsewhere- which is to say, 99% of the time, if you’ve been given the confidence, information, and means to get them.
I should also point out that as the condom is the only directly male-controlled means of birth control, I wouldn’t be handing responsibility for them over to women quite so quickly if I were you. Sexual agency is something men desperately need to hang on to.
There’s a difference between free speech and insulting and intimidating people with groupthink. Free speech is about being able to make political comments without fear. It’s not about being able to bash whoever you like in a game of ad-hominem.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Errr, of course, 99% is the figure if a condom is applied correctly. Sadly the concentration of people unable to apply a condom properly is likely to be much higher among people having sex in state houses.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Ari – be careful – you might be engaging in group think there. Failing the condoms there is also a range of oral contraceptives available free to women, which given the amount of money spent on education and the pamphlets available at every chemist and doctor and written in many different languages, means that there should be virtually no reason for a woman to get kncoked up. In Tara’s case she wanted each and every kid – they were attempts to get her partner to stop hitting her. At least that is what I took from her post.
These headline posts were meant to provoke – why people are surprised there is a backlash is beyond me. Responsible people HATE hearing irresponsible ones whinging about their predicament and seeking “recognition”, “understanding” or “empahy”. How hard is that to grasp.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Ari
“Free speech is about being able to make political comments without fear.”
Like the Brethren were able to do? Talk about witch hunting.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
>>>backster (209) Vote: 3 6 Says:August 11th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Vote:Maori lived together with their family in peace surrounded by aroha and their Taonga. So back off all you white racists and feel sorry for Tara.<<<
Pull the other leg backster, or else read some historical accounts of pre-Pak life. Hardly peaceful with tribes killing each off and making the defeated women slaves. It didn't start when Pakeha sold them muskets … that just made it less a male macho sport and a real killing field … at least that is as how I have read it. I do support your final comment, though that is what this forum is all about [formenting happy mischief]… a venue for them to vent their spleen without causeing too much trouble somewhat like the feminist and leftwing blogs. A safety value that most of us seem to need, so long as one doesn't take it too seriously.
August 11th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
A large number of men are plainly just Arseholes. The low lifes of society.
Vote:That is not rocket science. It is an easily and readily learned fact.
Then, why in the name of Christ, do we spend so much time reading about dumb women who spread their legs for those low lifes then get treated as any low life can be expected to treat a female.
In my youth I saw women queuing up, to get a vagina full of cock from the low lifes. And now when I read about their complaints I become nauseous.
August 11th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
tauhei
That’s gold mate!!!
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Same issue- if you’re discouraged from using birth control by your family, don’t know where to get it, don’t have the self-confidence, etc… then it’s entirely possible you’ll not be prepared by the time you become sexually active.
The issue with our education around contraception is that it’s primarily aimed at the people who’re already recieving the message, not the ones who really need it.
And yeah, I’m sure you’re right about Tara. I was merely replying to a comment directly.
The Brethren could have come out directly whenever they wanted without any more fear of demonisation than any other New Zealander, and I’m sure they would’ve gotten just as fair a hearing as any of the MMP parties get. The problem was they choose to run a paralell campaign with explicit authorisation from the then-National Party leader, with no accountability or transparency. I don’t think Kiwis don’t mind people having their say in an election campaign, but they want big campaigns to be honest about where they come from, who they are, and where they got any money they spent, and they want a reliable way to get in touch with people running campaigns. I don’t think that’s unfair, and I don’t think any of those conditions challenges free speech.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Ari – Tara says she was 19 when she met her husband at a freezing works. Having worked in one once I can tell you there were no shy retiring types that I ever saw.
Vote:August 11th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Anything written under the name Tara te Heke now gets the same treatment as anything written by PhilU.
Next please.
Vote:August 12th, 2009 at 9:38 am
It’s true. We are all the same, we all live in a great country, we all have hopes and dreams.
I’m just not sure I get the point. It’s a little like saying water is wet – anyone who looks for themselves can see.
Vote:But then again, this looks like it’s aimed at a specific kind of woman, the kind who are not likely to read here.
August 12th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
It is not Tara’s fault that she is a victim of colonial oppression.
Oh, so the guy who gave her the bash was a Pom then?
Vote:August 12th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I am sick to friggin death of this male bashing sh!t.
Vote: