Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Civilian Party makes it

August 13th, 2014 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

NewstalkZB reports:

Good news for fake news, with a satirical political party successfully registering just in time for the election.

The Electoral Commission has announced the Civilian Party has got enough members on board to contest the election.

The party was born out of parody news website The Civilian, and promises free ice cream for everyone, and making the rest of New Zealand independent from Hamilton.

I’m glad they made it. Of all the joke parties standing for Parliament, they’re the only funny one!

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House of Clerks

August 11th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

An excellent parody of House of Cards by the Auckland Law Revue. Sean Topham makes a very convincing Frank Underwood. If I was Maggie Barry, I’d be very worried when Sean decides he wants to be MP for the North Shore :-)

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MEANWHILE ON THE EPSOM SUPER HIGHWAY

August 7th, 2014 at 9:00 am by Kokila Patel

By Squeaky Lino (In the Halls of Power)

Rankin

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Can’t blame Grant

August 4th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

Robertson sleeping again

To be fair to Grant, it is pretty difficult to stay awake when David Parker is speaking!

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Pretty good

August 4th, 2014 at 3:00 pm by David Farrar

Planet Key from Propeller Motion on Vimeo.

Pretty well done parody video and song of John Key.

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Meanwhile in Christchurch, somewhere in Gerry Brownlee’s electorate…

August 2nd, 2014 at 9:00 am by Kokila Patel

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Courtesy of John Stringer

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Lorde parody

July 20th, 2014 at 3:00 pm by David Farrar

Not a bad parody of Lorde by “Weird AL” Yankovic. The tinfoil hats seems politically relevant at the moment!

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Caption Contest

July 18th, 2014 at 11:30 am by David Farrar

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Photo from Stuff ‘s Kevin Stent.

Enter your captions below. As always make them funny not nasty,

Also enjoy these photos sent in by a reader.

mallard dog

 

Top photo in the montage is (c) Felix Marwick. The other photo is (c) Lloyd Burr.

 

 

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Squeaky Lino

July 14th, 2014 at 10:00 am by Kokila Patel

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Caption Contest

July 8th, 2014 at 2:21 pm by David Farrar

The Three Amigos

 

Don’t they look happy! Captions below – as always funny, not nasty, please.

 

 

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Trans-Tasman has the draft manifestos

June 30th, 2014 at 11:00 am by David Farrar

Trans-Tasman has been leaked copies of the draft 2014 manifestos.

TransTasman has obtained draft manifestos of most of the country’s political parties for Election 2014

National’s is all glossy photos o f John Key, with his most common comment at media briefings, “I wouldn’t want to go into details” emblazoned in Royal Blue.

Labour’s is much larger: “All Our Yesterdays” is a reproduction of Norman Kirk’s much thumbed “little red book” and an even more frequently thumbed copy of Nicky Hager’s “The Hollow Men,” with an inspirational photo of David Cunliffe wearing a miner’s helmet and a sugarbag, gazing into the future and holding a glass of pinot noir.

The Greens have some very serious stuff about eradicating child poverty for Maui dolphins and an intergalactic committee of experts for the eradication of climate change. The Greens have decided the way to stop people thinking they are wacky is to be very boring. They may have over corrected a bit.

We haven’t got anything yet on Peter Dunne, but early intelligence suggests a sort of reverse version of the Greens’ strategy.

Hailing a return to the days of Dick Seddon, NZ First leader Winston Peters is to announce a poll tax for Chinese immigrants.

ACT’s is Jamie Whyte’s written sequel to John Locke’s ‘Two Treatises on Government.’ In keeping with ACT’s philosophy, it is called Half a Treatise on Government.

Not a lot from the Mana-Internet Party yet: policy work thus far consists of a hurried email suggesting grabbing Kim Dotcom’s copy of Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf; getting hold of Karl Marx’s Das Kapital, and “stick the best bits together.”

Heh, not bad,

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Two new magazine covers

June 28th, 2014 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

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kimdc1

 

Circulating by e-mail.

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Caption Contest

June 27th, 2014 at 11:00 am by David Farrar

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Photo by Scott Hammond/Fairfax.

