Archive for the ‘Fun Things’ Category

Grant on truck brakes

October 29th, 2013 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

This audio is hilarious as a truck driver is called about using his engine brakes in town too much. Listen to the end for a twist. The audio is now after the break as it may have been interfering with other links.


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Leading the world in …

October 24th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar


You can click on the image for a larger copy. From here.

The list of top ranks for each country range from the amusing to the fascinating.


The rules of Horse

October 21st, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Horse is New Zealand’s iconic road trip game, made popular by Neil Miller esquire. From time to time there have been queries as to the rules, so I am happy to present the official rules of Horse. The three rules are:

  1. If you see a horse you point at it and yell out “horse” and you score one point
  2. If you see a picture of a horse, you point at it and yell out “picture of a horse” and you scores ten points
  3. If you see a cemetery, you point at it and yell out “bury all the horses” and everyone else’s scores reset to zero

The rules are quite simple and the person at the end of the trip with the most points wins, but there are a number of areas of interpretation which Mr Miller and I can provide authoritative guidance on.

Does a statue of a horse count as a picture of a horse?

Yes. Any inanimate representation of a horse counts.

Can you claim multiple pictures of horses on the one building or structure?

No. The first person who points to and claims a picture of a horse on a structure nullifies the others. So if a National Bank has four horses on it, only one can be claimed.

Do you lose a point if you claim a horse and it turns out to be a cow?

No. But you do get mocked by everyone else in the vehicle.

Does the Pegasus on Mobil petrol stations count as a horse?

Yes. A Pegasus is simply a winged horse.

What counts as a cemetery?

One or more graves. You must sight an actual grave. You can not claim a cemetery just on the basis of seeing a sign.

What do you score if you are playing horse and an advertisement on the radio has a horse neighing on it?

This was only encountered last week, and as it is so rare we believe a bonus of 20 points is appropriate.

What if you see a horse float with a horse inside it, and a picture of a horse on it?

Yell out “picture of a horse and a horse” and score 11 points.

Can the driver play?

Yes. However it is regarded as a bad thing if he or she wins as they should be concentrating on the road.

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No Calvin and Hobbes film

October 18th, 2013 at 12:41 pm by David Farrar

Stuff reports:

No matter how much you want it, you’re unlikely to see a Calvin and Hobbes film.

Bill Watterson, who created the immensely popular comic strip about a boy and his tiger friend, has said that although he’s impressed with modern animated films from the likes of Pixar, he doesn’t see the need for a big-screen adaptation.

“The visual sophistication of Pixar blows me away, but I have zero interest in animating Calvin and Hobbes. If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served. As a comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes works exactly the way I intended it to. There’s no upside for me in adapting it.” 

This makes me very sad.

I adore Calvin & Hobbes. Watterson is a genius for his ability to portray the world as Calvin sees it.

But he is probably right. The comic books are so perfect, that a movie just couldn’t capture that tension between the real world and Calvin’s world.


The worst burglar ever

October 14th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

This is hilarious. Watch the full three minutes – especially the ending.

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An unfortunate name

October 11th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Stuff reports:

The single defining characteristic of teenage sex in 2013 is porn. Graphic, hardcore sex, free for anyone with a smart phone to watch. It’s so ubiquitous that the average age of first exposure to porn is now just 11 years old, warping kids’ ideas of what normal sex is years before they are likely to try it themselves.

“When you put a smart phone in the hands of a teen or tween, you’re basically giving them access to online porn,” says Liz Walker, the national director of Get a Grip Teenz education program.

That’s an unfortunate name for a group campaigning against porn!

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Wellington Mayoral Entertainment preferences

October 10th, 2013 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

The Dom Post has asked the Mayoral candidates for their favourite movies, books etc.

