How the Aussies saw us
An amusing AAP story on what NZ stories got reported in Australia:
- William Stewart avoiding the police for 100 days
- Westpac accidentally giving a customer a $10 million overdraft, which was utilised to flee overseas
- A man vying for the title of New Zealand’s most incompetent criminal left his name and contact details with a shop before robbing it and fleeing
- Kiwi primary schoolteacher Rachel Whitwell posing nude for Australian Penthouse
- Policeman Guy Baldwin captured on camera interviewing a late-night carjacker who was trying to claim he was merely off to buy a meat pie at the local service station. Baldwin’s witty reply was: “That pie has probably been in the warming drawer for about 12 hours. It will be thermo-nuclear – always blow on the pie.
- A beloved family cat had an extra chilly brush with death after his owners accidentally shut him in the freezer for 19 hours
- Sweet maker Hanna Frederick developed venison chocolate truffles
- A Kiwi canine was in the dog box after driving his owner’s ute into the front of a cafe
- New Zealand’s most superstitious town has gone all out to be rid of bad luck by banishing the number 13. Palmerston North has a council policy to jump street numbers from number 11 to 15 to avoid the unlucky figure in between.
- An Auckland man who killed his dog and barbecued it for tea expressed genuine shock when local authorities baulked at his actions
- The Kiwi recession was responsible for many an oddity in 2009. For one, Kiwi men were more likely than ever to get “the snip” on their most intimate assets as a reaction to the financial squeeze
- A curious baby seal shuffled more than 100km across New Zealand farmland after an overexcited fishing expedition.
- Tourists at a Kiwi aquarium got an eyeful when they saw a heavily-pregnant female shark get a Caesarean section from an aggressive male shark in the tank
- A would-be Kiwi politician was creamed with an iconic Australasian treat, the lamington, while trying to convince the public to vote for him. John Boscawen was hit in the head with the square chocolate and cream coconut sponge and then further shocked the audience by continuing his speech, unfazed
- A toddler gave her parents a nasty shock when they found she had bought a NZ$20,000 earth-moving digger on New Zealand auction website TradeMe
No wonder they think we are strange.
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Tags: Media
January 1st, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Hell next year the lead stupidity from good old Aotearoa will be:
“Miracle on the Shakey Isles! Sheepshaggers turn Ugly Demented Hag into Beautiful Dame”.
January 1st, 2010 at 1:02 pm
You Kiwis sure are strange. I have a feeling that the Gene pool was seriously depleted during the Helen Clark period. Question is now whether you can recover.
One thing I’ve noticed on this trip is that it seems to be obligatory for NZers to get tattooed as soon as they turn 18. I’m seeing the most ridiculous tattoos/trampstamps/bum antlers on Mums, Dads and Grandparents. The Dom Post this morning said it was one of the biggest trends of the last decade.
http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/tag/tattoos/
My suggestion is to take shares out in a NZ tattoo removal business. You’ll clean up in a few years when the collective realise how stupid they look
January 1st, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Aussies take a pretty jaundiced view of NZ, and seek out the wierd and silly stories to confirm their prejudices. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves – a kind of self-esteem issue writ large.
But considering that there are plenty of Kiwis there now, I wonder why our “5th column” over there is not doing something about it already. E.g. when he was head of Fairfax, why didn’t David Kirk advocate for a regular NZ news section in the papers over there? I.e. regular news, good news, examples of NZ successes, etc, rather than the dross that gets reported in their papers usually.
January 1st, 2010 at 1:14 pm
“I’m seeing the most ridiculous tattoos/trampstamps/bum antlers on Mums, Dads and Grandparents. ”
God so it’s true about you Aussies then you will rip the clothes off of and shag anything no matter age nor sex.
You should be bloody well ashamed of yourself young man!
January 1st, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Maybe because of the amount of dross promoted here Crusader? The current top 5 “Editor’s Picks” on stuff are:
Swearing mars New Year’s event
Mystery visitor jets in to Nelson
Trapped dog doing well after rescue
Tiger Woods loses another sponsor
Mike Tyson avoids charges in airport fracas
January 1st, 2010 at 5:01 pm
“You should be bloody well ashamed of yourself young man!”
Just took the kids to the public playground in Palmerston North. God – my eyes! My Beautiful eyes!!! I keep scrubbing but the memory of what I was forced to see won’t go away!!!
January 1st, 2010 at 5:09 pm
“when he was head of Fairfax, why didn’t David Kirk …”
He was too busy screwing up the place to notice anything… (Not in the Tiger Woods mould of screwing up, but screwing up nonetheless)
January 1st, 2010 at 7:02 pm
TimG_Oz (299) Says:
January 1st, 2010 at 1:02 pm
‘One thing I’ve noticed on this trip is that it seems to be obligatory for NZers to get tattooed as soon as they turn 18′.
I agree Tim, we are a heavily tattoed nation – however I am currently in Australia and I would hazard an estimation that 1 out of 3 young adults/adults have a tattoo. Maybe I am noticing it more though as your lovely ladies seem to be more liberal with their bodies and your country actually has a summer!
January 1st, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Bloody hell, the Aussies get off on this mindless dribble, what with the heat, the flies, the fires, the floods, the shit wine, the crap fish and an huge inferiority complex, re the US, who can blame them. NZ is the gift that adds joy to their pitiful lives and uplifts their spirits, see look the Kiwis are everything we believe they are. I’m sure the stories coming out of Aussie would have no trouble in filling the yellow pages from a city the size of Auckland.
January 2nd, 2010 at 8:44 am
No stereotypes here then. By which I mean the Australian media coming up with a list like this. But I’m pleased that the fact-checkers got some of it right (obviously they cope better when they have up to a year to cogitate), but at least one of these stories is simply untrue…
The true strategic competitive advantages of Australia:
1. FOUNDATION STRATEGY: Dig big holes and sell the contents to China
2. Have high taxes and distribute the proceeds to the population through collective labour law, and subsidise an ecologically and economically disastrous agricultural sector
3. Mandatory Super that actually means a high proportion of this surplus is saved, with the extra bonus of allowing baby-boomers to structure their income to be taxed at 15%
4. Have a Capital Gains Tax to encourage savings in assets other than residential property
5. Bounce around the USA like a 10 year old saying “me too me too” enabling an FTA that ensures pharmaceuticals cost twice what they do in NZ
6. Export prurient journalism to the world!
Definitely some things we could learn from them… especially once we start digging up our national parks to get at all that lovely coal.
It’s a bit like my parents – I get on much better with them at a distance
January 2nd, 2010 at 9:20 pm
side show bob in particular, slarty also, a couple of nice little rants there. It would seem the New Zealand inferiority complex is very much alive and well.