Enter your captions below. As always they should be funny, not nasty.

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labour08.co.nz

June 26th, 2014 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

Stuff reports:

From John Key’s Facebook page to the Official Monster Raving Loony Party and a video of a laser-chasing kitty cat – the man behind Sue Moroney’s billboard prank is offering a moving feast of political larrikinism.

This has been hilarious – the latest redirect is to The Civilian,

Last week, Moroney erected an election sign in the Hamilton West electorate with an expired domain name obscured under masking tape.

The masking tape was removed, revealing an obsolete campaign web address from 2008. Someone notified West Auckland IT guy Frank Collingwood, who registered it and began his shenanigans.

“It’s their own fault for putting up a billboard with an expired domain name, which can be registered by anyone,” Collingwood said in an email.

Collingwood was last in Hamilton more than a decade ago and was not affiliated with any political party in New Zealand, but said the claim the prime minister was behind it was “quite frankly, ridiculous”.

Moroney was silly enough to use some old hoardings, and she is blaming the PM for this guy having a sense of humour.

He said the link to Key’s Facebook page was “one in a long list of possible redirections” which had gone from the moggy videos to McGillicuddy Serious Party archives posted on Youtube.

The Monster Raving Loony Party was established in England in 1983 by musician David Sutch, better known as Screaming Lord Sutch, who Collingwood said was an “absolute legend” and “superb role model” for politicians.

“I really don’t even want any publicity, just seemed a good prank at a time when pollies across the spectrum are taking themselves far too seriously,” he said.

I wonder how many other Labour hoardings have the old URL on them, plastered over? One good reasons to not have a different site for every election.

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Fairfax quotes its own satire as fact

June 26th, 2014 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

Stuff-on-Cunliffe-on-Liu-via-Braunias

Heh, somehow Fairfax used an extract from a Steve Braunias satire column as a caption for a story on David Cunliffe.

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Rik Mayall arguing against AV

June 26th, 2014 at 7:00 am by David Farrar

Rik Mayall as Alan B’stard lauds the virtues of the Alternate Voting system, for the No to AV campaign a couple of years ago. This follows on from his characters’comment that the beauty of proportional voting is that even if they don’t vote for you, you’ll probably still get in.

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Dogs prefer work over welfare also!

June 24th, 2014 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

The Daily Mail reports:

In humans the ‘eureka moment’ is a commonly known feeling that occurs when we solve a particularly troubling problem.

But new research suggests that we’re not the only animals to experience this – dogs, too, gain pleasure from solving a tricky task.

In a series of experiments, scientists found dogs were happier when they earned a reward by performing a task, rather than just being handed a treat.

Those dogs won’t be Labour voters then! :-)

The experimental dogs were only given access to the treat on the ramp when they successfully manipulated the three pieces of equipment they had been trained to use.

The control dogs, meanwhile, were given access to the reward when the puzzles were solved by their partner in the other arena, irrespective of how they used the equipment.

The dogs in the pairs were then tasked with performing the same run several times, and also played both roles of experimental and control dog.

The researchers found the experimental dogs were much more excited to actually get in the arena and solve the pieces of equipment.

On repeated runs they showed visible excitement, such as wagging their tails vigorously, at being led to the entrance to solve the problems again.

The control dogs, on the other hand, were more reluctant to go in and pick up their treat without having to solve any of the ‘puzzles’.

This, according to the researchers, shows that dogs enjoy problem-solving just like humans do.

Good doggy.

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The secret diary of David Cunliffe

June 22nd, 2014 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

Steve Braunias in fine form:

MONDAY

I want to make it perfectly clear that I have never had any dealings with Donghua Liu.

I wouldn’t know him if I fell over him. If I did fall over him, I’d help him to his feet, and say to him, “How do you do? I’m David Cunliffe, the leader of the New Zealand Labour Party. You look familiar. Are you Chinese?” …

TUESDAY

I want to make it perfectly clear that my dealings with Donghua Liu were a long time ago. It was before email. It was before the fax machine. Remember the fax machine? The paper always ran out, and it made that horrible shrieking noise whenever you dialled a number. I’m passionate about noise pollution and I’ll go on record now and say that a Labour Government won’t tolerate a return to the fax machine.