Out of the six responses for each category, the item I prefer the most is:

  • Film – The Shawshank Redemption (John Morrison)
  • TV – The West Wing (Nicola Young)
  • Music – Elton John (John Morrison)
  • Website – Kiwiblog (Nicola Young) :-)
  • Hobby – Road trips (Jack Yan)
  • Author/Book – Biographies (John Morrison)
  • Game – Five Hundred (Nicola Young)
  • Sport – Kayaking (Celia Wade-Brown) to do, Rugby (Rob Goulden) to watch
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They do have nice buffalo wings

October 9th, 2013 at 9:00 am by David Farrar

The Press reports:

Outgoing Christchurch City Council chief executive Tony Marryatt racked up nearly $9000 on his ratepayer-funded credit card in the last year, including more than $120 on two visits to the bawdy Hooters restaurant in the United States.

Figures released to The Press under the Official Information Act show Marryatt twice visited the restaurant chain in Phoenix, Arizona, famous for its young busty waitresses. He was there on a council managers’ conference a year ago.

Cr Tim Carter, who chairs the council’s audit and risk committee and often signed off credit card reports from senior staff, said he was “struggling to understand how spending money at a Hooters bar was council business”. Mayoral candidate Lianne Dalziel has also called for more transparency on council spending.

To be fair to Marryatt, you do need to eat while at conferences and Hooters do have absolutely delicious buffalo wings.  Best I’ve had in America.

But it is a pretty dumb move to choose Hooters as an eating establishment, when the ratepayers (or taxpayers) are paying the bills. I would never go to Hooters if I wasn’t paying the bill myself.


A cheeseburger pizza

September 25th, 2013 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar



Photo from Stuff.

This is the new cheeseburger pizza from Pizza Hut. Around 50% more calories than a normal pizza! Only available in the UK and Middle East for now.

I reckon it will be like the KFC Double Down. When it gets released everyone will want to buy one to try one, especially as public health zealots will go overboard condemning it. However most people will then discover it doesn’t really taste that good, and only order it once.

I do recall the queues for the Double Down though. They were massive with 20+ cars lined up at drive thrus. I reckon fast food chains hope their latest products will get condemned by the health zealots, just as movie producers hope a film will be condemned by religious groups – a surefire way to get free publicity and noost sales.


The Social and Legal Arguments for Allowing Women to Go Topless in Public

September 25th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

The Atlantic reports:

In early August, 33-year-old Phoenix Feeley began a 16-day jail sentence in New Jersey for refusing to pay fines from 2008 when she was arrested for sunbathing topless at a Spring Lake beach. She spent nine days on a hunger strike before being released early from Monmouth County Jail on August 14. 

Feeley is part of Go Topless, an organization that advocates for women’s right to go topless on the basis of gender equality. The group says its objective is not to push for a world where everyone goes sans shirt, but rather to push back against what they see as an infringement of women’s constitutional right not to be discriminated against on the basis of gender. The question is: Why should women be barred from going topless where men are not? It’s a question that quickly takes its debaters from an analysis of legality to the subtleties of how men and women are treated by the law and society.

The incident in New Jersey wasn’t Feeley’s first legal squabble over the issue of public toplessness. In 2005, the activist successfully sued the NYPD after being arrested for walking shirtless down a New York City street, where it is officially legal for women to do so. She was awarded a settlement of $29,000, in addition to bringing attention to the often vague or inconsistently enforced toplessness laws in the US.

As I understand it, NZ laws are non-specific as to what has to be worn in public. We’ve had topless women in parades, and I think the naked jogger even escaped conviction.

The idea that female toplessness is somehow different from male toplessness is clearly deeply embedded in our collective social psyche.

This argument, in fact, came up in a landmark case in 1986, when nine women were arrested in Rochester, New York, for being topless in an isolated park, at a time when the state had a law forbidding female toplessness.

Judge Herman Walz, one of the first to hear the case, which took six years before being settled finally by the New York State Court of Appeals, wrote in his decision that “the statute’s objective is to protect the public from invasions of its sensibilities, and merely reflects current community standards as to what constitutes nudity. The objective itself is not based on stereotyped notions, therefore it is not illegitimate.” He also wrote that “community standards do not deem the exposure of males’ breasts offensive, therefore the state does not have an interest in preventing exposure of the males’ breasts.”

I don’t really consider any nudity offensive (except my own!) but fair to say you tend to be more surprised if a woman is topless than a guy.