The letter I wrote to immigration officials on Mr Liu’s behalf in 2003 has nothing in common with the letter Maurice Williamson wrote to police on Mr Liu’s behalf. Maurice Williamson was interfering. I was merely putting in a good word for a guy who always had a friendly, open smile.

He’d wave out whenever I saw him, and I’d say, “How’s it, Mr Liu?” And he’d say, “Mate, call me Dong.”

The Dong I knew had an insatiable appetite for New Zealand literature. He wanted Helen Clark’s biography so badly that he paid $15,000 for it.

So on the mark.

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Steve Braunias’ World Cup Diary

June 20th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

Metro is running a compilation of thoughts on the Football World Cup. Day 7 includes me:

I’m backing Germany to win the World Cup. It’s only fair as they get so grumpy having to work hard, paying tax, to fund the lazy Greeks and Spanish, so winning the World Cup would cheer them up a lot.

Of course a cheerful German is still much more grumpy than a pissed-off Kiwi, but just like poverty, it’s all relative.

I’m hoping Sami Khedira will score the winning goal for Germany in the final, as it will lead to celebrations throughout the Muslim world, and stop the civil war in Iraq.

Also it would means lots of close-ups of Lena Gercke, who is one of the smarter wags.

Also Martyn Bradbury:

Who d’you think will win the World Cup?

My brain says Brazil, my heart screams Tyrion Lannister.

Seen any heroes or villains so far?

Why are the commentary team on TVNZ so obvious and dull in their commentary?

Is football a socialist paradigm, a worker’s collective, or a capitalist model, which rewards individual excellence?

It’s an opiate for the masses that distracts them from solidarity against hegemonic power structures ruled over by a corrupt sports bureaucracy who make drug cartels look civic-minded.

For once I agree with Martyn.

And the Ruminator:

Who d’you think will win the World Cup?

Germany is looking pretty good.

Have you seen any heroes or villains ?

Wayne Rooney is an ugly bloke, isn’t he.

Is football a socialist paradigm, a worker’s collective, or a capitalist model, which rewards individual excellence?

Football is the perfect capitalist model. In theory, every team could win it, couldn’t they? Oh my god! Costa Rica beat Uruguay! Goodness! Costa Rica could go all the way!

That’s football giving false hope to the proletariat. Give them a slice of glory and watch them gobble it up and be satisfied.

But then by the end of the tournament, the elites (Brazil, Germany, France, Italy, Argentina) will rise to the top and take it away. Because screw the poor. Screw them. It’s as if Milton Friedman designed the tournament.

It would be far better if Milton had designed it.

And Whale:

Is there a World Cup on? Football? I’m too busy playing a combination of House of Cards and Game of Thrones in the truly best game there is on this planet…politics.

Politics is a fun blood sport!

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The Game of Thrones cycle

June 15th, 2014 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

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So true.

From Buzzfeed.

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Joyce rated more valuable than Cunliffe

June 9th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

The Wellington Chamber of Commerce has two events on the 18th of June.

They have a breakfast with David Cunliffe for $45.

Then a lunch with Steven Joyce for $55.

Now they price these events based on what they think people will pay (Hence why lunch with PM with Trans-Tasman Council was $500 or so, and $85 at the Chamber).

This shows that Steven Joyce is rated more valuable than David Cunliffe!

 

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John Oliver on Net Neutrality

June 8th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

If you’ve ever wondered what the fuss about Net Neutrality is about, then you can get both informed and very amused by this piece from John Oliver on it.

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New Ziland Labours Weekly

June 4th, 2014 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

womanweek

 

Sent in by a reader.

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The new blockbuster

June 3rd, 2014 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

dr no

 

Given to me by a former Maori Party staffer. Not bad.

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Caption Contest

June 2nd, 2014 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

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From Gareth Hughes on Facebook.

Captions below. As always, funny not nasty.

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