One of the curiosities of the debate, then, is that both sides argue that they are combatting objectification. Those opposed to public female toplessness say it is the exposure of breasts that will sexualize the women baring them. The question, finally, has much to do with how you think laws should relate to society: Is it more advisable to use laws to protect women (and the public) in a society that already views their bodies as sexual? Or should laws challenge preconceptions and foster an evolution in the perception of female bodies? Given that in the US, there are over 200,000 occurrences of sexual assault annually, with 9 out of 10 victims being women, both sides understandably feel that the sexualization of the female body is a high-stakes issue.

Advocates like Phoenix Feeley and Go Topless, though, would argue in favor of the more progressive second approach: using law as a tool for change. Pro-topless equality supporters claim that if state and local governments facilitate the normalizing of female bodies, people will begin to see women less as sex objects for the taking, a mental shift which could feed a decline in, among other problems, assault. They claim they are pushing for equal laws in an effort not only to gain legal fairness, but to change the overall view of women in American society. Legal thought in the U.S. seems to be shifting, slowly, in their favor. Only time will tell whether their social predictions, too, will be borne out.

I really can’t see a change of social acceptability, regardless of the legal situation.

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Well done Cactus

September 19th, 2013 at 7:00 am by David Farrar



The Herald reports:

The Kiwis behind the dawn flag-bombing stunt at one of Larry Ellison’s San Francisco properties today said the operation took hours in the researching and planning.

A video posted online this morning of a trio, calling themselves the Kiwi ninjas, decorating Ellison’s garage with New Zealand flags has fast gone viral. The idea was dreamt up by a group of fervent Team New Zealand supporters over a few beers earlier this week.

One of the ninjas who donned the full lycra body suit, Cathy Odgers, said everything down to the type of duct tape they used to attach the flags to the garage door was thoroughly researched

“I think it would have taken five billable hours of planning the whole exercise,” joked Odgers, a lawyer by trade, “but the result was priceless.”

“We’d done a reconnaissance mission before that so we could get the logistics all nailed down.”

Odgers, who performed the stunt with builder Paul ‘Noddy’ Holmes, and Daniel Welton (aka the random from the Hawke’s Bay) said they were careful not to cause any damage to Ellison’s property, situated in the wealthy district of Presidio, which looks down on to the Golden Gate Bridge.

“It wasn’t a wooden door, it was a stainless steel – so it wasn’t going to mark or anything like that. We didn’t want his nice garage door ruined by duct tape. I made sure we picked the right tape as well, we spend a while researching that.” 

Excellent job. Let’s hope today is the day the NZ flag wins the America’s Cup.

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Doll marriage next after same sex marriage?

September 13th, 2013 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

The Atlantic reports:

Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don’t want to deal with humans’ inconsistencies.

Personally I think the inconsistencies are what makes relationships fun :-)



Is it just me, or does he look a bit doll-like himself?

Sidore is a RealDoll, manufactured by Abyss Creations in the shape of a human woman. She is covered in artificial skin made of silicone, so she’s soft. These high-end, anatomically correct—even equipped with fake tongues—love dolls (or capital-D Dolls) are ostensibly made for sex. But 40-year-old Davecat (a nickname acquired from videogames that he now prefers to go by) and others who call themselves iDollators see their dolls as life partners, not sex toys. Davecat and Sidore (or, as he sometimes calls her, Shi-chan) obviously aren’t legally married, but they do have matching wedding bands that say “Synthetik [sic] love lasts forever,” and he says they’re considering some sort of ceremony for their 15th anniversary.

As there have been predictions that same sex marriage will lead to polygamy, people marrying their sister etc, is the next logical step that people can legally marry their love dolls? :-)

Davecat considers himself an activist for synthetic love, and the rights of synthetic humans, such as Shi-chan. 

They have rights?

When and why did you purchase your first Doll? Were you thinking of companionship at the time, or was it just for sex?

I bought Shi-chan back in 2000. Admittedly, my reasons for purchasing her were 70 percent sex, 30 percent companionship. I’ve always been attracted to artificial women such as mannequins, and especially Gynoids, which are robots made in the likeness of human females. In late 1998 one of my best friends, showed me the RealDoll website, as she knew I was keen on artificial women. I thought they were gorgeous creations, and having one would not only dispel loneliness, but be excellent for sex as well. And I was right!

I wonder how the companionship works? Do they discuss what is on the TV?

We’ve all seen relationships where things start out fantastically, and then just end up falling apart. A friend of mine just got divorced after 17 years of marriage. That’s an enormous investment of time, money, and emotion, and I’m not interested in having someone in my life who may bail at any time, or who transforms into someone unpleasant. Ultimately, getting romantically involved with an organic woman doesn’t seem worth it to me.

Yeah those organic woman are just so much hard work!

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An interview with John Clarke

September 7th, 2013 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

Alexander Bisley interviews John Clarke, the force behind the hilarious Clarke & Dawe in Australia.

AB: There’s an excellent documentary on the Russian group Pussy Riot. The British director was telling me about the vital importance of humour as a weapon, and how people like Vladimir Putin just don’t have a good sense of humour.

JC: The Russians are very good on that subject because humour was one of the sustaining aspects of Soviet society. The cartoonists in Russia at that time were not only brilliant, they were enormously brave and they didn’t all survive. It’s very important. The most delicious thing is to do something that isn’t a joke and which only the prison guard doesn’t laugh at. In Ancient Greece irony was “the glory of the slaves.”

Some of the Greek and Roman plays were delightfully subversive as the slave owners were often portrayed as doltish, and the slaves as the real crafty ones.

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Is this meant to discourage people from drinking

September 6th, 2013 at 7:00 am by David Farrar

Bob McCoskrie blogs a Herald article:

Young adult drinkers dependent on the bottle are nearly 10 times more likely to have had 10 or more sexual partners within several years than people who don’t misuse alcohol, a new study shows.

If this news gets out, I’d say it will encourage many more young people to drink more, if it means they are ten times more likely to have sex with more partners!!


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Defined Lines

September 2nd, 2013 at 3:00 pm by David Farrar

I did have the video from You Tube embedded but for some insane reason they have removed it. Stuff has a copy on their site.

It is from the Auckland University Law Revue and had 300,000 views on one weekend before You Tube removed it. Superbly produced, and very witty. It is of course a parody of Blurred Lines.


Yes that is a fish in my pocket

August 31st, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Stuff reports:

A Vietnamese air passenger is facing prosecution by the Ministry for Primary Industries (MPI) after trying to smuggle live tropical fish into New Zealand in his trouser pockets.

New Zealand Customs officials noticed the man’s cargo pants had bulging pockets with water dripping through the fabric when he arrived at Auckland airport this week from Australia.

The passenger said he was carrying water from the plane because he was thirsty.

When asked to show what was in his pockets, the passenger revealed two plastic bags containing water and seven live fish.

I’m almost impressed that he flew 10 hours with two bags of fish in water in his pockets! If only they had not leaked!

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Wait and watch for the reaction of the Judges

August 27th, 2013 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

Watch this cute six year old girl sing. Priceless.


David Shearer’s Resignation – The Opera

August 26th, 2013 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

David Shearer’s resignation speech sung as an opera. Very well done.


John Stringer 22 August 2013 – A reprise? (Shearer goes)

August 22nd, 2013 at 9:00 pm by Kokila Patel

Dec 2011…


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So what sort of security checks will airports implement for this?

August 20th, 2013 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

The Mirror reports:

Heathrow Airport is on high terror alert amid fears women suicide bombers are ready to strike with ­explosives concealed in breast implants.

Security checks have been beefed up after “credible” intelligence that al-Qaeda is plotting attacks on airlines flying out of London.

One staff member said: “There are genuine fears over this.

“We have been told to pay particular attention to females who may have concealed hidden explosives in their breasts.

I predict an upsurge in applications for people to work in airport security! :-)


10 worst behaved tourists

August 20th, 2013 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

Stuff has a list of the ten worst behaved tourists. They are:

  1. Americans
  2. Brits
  3. Russians
  4. Chinese
  5. Aussies
  6. Germans
  7. Indians
  8. French
  9. Italians
  10. Brazilians

I can’t say I have come across that many badly behaved tourists to judge, but do make a point of always claiming I’m Australian if I’m overseas and misbehaving. It seems to give you a exemption from disapproval :-)

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An accident?

August 18th, 2013 at 7:18 am by David Farrar

The Herald reports:

A popular radio DJ accidentally sent a photo of his genitals to a Kiwi Paralympian – and appears likely to get away without disciplinary action.

The Edge morning host Dom Harvey sent the photo to London Paralympic gold medallist Sophie Pascoe through the Snapchat social media tool, which shows a picture for a set length of time before disappearing, so the viewer cannot keep it.

I have a theory. If you don’t take photos of your cock, then it is very very difficult to accidentally send someone a photo of them!

Harvey says the picture was intended for his radio producer Sophie Hallwright and he immediately apologised to Pascoe – who was in Canada, competing at the IPC Championship swimming meet.

What did his producer do to get sent his genitals!?

Pascoe tweeted about the incident before winning gold in the 100m freestyle in world record time. “Just finished eating dinner and opened Snapchat. #awkward surprise.”

She should have saved it and tweeted it :-)

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Cats v Dogs

August 15th, 2013 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar reports:

A WOMAN who died in her isolated home in Hampshire, UK, was gnawed by her cats after her death.

Southampton Coroner’s Court heard that Janet Veal, 56, was found on her kitchen floor on April 4 after neighbours noticed her letterbox had not been cleared and raised the alarm, the Daily Mail reports.

Police who entered the home through an unfastened window found a “distressing scene” inside with the dead bodies of a number of animals also found alongside their owner.

They are believed to have starved to death after they were left without food. It is also believed some of the animals had begun to feed on their owner.

This is more common that people might think. I understand that if you die and have a dog, the dog will howl and wail and miss you terribly. But if you die with a cat, then they may start feeding on you within a few hours!

I like that old saying that dogs have masters, and cats have staff! So true!


Ram v motorcycle

August 13th, 2013 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Someone give that ram a Tui!

The Herald reports:


A Nelson trailbike rider has become an internet sensation after posting a video showing him being attacked by an angry ram.


Marty Todd’s YouTube video, in which the surly ram known as Rambro prevents him from riding up a dirt track, has gone viral after being featured on CNN and Britain’s Daily Mail website.


“I was riding my trailbike up a hill when I came across this grumpy old ram with huge horns,” Mr Todd said. “It charged my bike then started attacking me, [he's a] surprisingly powerful animal.”


Mr Todd said he couldn’t turn his trailbike around as he was on a steep hill and if he did the ram would have charged him side-on, which could have broken his leg

“This guy is known for his aggression and attacks for no reason, he’s even attacked a group of pig-hunting dogs. In the end I had to pick up a branch and wave it in front of him, he didn’t like the noise and backed off enough for me to make my escape.”

Maybe he needs to ride with a shotgun!



The 2nd to last Doctor?

August 6th, 2013 at 8:12 am by David Farrar

The Herald reports:

Peter Capaldi is going from spin doctor to Doctor Who. The BBC yesterday announced that the Scottish actor, best known as venom-spitting political fixer Malcolm Tucker in the sitcom The Thick of It and its film spin-off, In the Loop, is the new star of Doctor Who, the famed science fiction series soon to celebrate its 50th anniversary.

The identity of the new Doctor had been the subject of frantic speculation, and the revelation was made with fanfare befitting one of Britain’s best-known programmes – during a live television broadcast.

Capaldi is the 12th actor to play the Doctor, a galaxy-hopping Time Lord who travels in the Tardis, a time machine shaped like an old-fashioned British police telephone booth. At age 55, he’s also the oldest since the first Doctor, William Hartnell.

Doctors seem to last three to four years so probably around 2020, it will either be the end of Dr Who, or they will find a loophole for the only 12 regenerations rule!

Capaldi was awesome as Malcolm Tucker. I look forward to seeing him as the Doctor.